A/N: Don't own Les Mis so don't bother suing. I'm already getting enough flak from the characters for putting them through this.

Valjean: Javert!

Everyone: WTF?

Javert: I'm right here!

Valjean: Oh, you heard me, huh?

Me: Dude, people in the Rent fandom heard you! I know you're old but...

Cosette: My papa's not old!

Grantaire: *snickers*

Enjolras: Sorry, mademoiselle, but yeah. He's fairly old.

Courfeyrac: What did you think we meant when we said "You've got some years behind you, sir"?

Valjean: Uh, I'm right here!

Me: Enough! *Everyone freezes* Right. Now, VJ, what did you want to say to Javert?

Everyone: *staring*

Javert: ... VJ?

Me: Huh? Oh. Oops.

Gavroche: Hehe, VJ, VJ...

Valjean: You be quiet, Gavvie!

Me: Oh, that's mature(!)

Enjolras: Actually I'd say it was immature... *sees me glaring* What?

Me: For a law student with brilliant oratory skills, you can be pretty thick sometimes, Enjy.

Enjolras: *paling* Wh – What did you just call me?

Me: Oh no... *facepalm*

Combeferre: I actually think it kind of suits you...

Me: Oh no you don't! Leave the slash outside, thank you!

Grantaire: *smiling dreamily* Mmm... Slash!

Javert: Filthy perverted creature!

Lesgles: Oh give it a rest, Javvie.

Javert: Making fun of an officer of the law? Jail!

Combeferre: He didn't mean to...

Javert: Disagreeing with the judgment of said officer of the law? Jail!

Enjolras: See? This is exactly why I wanted to stage a revolution.

Javert: Conspiring to perform illegal action? Jail!

Me: Hey, Enjy, I ain't stopping you.

Javert: Conspiring to conspire to perform illegal action? Jail!

Me: Annoying the writer? 24601 slash stories with every male character I can think of!

Javert: ... I'll be over here.

Me: Okay, to try and get this back to some kind of sanity –

Grantaire: You're talking to fictional characters.

Joly: Is insanity contagious?

Bahorel: Yeep. And deadly!

Joly: *going white* AHHH!

Jehan: That wasn't nice, Bahorel.

Me: Shut up! Okay, -

Marius: You do realize that's the second time you've said "Okway" in half a page?

Me: *sighs* May I continue?

Everyone: *consents (with minor grumbles)*

Me: Thank you. Okay, -

Marius: Third.

Me: Marius Harriet Pontmercy, you interrupt me one more time, and I'll make you regret it!

Marius: My middle name's not Harriet...

Me: Who's the writer?

Gavroche: *admiringly* Ooh, badass!

Me: Thank you, 'Vroche. Okay, -

Marius: *saying nothing but holding up four fingers*

Jehan: How would you make him regret it?

Me: I dunno. Probably write him into a Phantom of the Opera fanfic or something.

Lesgles: Hm... doesn't seem so bad...

Me: As Raoul's boyfriend.

Everyone: Ah.

Me: Yeep. So, no one annoy me, okay?

Everyone: Ok.

Me: Now. Valjean, why did you come in here yelling for Javert?

Valjean: Huh?

Feuilly: I think she means at the very beginning of this.

Valjean: Hm?

Joly: You don't remember?

Valjean: ...

Courfeyrac: Oh, well that's just great, isn't it?

Grantaire: So... this whole thing's been completely pointless?

Enjolras: It certainly seems that way...

Me: Alright! Everyone, no one's leaving till we sort this insane mess out!

Everyone: *moans and complains*

Javert: Well, this is gonna be a fun night(!)

A/N: Grr. Why are they so hard to control? Anyway, please R/R cos it'll make these guys happy and happy Mizzies are … hmm. Doesn't really make sense, does it? Oh you know what I mean!