A Brief Note: If this story seems somewhat familiar....That's because it's simply a rewritten version of the previous Know Your Stars: Mineral Town that I had uploaded before. However, that was removed due to "interactive, chat/script, real person, mst, and etc". Anyways, I knew that a lot of people liked it and so I decided to rewrite it so it would fit the rules and be more humerous.

Oh, I still don't own Harvest Moon, Know Your Stars, or sanity.

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There were many things that Mineral Town was known for, such as the inhabitants, the wildlife, the fresh produce shipped daily, and the ability to connect with A Wonderful Life using a link cable. But out of all of Mineral Town's wonders, the most marvelous of them all was the legend of the Harvest Goddess, despite the fact that almost every single town had one of those legends. Besides, it was a well-known fact in Mineral Town that their legend was the best. It stated that the Goddess lived in Goddess Lake (very original of them, no?) and you could throw offerings to her in there. Those who were pure of heart, or simply those that the Goddess wasn't mad at, could be granted the privilege to gaze upon her visage.

Or maybe Jack truly was insane.

Either way, something was missing from the list of Mineral Town's marvels.

Almost every town had a legend about the Harvest Goddess, but not every town had a Kappa.

This would easily explain why Kappa was so enraged that he wasn't on the list. So he wasn't as good with people as the Harvest Goddess. She had merely had more experience with them. He rarely got any visitors at his pond except for maybe an occasional clueless farmer who would accidently drop something in the pond and then run away screaming as soon as they saw the green oni.

Truth be told, Kappa was sick and tired of everyone teasing him and making fun of him and other stuff like that. But he couldn't come right out and say that to their faces. They would most likely be terrified or bemused.

Desperate for help, Kappa turned to the sprites for aid. They were the smartest beings he knew besides the Goddess, and she didn't take Kappa seriously either. Besides, he and the sprites related to each other in the fact that no one really gave a second thought to either of them. But the sprites, at least, got along with people...More or less.

But during the many chats with tea and sympathetic hugs, Kappa learned that the sprites didn't have it any better then he did. They were always overworked and were paid in flour. They were all pretty sure that 50g was below minimum wage but they were sprites, not humans.

It simply was not just, in any which way shape or fashion. But there seemed to be nothing any of them could do to solve their dilemma.

Well...At least...Nothing legal, as Timid had pointed out.

"Um...Well...I'm not sure it's a very good idea," Timid said, tracing a circle on the wooden floor with his toes.

"What is it?" demanded Bold.

"Well...I was thinking that...We could maybe...um...Tease them back for revenge..." Timid said softly.

They all just stared at the sprite for a while before Aqua clapped their hands once, "That's it! We'll get revenge on them!"

"But, how?" Chef questioned, brining logic up to the table.

The cursed, dreaded and much loathed logic caused silence to fall over the group for a minute or two.

Then Kappa hesitantly spoke. "We could do it at my house in the pond."

"Yeah. And we could use magic to bring 'em there!" called out Staid, his loud voice waking Nappy.

"What are we doing?" the still half-asleep sprite asked.

"Good point," Chef said to Nappy, who was quite confused about all of this having slept thru half the meeting. "Anyone have any suggestions?"

"Um...We could try giving them immense trauma...That is...If anyone else things it's a good idea," Timid suggested sheepishly.

"That might not be such a good idea," Hoggy said before stuffing another muffin in his mouth.

"Humiliating them would be better," Staid added quickly.

"Sounds like fun! What would we do?" Bold asked, an impish grin on his face.

They paused again, much longer this time as it was not easy to come up with a way to greatly humiliate all the citizens of Mineral Town.

"We could reveal all their secrets to the public," Kappa suggested.

The sprites all agreed that it was a good idea but the logic that Chef had brought up before was still there and it pointed out all of the many ways that the plan would not work.

"We could broadcast it on TV, or post it on the internet," Chef suggested to logic, but logic declared that only the farmer had a television and Mineral Town was too outdated to have internet service.

Then Timid stabbed logic in a very violent manner. Silence overtook them all again as they watched logic writhe about on the sprites' table before vanishing from this parody where it never should have been in the first place. The silence, however, remained as they continued to stare at the spot where logic once was. It was Timid who spoke first, twiddling their fingers around the knife, "Um...Was I not supposed to do that? Because...Well...You see...I'm not sorry in the slightest."

"I don't mind," Bold said proudly and the others chorused in their agreement.

With logic gone, their planning went by a lot faster and by the end of the week, they knew exactly what they were going to do. The following month was spent in preparation. The sprites went looking for any secrets hidden by the residents of Mineral Town, while Kappa set to redecorating his house to provide a sufficient interrogation room.

During the Fireworks Festival, they shared their successes with one another and felt deep satisfaction in the fact that it would not be long before they finally got their long awaited revenge.

Well...Technically they hadn't been waiting that long for that moment to arrive...But they had been waiting for a way to show their harassers what they were made of. Other then pixels that is....

And first on their list of victims was Jack. His name being the second that they drew out of Chef's cookie jar. The first one had been the number for the pizza place and they most certainly did not want to do anything to hurt the pizza place.

But Jack couldn't cook good pizza and therefore was much less important. Besides, he overworked the sprites the most and he had hit Kappa directly on the head when he had thrown a cucumber in the lake.

Yesh, Jack was in for a world of pain....

This story is purely for comedic effect only.

Sorry for offending anyone's favorite charecters and I hope that this is remotely funny.

Please review. Any and all flames shall be used to help Timid make a new knife.