AN: Hello all! How have you been? This popped into my head last night and I finished it this morning after I got up. Hope you enjoy it! Lies.

The day that my life changed, I was plunged into darkness…

3:02 Am. It's dark outside.

I get to my feet as I hear Jack open the front door. Muffled voices. My bedroom is dark. I open the door.

The hallway is dark. I pad down the stairs into another dark hallway.

Jack is standing at the door, her black dressing gown wrapped around her skinny shoulders as she clutched painfully at her arms.

The two police officers stood in the shadows cast by a street light. The light flickers out. I walk towards Jack, nervous.

I didn't need to know what they were saying. I knew, I'd known since I'd heard Jacks voice. Since I'd bothered to get up out of my nice warm bed. Since I'd noticed the shadows.

Jack was shaking. I go to her and wrap my arm around her shoulders as she closes the door. She stares at me, tears dripping down her cheeks.

"Alex…"

The day that he died, I became blind…

Nothing mattered anymore… Ian was gone. The last connection to my parents, my only family, dead.

I walked around Hyde Park, very aware of the loss I felt, yet totally blind to the strangers watching me.

The day that they called, I noticed the change…

It was subtle, barely noticeable yet; it felt like a gaping hole inside me… a hole that would never be filled…

As the phone rang, I felt that feeling, that foreboding feeling, instinct…

I pick up the phone and put it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Alex Rider? This is the Royal and General, I'm afraid we must speak about your uncle, can you come in?"

"Alright" A change…

The first time that I caused bloodshed, I started loosing my mind…

It was everywhere, blood, my hands, my wrists oozed it, thick, red, sticky. It was all over me, all over me. I looked at the fallen bodies; their blood was on my hands…their blood…

The first time I drew a gun, part of me died…

I drew the gun, my eyes locked on the guard as he advanced… I couldn't do it, if I did, if I did the last remaining link to my humanity would fade… but, I would die… oh gods! He has a knife! He's running, running, so close… BANG!

I sob. "NO!"…

The first time I said no, Mr. Blunt lied…

"No."

"Alex, surely your conscience can't let you leave those kids behind? They're counting on you; if you can't get them out, they will stay in the clutches of Mr. Doni for the rest of their lives, however short that time may be. We don't have time to get another agent inside. You're their only hope."

I felt the guilt start to eat at my insides. "Fine." I get up and walk out of the office…

Mrs. Jones looks at Mr. Blunt. "Shall I call back agent Roberts?" Mr. Blunt stares at her.

"Of course Mrs. Jones, she won't be needed anymore."…

The last time they called, I gave in…

"Yes?"

"Alex, can you come down to the bank, we need to ask you some questions about your uncles account." I watched as Jack panicked, shaking her head desperately. "No, no, no!" She mouthed. I frowned sadly. "I'm sorry," I mouthed back at her. "Fine." I hung up…

The last time I fought, I lost…

I kicked out wildly, no longer calm and collected as I dodged a fist flying at my face.

I felt a foot connect with my shoulder from behind and cried out, stumbling forward.

The two bulky henchmen advanced as I fell to my knees, breathing heavily.

Blood trickled from one of the cuts on my forehead and another deep gash across my stomach hurt so badly I couldn't concentrate. The man on my left was holding something, he raised it slowly and I noticed it glint in the sun. A knife.

I tried to get to my feet, but my knees buckled as the numerous cuts and bruises spread across my body screamed in protest.

I whimpered softly, eyeing the blade.

Then everything sped up, he shoved the knife forward, into my chest swiftly. I gasped in pain. I'd lost…

The last time I breathed, I surrendered to the darkness…

They walked away. As I collapsed on my side, I watched them turn their backs and disappear.

I clawed at my chest, not quite brave enough to pull out the knife.

I brought my hand to my face, looking at the blood. I sighed in defeat.

Grey clouded my vision. It was wrong. It was wrong that I was glad. I should be fighting. But, although I was sad for Jack and Tom… I was happy. At peace. They couldn't use me again. I cough blood. Watching it splatter on the ground as it dribbled from my mouth. The grey had turned to black. I couldn't see. I drew a wet, gurgling breath, and surrendered to the darkness.

AN: Not my best work but, eh. Review if you want, even if you don't (jokes) lol.

Seriously though, I'd really like to know what you think. Lies.