Amanda's heart fell when she saw the subpoena on her desk. She knew she would need to testify against Chief Patton once the accusation came in, and she wanted to help the other Detective, but she didn't want to testify. She knew what would come out if she testified, she didn't want it out. She wanted to leave Atlanta behind. She had tried and been successful for years. But now it was going to come out no matter how hard she had tried to keep it in. She truly wanted to help the other detective and knew telling the court would really help. But the idea of telling people instilled more fear in her than she had felt in a long time. She had kept it secret from everyone besides the doctors that had checked her out. She couldn't help but wonder how much it would hurt the squad that she hadn't told them, she was an SVU detective she counsels victims daily and she couldn't take her own advice.
Deputy Chief Patton had raped her and she needed to tell people before it would come out in court.
She had asked Finn to meet her after work at the nearest bar. She knew he would go all Papa Bear on her but would be accepting of her keeping this a secret for so long. She had gotten to the bar before he had giving her nerves enough time to build.
When Finn arrived and saw her with her back turned to him he put a hand on her back alerting her of his presence. When she flinched as he rounded around to face her he knew something was up. "Hey 'Manda. How you been?" He asked with a deep concern.
"I've been better. You?" Amanda could help but stall no matter how much she wanted to and knew she needed to tell him.
"Not bad. What's up? You set to testify soon?" Finn realized she needed to do this at her own pace, whatever it was.
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. So something that I haven't really told anyone is probably going to come up when I testify." Amanda felt her breath hitch in nervousness. She wasn't used to telling people and now she knew why and she hadn't even gotten to the hard part yet.
"Ok." Finn knew she needed to tell him what she was trying to and tried to help her get there.
"I left Atlanta because Chief Patton raped me." Amanda said in one breath. She knew if she didn't spit it out quickly if wasn't going to happen. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you" She added in another quick breath. She looked at Finn's face trying to read his emotions as they flashed across his face. Before he spoke he leaned in and brought her into the tightest hug he could manage, trying to help in the only way he knew how. He felt her let out the breath she had been unconsciously holding.
As he felt her start to cry he pulled away but left his hands on her shoulders; "You have nothing to be sorry about. Absolutely nothing. Thank you so much for trusting me and telling me this 'Manda. What can I do? Do you want to talk about it?" His deep concern was becoming more evident in both his face and tone of voice.
"Thank you. Just thank you." She wiped her few tears away upset and embarrassed that they were there. "I don't really want to talk about it. I just don't know what to do next or who to tell next." She tried to let him in as hard as it was for her.
"Well I think at least Liv, Nick, and Barba should know before trial." At her nod he kept talking. "I don't think you could really go wrong when it comes to order. Though I'm sure if you gave Barba enough notice he would be able to change his plans a little bit and make your testimony as effective as possible."
Amanda nodded again then spoke; "That's a really good point about Barba." She paused for a brief moment trying to come up with what to say; "Thanks Fin." She can't come up with anything else.
"Anytime." Fin cracks a genuine smile. "You make sure to let me know if he even looks at you funny. I'll make sure he regrets it." Amanda smiles seeing the Papa Bear in him coming out. "I'm sorry we have to investigate this case."
"Not your fault. I just hope I can be the final nail in his coffin." She finds a way to gain a new determination.
"There's the Amanda I know." He pats her on the shoulder.
Thank you for reading! I hope to have 3 more chapters up in the next few days with all of this time on my hands from winter break. I would love to hear your reviews.
