I DO NOT OWN HELLSING

This chapter has been edited and updated as previously promised.


Integra lay in bed, alone and silent. She claimed that she could not sleep, but it would have been more true to say that she did not dare sleep.
First introductions, it was said, were the most lasting…
and what an introduction to Iscariot that day had been!
She had heard the name of Iscariots leader before that day of course, and assumed that he knew of her reputation too. She knew to expect a zealot because anyone who commanded the killer priest the 'Paladin' Alexander Anderson would surely have to be cut of the same cloth, and she was prepared for a confident and forceful personality in the man because Iscariot was the Vatican's largest and most aggressive military unit and it wasn't the sort of thing a weak individual could take charge of and hope to keep…
but the true shock had been the age of the man – she'd though he would be at least middle aged at forty but no! He was only just her senior by barely a handful of years!
Her gut twisted, she groaned and turned on her side with a grimace.
No NO! She must not think this way! Could not!
But then… she was thinking about it, she was thinking about it right now, wasn't she?
"This will not do, you seem to hold quite a grudge." That purr of a voice, that Italian lilt and that sly, coy look he had given her... he was intelligent and trying to read her actions, trying to figure her out and see what sort of woman she was from the word 'go'.
Her mouth was suddenly dry and she buried her head beneath her pillows as she trembled with conflicting emotions she didn't dare admit to herself.
The memory surged unwanted through her mind as she tried to blot it out and supress it like she would of a bad hangover. His voice played out silently in her mind, "We are not here to pick a fight with you Sir Integra…"
"I don't believe you!" she yelled into her mattress as she slammed her palms against the pillows around her "I won't believe you!".
As she tried to fight back the horrible fact she was on the verge of angry tears she recognised how very badly a part of her wished that she could feel more trusting with that man.
Some small and very lonely part of her really wished she'd bought all that lying bull crap from him and that the two of them might have simply pretended that Anderson had been acting out of impulsive and unauthorised zeal in Badrick before continuing their negotiations….

She lay there deliberately keeping her mind blank, trying to still her racing heart. She willed the colour that was rising to her cheeks to leave. Why did she feel so strangely about him? Why him out of all people?
His face flashed through her mind; his high cheekbones and long sharp nose, the pale skin and silvery hair that made him seem older than his years… those fascinating and quite entrancing purple eyes of his that had looked so serenely at her from behind those reading glasses that he had no need of save for appearances…
She swallowed and tried to force some truths into her own skull; that same angelic face had twisted with disgust at both her and her religion, that purring voice had become a snarl, the man had broken those glasses in fit of anger at her tone. His demeanour changed as quickly as the wind before he'd regained his composure.
… but still her breath caught itself in her throat despite the memory of his rather childish behaviour, and all the while her treacherous subconscious reminded her that she was a woman who passed herself off as a peer amongst powerful men by dressing as them and doing as they did, what right did she have to judge Maxwell on the way his moods swung because his emotions dictated it be so?

So hate him for his stance against you! She willed herself Resent him for his comments, resent all he represents, resent the fact he and his organisation exists, resent the whole damn Catholic faith if that's what it takes – but don't keep thinking about him like you are now!
The problem was that though she tried to hate him she could not help but realise there were too many similarities between herself and the man she was trying so hard to despise right now.
She knew she was telling herself she had to hate and resent and repress all thoughts about Enrico Maxwell… because if she didn't do all that then suddenly she didn't see all that many reasons why they couldn't get on if she made the effort and he could be persuaded to stay long enough to hear her out.
But with the way she was thinking right now about Enrico Maxwell she didn't trust that her practical mind wasn't fooling her into trying to create a friendly relationship with Iscariot to have an excuse for something else entirely…

Integra rose with a groan and got ready for the day with a speed and haste that surprised herself since she'd slept poorly the night before indeed!
Walter was surprised to see his Master risen before he had come to call her to return to the rising world and all the tasks ahead of her.
"Good morning Sir Integra, I trust you are well rested Master?" her old friend and faithful butler greeted her in his soft warm voice.
"I am Walter." She replied shortly, trying to mask her weariness with the impression she was busy tending to her appearance right now.
"Is everything all right ma'am?" he asked her as he opened her curtains to let the daylight into the room.
"I'm fine, good morning by the way." she had to struggle to sound her usual business like self as she brushed knots out of her hair. Oh this hair was becoming a bother for her!
Her hair was admittedly one of the few feminine qualities she refused to let go of (her father had always loved her long hair and told her that it was one of the most defining things about her, and to cut it short had seemed a betrayal to his memory after he has passed away) and it was an upkeep she persevered with though the knots were sometimes painful to get out and expensive conditioner was needed in vast quantities to help her with its maintenance.
"Sir, are you certain you're quite well? You look a little distracted…" Walter asked her.
She noted his critical gaze in the mirror and he was just a moment too late in hiding the concern on his face from her.
She sighed "Walter, I've never once criticized you for speaking freely, why are you pussy footing around me this morning?" she asked him.
The butler smiled apologetically at her "Well Sir, in my experience you aren't in the best moods when you don't get a good nights sleep." He smoothly replied.
"I see." She turned to face him and looked at him for a moment "and do I seem tired this morning?" she asked directly.
"Quite so, sir." Walter confessed.
He was careful about how he said that to her, to comment upon his Master's appearance was very disrespectful but in this case she knew he only mentioned it because her health was a paramount concern to him as a close friend as well as a retainer and butler.

"Well, stop fretting about it Walter, it was just one rough nights sleep after all" she answered with a false breeziness "and nothing that breakfast won't fix I'm sure." She hinted for him to drop the matter and worry about his tasks for now.
The butler bowed "Very good ma'am. As it happens I have had breakfast prepared and it's now waiting upon your pleasure, will you take it in here, the dining room or in the study today?" he asked her politely.
"Neither of those Walter, I think I should like some air this morning to enjoy breakfast with. Set it out on the veranda please, and I'll be there presently once I've finished here." She ordered him.
Walter gave one last short bow and left her. She breathed a sigh of relief that he'd only commented about her appearance today for she'd told him a lie.
This was not the first night this week that sleep had been troubled and difficult for her because of Maxwell and the concerns that she felt of his Organisation.
She let out a sigh – if this kept up she would surely have to start taking pills…

A sudden fury took her and she pushed the thought down, Pills? Pills?! My god, pull yourself together woman – the leadership of the Hellsing Organisation does not drug herself to sleep because she can't relax about some silly infatuation! Get a hold of yourself!
Feeling a little embarrassed that she'd considered the medical alternatives to healthy rest because of her momentary weakness she decided that the air was needed in more ways than one. Hopefully she'd think more carefully about her decisions once her head had been cleared by the fresh air and some sunshine.


There, I'm happier with those edits and the slight extension. Do let me know your thoughts and enjoy the next chapter!