Disclaimer: Okay, this is the crackiest and second shortest fic I've ever written. I was watching an episode of Family Guy and decided that it's been a while since I've humiliated Perseus Jackson. So I wrote this. You might see some inspiration from that Family Guy episode in here. So, I don't own Family Guy, PJO, prisoners, being shirtless, or grapes.


"Do it again!" the burly prisoner barked.

"Oh, come on! I just did it four times!" the shirtless Percy Jackson pleaded. Percy greatly regretted letting Blackjack stomp through Mr. D's vineyard. Chiron being on Olympus for business, Percy's punishment was Mr. D's decision. He had sent Percy to a prison to entertain the convicts.

"Do it again," one of the other five prisoners ordered, cracking his knuckles.

Percy looked at his girlfriend, Annabeth Chase, who was sitting on a fence and watching. "Annabeth, please help!"

She shook her head. "Sorry, Percy, I can't. I told you not to let Blackjack do that."

The prisoners seem to be closing in, and Percy had no choice. He dropped his jeans, pushed his pectorals together, and started to sing.

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, 'It's better than yours!' Damn right, it's better than yours! I can teach you, but I'd have to char-ar-ar-arge!" Percy was starting to cry.

"Yeah!" a third prisoner said and slapped Percy's ass. Percy used his hands to shield his behind, just in case it happened again.

"Come here!" the first prisoner said and Percy bent over to pick up his pants, but the prisoner said, "Don't do that!"

Percy let out a small squeak before walking over, his pants around his ankles. The prisoner reached out his arm and side-hugged Percy.

"I think I found a boyfriend, boys!" he announced and the other prisoners cheered.

"But I have a girlfriend," Percy whined.

"Aw," the prisoner said and looked up at Annabeth. "You don't mind, do you, girly?"

"Nope," Annabeth said, barely concealing a smirk.

"Annabeth!" Percy cried as the prisoner threw him over his arm and carried Percy away…


Poor Percy! I feel so mean! So, this was meant to be funny, but it's also kind of sad... Oh well. Anyway, Remember to Review and tell me if it made you laugh or cry or smile or groan or whimper...