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As of late, the incoming arrivals baffled the U.S government. The more "Transformers"-a name coined by American officials- that landed on Earth, the more wary the humans became. And it also seemed as of late, Jazz had shifted his role as second in command to the base nanny.
"Y'know what happens if yall don't listen to the law?" The lieutenant crossed his arms and smiled warmly at the three Autobots in front of him.
"What Jazz?" Sideswipe asked, leaning against the wall.
Jazz's smile turned indulgent. "You get the boot."
The twins looked at each other.
"Wuz that?" asked Mudflap, screwing a servo digit into one of his audio receptors as though he hadn't caught what the superior officer had said.
"What does human footwear have to do with speeding?" Sideswipe was collected, seemingly nonchalant about the matter, even when he was the real culprit when it came to driving faster than the set speed limit. The twins just followed their superior's example that Optimus Prime specifically ordered them not to do.
Jazz inwardly grimaced. Two bots can play at that game.
"You'll see." Jazz turned around, only to find his optics couldn't leave a pair of nude breasts attached to an equally nude human.
"Something wrong, sir?"
Jazz gnashed his denta. "You know exactly whats wrong!" He bit out with an accusing finger towards Sideswipe who only shrugged. His hand then scooped up the human proto form from the ground, fingers wrapped around specific areas, and jerked it wildly at the three mechs, startling the twins. "Someone better start talkin!"
"What you have in your hand is a female Earthling, Jazz." Sideswipe stepped forward and the twins cowered behind his shadow.
"I know that." Snapped the 2IC.
"So why did you even ask?"
"I swear we had nut'in to do wit it." Skids whined.
"Nut'in!" Mudflap nodded quickly.
"Cuz she's naked!" Jazz roared, feeling the oncoming of a Sideswipe-induced short circuit.
"Well we pretty much established that mister obvious, haven't we?" The silver mech replied. "Can you please put my designated driver down? She's very sensitive; it took twelve hours to cultivate her."
When Sideswipe reached out, Jazz snatched the threadbare holoform back. "I bet you didn't even get this approved by Prime."
"He only said we should be seen with human drivers when we leave base. It's below me to go against orders. Now may I have Elena back?"
Jazz felt the programmed human squirm in his hand and mewl; the 2IC ignored the lewd sounds.
"Where in the Pit do you think you plan on headin to on an island this small?" Jazz stared skeptically at the autobot. By the Allspark, this bot needed to get a good ass whooping. "You named it and you didn't have the decency to give it clothes. What slaggin fantasies are you conjuring up now?"
"You're not usually this prissy, Jazz." Sideswipe waved dismissively. "Stop being so uptight."
"You're a sick bot, yknow that? Sick bot."
"It's not even human! It's basically me!" the other silver mech angrily interrupted. "I get to do what I want with my body!"
Jazz shuddered. He didn't want to think that the naked female that was warming up his processor was actually Sideswipe.
"Shut it off, reprogram it, or I will shove it up your tailpipe as it is." Jazz growled and tossed the holoform at the mech who caught it expertly with one hand.
"Alright, alright." the mech grumbled then smirked. "You gotta admit I did a good job."
"Get to it!" Jazz barked. As the mech left, he looked at the twins twiddling their thumbs.
"You two…"
"We'll put stuff on our drivers too!" Mudflap piped.
"Yeah, Jazz, y-you's don' haf'ta worry bout a thing, man! We was jus followin Sides cuz he said iz normal for humans to hang loose. But we… Uh… we Uh Uh…" Skids trailed off.
"-have learned from the error of our ways," Mudflap finished the thought.
Skids smacked the back of his twin's head. The clang echoed throughout the sector. "I was gonna say that ya dumbass! Hey! hey! Watch the ear! Hurts man!"
Jazz had snatched the flapping metal flaps on the sides of both the Autobots' head and flung them into the wall.
The commotion had the recently promoted Major Lennox dashing into the room. "What… is going on?" The man's eyes widened at the two dents in the wall and then the two mechs cradling their heads on the floor.
"Cybertronian discipline, Major." Jazz saluted the human before he grabbed one pede from each of the disoriented Twins and dragged them out the exit that automatically slid open after detecting the great mass of hulking metal. "Now if you'll excuse me...gotta finish what I've started."
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My first completed fic. So short I know. Hope you had fun reading this as much as I had fun writing this random ridiculous thought of mine.
