As Beautiful As the Ocean

All from Finnick's POV

Chapter 1

After I won the Games, everything changed. I had always considered life as a victor free, which was one of the reasons I tried so hard to win. But I was wrong. Life as a victor was even worse than life as a fisher boy back home. I would never be free, especially not from all those girls. Practically every female from District 4 and the Capitol were crazy for me. This was supposedly because of my good looks; glinting bronze hair, a tan, and sea green eyes. OK, so maybe no one could resist that. But I didn't want girls. I wanted a normal life. But the Capitol and the Games made that impossible.

There was this one girl I always noticed. She was a few years younger than me but she was always standing there, waiting for me. She would always wave at me shyly and I wouldn't hesitate before smiling back. I started thinking about her every day, waiting for her visits, and she would always be there. I had the weird feeling she felt the same about me. Then one day, I received a gift from her. A perfect, blossoming red rose, with her name attached on a piece of parchment. A name as beautiful as the rose, as the girl herself. Annie Cresta. Annie and I kept delivering messages and visiting each other, and all was fine until the reaping for the 70th Hunger Games. I couldn't be reaped since I was a Victor, but I stood onstage alongside the announcer, and my sweet old mentor, Mags. Since I never wanted to mentor any children, Mags does it for me. The announcer walked over to the girls' bowl and picked a piece of paper from the very bottom, and read it out loud. And then it's as if the world turned upside down, because I was so dizzy and this couldn't be happening. Because the name was Annie Cresta.

Chapter 2

When I recovered, I saw her walking towards the stage, tears threatening to spill over her eyelashes. Delicate, sweet, gentle Annie, the Capitol would crush her like a bug. Thinking about this, I hadn't even noticed the male tribute had been reaped. A boy named Spike. I couldn't care less. It was time to head towards the train. I would have stayed at home, since I was a mentor, but I found myself running towards Mags, begging her to let me be a mentor this year. She gave an understanding smile, and nodded her head. I thanked her, and climbed on to the train. The escort and announcer, Sheema, just went off to her room, and the two tributes followed suit. Mags just sat at a table and looked out the window. When I told her I wanted to mentor Annie, she just gave a nod. I hugged her and went to find Annie. I reached the door of her room and heard loud sobs. I gently pushed open the door, and when Annie saw who I was, she started crying even more. I walked over to her bed and held her tight. She just lay there weeping in my arms. "It's OK, Annie, it'll be OK, don't worry," I whispered, rocking her back and forth in my lap. Between sobs, she said" I can't do it, Finnick, I just can't". I spoke soothing words until she stopped crying, and then I wiped her eyes. I smiled at her and she returned a rather teary one. She was exhausted by the day's stress, I could tell, and she placed her head in my lap. I stroked her red hair until she fell asleep. I quietly left the room as not to wake her.

Chapter 3

In the morning, when I woke up, she was wandering around the train. At the sound of my footsteps, she turned around and smiled softly. It was a beautiful one, one I didn't see very often. Then her expression turned into one of confusion. "What are you doing here, Finnick?"She asked in surprise. I grinned before I answered, "I'm here to mentor you." The look of shock on her face was almost immediately replaced by one of joy. I couldn't help but feel excited too. She just stood there looking at me as if nothing could make her happier, and I didn't try to stop her.

Soon Spike, the male tribute, came in, and when he saw us, an expression of embarrassment crossed his face and he was about to leave the dining room when I called for him to come back. He obeyed, and when he sat down, I studied him closely. He was certainly a Career Tribute, what with his vast figure and muscles rippling in his arms. He had a good chance of winning the games and he probably knew it. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help comparing him to Annie. It was only when both of them sat together that I realized Annie might not make out of the games. No, Finnick, no I scolded myself silently. Don't think about that right now. So instead, I plastered a smile on my face and started a conversation with my two tributes. Annie was mostly quiet and glanced out of the window every now and then. It was Spike who seemed to be interested in the Games. He wanted to know all about the arena, wanted to discuss the training and talk about how he would appear for his interview. I was just explaining what weapons were usually presented in the arena when Mags walked in. Sweet, old Mags, who was the only one in the world I could trust with my secrets. She was like a mother to me, and had basically raised me. She was the only cure to my madness, except perhaps Annie, so when she came to sit next to me now, I squeezed her hand as an affectionate gesture. She offered a soft smile and ruffled my hair. The two tributes looked uncomfortable at this open display of affection. I turned back to them seriously and said," Spike, this is Mags. She is going to be your mentor, while I will be Annie's. Don't worry, you both are in good hands, and with a little training, you'll make it through." I was just about to discuss what to do when we reached the Capitol, when Annie suddenly stood up, said," Excuse me" and left the room rather hurriedly. I shot a concerned glance her way and with an understanding nod from Mags, followed Annie. She was in her room, sitting on the sofa with her knees up to her chin, a faraway look in her eyes. "Annie?'" I said cautiously, as I approached her. She looked up as I sat down beside her, and smiled. But not a smile that made her face light up, not a smile that made my heart stop, not a smile I wanted to see. It was a sad smile, a smile that spoke of sorrow and regret. I knew what she was about to say before she uttered the words." You know I'm going to die, Finnick. I saw it in your eyes," she said. Her tone was not accusing, but it held certain finality. Her words unlocked a box inside my heart. When she spoke of her death, I felt pain, I felt agony, I felt sadness so extreme, it was impossible to describe. It was at that moment that I realized something. I had known it all along, but it became clear now. I loved Annie Cresta. She was a beacon of light in the darkness, the blooming rose in a barren desert. I loved her, and would die protecting her. The fierce emotion that washed over me was so intense that Annie was snapped out of her reverie when I spoke with force," No, Annie. You are not going to die. I will make sure of it." She looked into my eyes and whispered," What will you do, Finnick?" I gave her a grim smile and said," I'm going to train you."

Chapter 4

All of us; the tributes, the mentors, and the escort, gathered in the dining hall for lunch. As we waited for the dishes to be served, Spike played around with his knife and fork, horrifying Sheema, while Mags was knitting something pink that resembled a sweater. I looked at her fondly, before turning my attention to Annie, who was once again gazing out of the window. At the sight of her, a battle raged inside my head. Should I tell her of my feelings for her? A huge part of me was screaming to do so, but the other was afraid of how she would react. If she said no, I would truly be heartbroken, and besides, with going off to the arena and facing death, the last thing she needed on her plate was a relationship. That too, with a man who did unspeakable things. And what would President Snow do if he found out that I was in love with Annie? No, I decided, it was too risky. I would never put beautiful Annie in danger, and anyways, even if she loved me back, I could never truly be hers. Lunch was served and I pushed my thoughts away. I started up a conversation with Mags, while Sheema was lecturing a sullen Spike about etiquette. Annie looked as though she didn't know what to do, so I tried to engage her in chatter. She gratefully turned towards me, and just her smile made my heart flutter inside my chest. Suddenly, Sheema exclaimed loudly, "We're almost there!" Her announcement made both tributes rush towards the window to look outside. Sure enough, the candy-colored buildings were approaching and a parade of hideously dressed people were waving and yelling. I was eager to see the tributes' reaction to the Capitol, mostly Annie's. She looked horrified and even a little afraid to see such altered, inhuman faces staring at her, and moved a little back. Spike, however, seemed to be thoroughly enjoying all the attention, and was waving back enthusiastically. I got up and made my way towards Annie, but before I could say anything to her, the train came to a halt, the doors sprang open, and she was pulled into the screaming crowd.

Chapter 5

After having elbowed my way past hundreds of women nearly fainting at the sight of me and trying to cling to my shirt, having been washed and dressed by my prep team, I was standing outside near District 4's carriage, waiting for the two tributes to show up. Despite having been reassured by Mags that Annie had been taken to the Remake Centre to get dressed for the chariot rides, I was still worried about her. I hoped that she hadn't been afraid of the prep team, or that they had hurt her in any way. Lost in my thoughts, I hadn't noticed someone had arrived. A soft voice calling my name interrupted my thoughts. I looked around in surprise, and my heart jumped. It was Annie. I had always thought she was beautiful, but now, in her costume and makeup, she looked more stunning than ever. It took great self-restraint not to gather her in my arms right there and then. Annie was dressed as a mermaid. Her legs and ankles were covered by an elaborately woven skirt. Blue and green threads intertwined and emeralds dotted the edges. Her stomach was bare and her chest was covered by two lilac seashells. Her red hair was tied up at the back of her head into an intricate knot, and her lips and cheeks were a blooming pink. I couldn't help but stare. She was the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen, and I had seen many. As if feeling my eyes on her, she wrapped her arms around her exposed body. I quickly diverted my attention, embarrassed, and after clearing my throat, I spoke. "You look beautiful, Annie," I told her. She blushed, and smiling, replied," Thank you, Finnick. So do you." She realized what she had said and flushed. She stammered, "I mean, not beautiful, but handsome. Sorry, I just…" She searched for words and a smile lit up my face. Her behavior was cute, and a light laugh escaped me. She looked shyly into my eyes and laughed too. The sound was so pleasing, that soon I was doubled up in laughter, and her giggles joined mine. Suddenly, Spike appeared. Annie broke off her laughter, and so did I. I felt a twinge of anger at Spike for interrupting our moment, but quickly pushed it down. As they got into the carriage, I told them, "Remember, be cheery. Wave, smile at the crowd, blow them kisses. Give them what they want. Be as charming as you can. Don't forget, they are sponsors out there." And with a nod from the two of them, the horses took off.

Chapter 6

It was always easy, trying to gather sponsors for my tributes. This was because anyone would do anything to meet the Finnick Odair. Sometimes just flirting with them wasn't enough, sometimes they wanted a more… valuable form of payment. But thank God, nothing like that had happened so far. I had to admit, Annie and Spike did a pretty good job. Thanks to their bright costumes, they stood out the most prominently and had gotten a lot of attention. The Capitol citizens had loved the charming demeanor they had put on. I had been furious when the sleazy Capitol men cat-called and whistled at the sight of Annie. They had absolutely no right over her, and I didn't want her fate to be the same as mine. I would speak to her stylist to dress in something less exposing next time. Now, as the elevator doors opened, I saw Mags, Annie, Spike and Sheema discussing the chariot rides. Sheema was ecstatic that her tributes had been noticed and Mags was congratulating both of them heartily. They glanced at me as I walked into the living room and sat down beside Mags. I wanted to sit down with Annie, and congratulate her on the wonderful job she did, but I was afraid she might think it was awkward. I noticed that she had changed into a long-sleeved green shirt and black pants. Wait, Finnick. Since when do you notice what girls are wearing? I tried to clear my head, because when it came to Annie, my thoughts were muddled and confused. I smiled warmly at Annie and congratulated her, praising her acting and costume. I nodded my head at Spike and told him he had done a good job as well. Throughout dinner, Spike and Mags talked about the training strategies for tomorrow. I attempted at conversation on the same subject with Annie, but both of us were reluctant. After dessert had been eaten, I was about to go back to my room when Mags placed a hand on my arm. I turned to look at her, wondering what she needed to tell me and she guided me into her room. I had been here enough times that it was almost like my own room now. I had come here to tell Mags of my secrets, to ask her for advice, to cry so that she could wipe away my tears, even to sleep beside her, holding her hand for comfort. She took hold of my shoulders and sat me down on her bed. She came to sit down beside me, and I hoped she had good news for me. I prayed that it was not another client. "Finn, don't worry. It isn't another client," she said, as if reading my thoughts. She called me Finn fondly; it was her nickname for me, and she was the only one who called me that. Relied washed over me at her words. She spoke again," I've seen you with Annie, Finn. I noticed the way you look at her, the way you talk to her. You love her, don't you?" A wave of anxiety overtook me. Was I that obvious of my emotions for Annie? I knew I wasn't, but Mags-however old she might be- had a sharp and perceptive mind, and I didn't mind sharing my secret with her at all. Perhaps she could help me too. "You're right as always, Mags," I said, trying to butter her up. She whacked me on the head and said sternly," Stop flattering me, boy. Tell me, why haven't you confessed to Annie yet?" At this, I stopped rubbing my head ruefully and stared incredulously at her. "Confess to her? Why would I do that? It isn't like she loves me back, and you know what Snow would do to her if he found out," I say, wishing I could just listen to her even as I said it. Mags gave me a look. "What do you mean, she doesn't love you back? You silly boy, haven't you noticed the way she acts around you? She's always so nervous when you come into the room, and you should see how she melts when you so much as smile at her. She's always looking at you when she thinks you aren't looking. That girl definitely likes you, Finnick," Mags said. Excitement enveloped my heart as Mags spoke. Could it be true? Did Annie really have feelings for me? If she did, I could confess and start a life with her, live with her and… Hold on, Finnick, not so fast, a little voice said at the back of my mind. You could do all those things, but only if she makes it out alive. And even if she does, what about President Snow? You know you can never be wholly hers. My joy was extinguished by these thoughts. After what seemed like eternity, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I was surprised, as I hadn't cried for a long, long time. I quickly murmured a goodnight to Mags and left for my own room. I didn't bother changing; I fell into bed and pushed back the tears. It was no use crying, because what was the point if there was no one to comfort you?

Chapter 7

Annie or no Annie? Annie or no Annie? That was the question nagging at me as I made my way to the training centre where both tributes were right now. I knew in my heart of hearts that confessing to Annie would put her in danger, and I would never ham her. But at the same time, I wanted her to know so badly that it hurt. I spotted Annie and Spike as soon as I entered the training room. Spike was exchanging views with the male tribute of District 2, holding a spear in his hand. Annie was at the end of the room, and to my surprise, she was twirling a dagger in her hands. I walked over to her, because Spike didn't seem to need any help. Who was I kidding? I walked over to her because I cared more about Annie's survival than his. Annie's eyes were focused intently on the target, the dagger ready in her hand. She was just about to throw it when I came up from behind her, encircled my arms round her waist and said," Hey, Annie." She gave a start and dropped the dagger. We both bent to pick it up at the same time, and our fingers brushed. It was as if a spark of electricity shot between us. She quickly pulled her hand back, and I picked up the dagger, handing it to her. "Rule number 1 is to always be alert. You cannot be surprised if someone comes up behind you. That will give them leverage over you. Constantly check your back to make sure no one is following," I told her, and she nodded her head obediently. "What's rule number 2?" she asked and in reply to her question, I grabbed a trident. It was my signature weapon, the one that had led to my victory in the arena. It felt natural in my hands, like an extension of my arm. I threw it and it went flying towards the dummy, burying itself in its heart. "Always have perfect aim," I said. Annie squared her shoulders and a determined look appeared on her face. My heart leaped. She wanted to make it out alive. "For that I will need practice, I think," she said, and I nodded my head in agreement. A smile suddenly spread over her face. I wanted that smile to be there forever. "Then let's start now," she said. And we got right down to it. After three days of excessive and extensive training with Annie, three days full of throwing daggers and knives, identifying the poisonous foods and the safe ones, tying nooses and practicing jumping and running, I was satisfied. She had come a long way and now was a potential enemy to all the tributes. I was delighted because she now had a good chance of surviving.

Chapter 8

Caesar Flickerman really did look like a star, I thought, as I sat down on the two-seater beside Annie. We were all gathered in the living room, waiting for the tributes' training scores to be displayed, and Caesar, clad in silver, was just about to announce District 4's scores. I prayed that Annie had received a good one, so that she wouldn't be disappointed. She had come out from the training room with doubt on her face, saying that she had hurled the knives with all the force she could. Spike's face flashed on the screen, and a number 9 appeared beside it. Mags and Sheema applauded and Annie quietly congratulated him. I, too, nodded my head in his direction. He, however, was in a great state of agitation and disbelief. "What?" he said "I deserved at least an 11!" I probably would have found the whole situation funny if I wasn't so tensed up about Annie's score. She, too, was staring fixedly at the screen, anxiety making her hands tremble. I wanted to soothe her, but suddenly her face appeared on the screen. I waited with bated breath, and in a moment, an 8 flashed next to it. The living room broke into loud clapping. Sheema kissed Annie on the cheek, saying that it was lovely that her tributes had scored so well. Mags gave Annie a warm smile, and even Spike, who seemed to have recovered, congratulated her. I saw a faint note of pride in her eyes, though it was nothing compared to mine. I wanted to congratulate her too, but not with everyone watching. I rose from the sofa and made my way to my room, motioning for Annie to follow me. She did with some surprise, and when we entered my room, I shut the door. I turned to face her, and saw that she was taking in the contents of my room. I placed my hands on her shoulders, and she gave a small squeak of surprise. She blushed, and looked up at me. I took a deep breath and said, "Congratulations, Annie, you did excellently. I'm proud of you. Knew you had it in you." The last comment came with a wink in her direction. Her smile made my heart skip several beats. Then she said softly, "Thank you, Finnick. None of this would've been possible without you." I was about to protest, saying that it was her own efforts, when suddenly it happened. It was so sudden that even I didn't see it coming. But she looked so beautiful in that moment, that I was unable to resist. I leaned forward and kissed her. For a second, she froze. Then she was tangling her hands in my hair, and in that stretch of time that seemed like eternity, there was only Annie- the feel of her, of her heart hammering against mine, the scent of her lovely crimson hair. I pulled her closer by the waist and she didn't protest. Finnick, said the nagging voice in my head, you can't let this happen. Think about what President Snow would do. The voice was right. I was putting Annie in danger, and I couldn't let any harm come to her. With all the self-restraint I could muster, I pushed her away. She stood completely shocked for a moment, confusion and hurt mingling in her eyes. I sank down onto the bed and put my face in my hands. The tears came, and, this time, I didn't try to stop them.

Chapter 9

Finnick said my brother's voice in my head, you're crying in front of a girl. Kill yourself now. Caspian, I thought, with a burst of pain. Dead, dead because of me. All the agony and grief I had kept locked up for so many years suddenly came pouring out, with a fresh wave of tears. Annie's voice cut through my trauma.

"Finnick," she said her voice barely more than a whisper. I looked up at her. She clutched her heart and said,"Oh, Finnick, please don't cry, please don't." She looked on the verge of tears herself. The thought of comforting a teary person while I was crying myself was too much to bear, so I forced myself back into one piece. I took a great, ragged breath and said," I'm sorry, Annie. I shouldn't have done what I did. It's not right. You're my tribute, and I'm your mentor. We can't…" My voice trailed off at the look on Annie's face. "You mean you regretted it?" she whispered, sounding hurt. I wanted to scream No! But how could I tell her that she was the light of my life, that I loved her, without damaging her forever? Her voice interrupted my thoughts once again. "You're hiding something from me, Finnick, I know you are. What is it?" she said. I went utterly silent. How could I tell her, without scarring her, and making her turn away from me in disgust? Having Annie in my life without telling her of my feelings was agonizing, but having no Annie at all would be torture. I couldn't bear the thought of her contempt directed at me. Annie said softly, "Please tell me, Finnick. You can tell me anything." There was something in her voice, maybe the motherly tone she used, that made me break down and tell her. Before I could lose confidence, I burst out," I'm a prostitute, Annie." I felt her stiffen beside me, and waited for a reaction but none came. I went on hurriedly," But it isn't by choice, I promise. After I won the Games, President Snow forced me to sell my body. He said that if I refused, he'd kill someone I loved. Of course, I didn't believe him. When the first offer came, I rejected it. Two days later, my parents and brother were killed. After that, I had no choice. I did what he told me. That's why I'm often in the Capitol. Annie, I really do love you. Like I've loved no one else before. But we can't be together, because if President Snow finds out, he'll…" Here my voice cracked and I was unable to speak. I stared at the floor, unable to face the look of disgust that would surely be thinly disguised on her face. But Annie placed her fingers under my chin and forced it up, so I had no choice but to look right into her eyes. To my surprise and overwhelming relief, there was no disgust there, only sorrow. She said, fully meaning it, "I'm so sorry, Finnick, so sorry." I looked at her tentatively. "You're not… contemptuous?" I said. Now it was her turn to be disbelieving. "No, of course not. I'm not so low. No one deserved what you got. I can imagine what you had to go through. President Snow should be assassinated, the…" Her voice trailed off, apparently unable to find words abusive enough to describe Snow. I laughed with the relief of the situation, and she looked at me in surprise, and then smiled too. Her face suddenly became shy when she asked;" Do you really… love me, Finnick?" I stared deep into her eyes when I answered," Of course. You love me too, don't you?" She giggled and replied," Yeah, who wouldn't love Finnick Odair?" Her words made me feel so giddy and light, that I laughed with happiness. I threw myself back onto the bed, where she joined me. And with whispers and laughter over the pillowcases, we fell asleep in each other's arms.