It's still early enough into the school year that there aren't any after school practices on the football field yet, leaving the pink haired girl sitting under the bleachers blissfully lost in her "borrowed" guitar. Stumming the stings softly as she flitted through her mental catalog of songs, her mind stops on the memory the glee club's performance of "You Can't Stop The Beat". Stops on the memory of a glowing smile, twirling brown hair, and an angelic voice.
The memory of a far too large body enveloping the tiny singer, placing a kiss on her lips, and guiding her out of the auditorium with his arm slung over her shoulders.
Her teeth clench and her fingers stop stroking the guitar strings. She had finally found herself over the summer, or at least part of her. Joining the Skanks was easy, her pink hair and dark clothes making her fit in seamlessly. It didn't hurt that she was sleeping with Mack either.
Her attraction to women wasn't new, just buried under years and years of repression. The alcohol and drugs made it easier. And if she closed her eyes tight enough, she could almost pretend that it was a different small brunette she was holding and kissing.
A song finally in mind, she begins plucking the strings, her soft voice tinted with her longing
You don't want me, no
You don't need me
Like I want you, oh
Like I need you
Her voice began to waver, eyes tightly closed, as she hits the chorus.
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life
As much as she fought against her feelings, Quinn couldn't help the intense need to be around other girl. She wonders if seeing Rachel is worth the pain of seeing her being happy and in love with him.
The first, heartfelt, inane answer is always a resounding yes. Quinn's always been something of a masochist.
You can't see me, no
Like I see you
I can't have you, no
Like you have me
A bitter chuckle escapes, because if anyone has ever seen Quinn, it was the annoyingly perceptive singer. Though the laugh dies out as she sings the last lines. Because if there was one thing about Quinn Fabray that never changed regardless of who she was, it was that she was Rachel's.
But Rachel would never be hers.
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life
Love
Love
Love
And that was her biggest problem. Quinn was in love. In love with a brighter than the sun smile. In love with a booming, enthralling voice. In love with disgustingly cute and oddly flattering animal sweaters. In love the inextinguishable spark of determination in deep, soul, warm brown eyes.
She was in love with Rachel Berry. And it was killing her.
You can't feel me, no
Like I feel you
I can't steal you, no
Like you stole me
Rachel Berry could give the most talented and renown thief a run for their money, because not ever she knew that she had stolen Quinn. Stolen her heart, stolen her mind, stolen her soul. Quinn hadn't even known until two years later.
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
As the last few notes drifted into the air, tears dripped onto the the wood. Hands clutching the instrument tightly and lips sealed shut to keep the sobs from escaping, Quinn let herself cry.
Because no matter how painful it was to be near her, Quinn would always find her way back to Rachel.
