I woke up...or had I already been awake? I couldn't remember, the night had been so long. I didn't know if 3 minutes would qualify as sleep or not. All I knew is that my eyes were open- as they had been the whole night.

His arm draped over me lazily, like a vine hugging a tree, always there, gripping it tighter than you think. It looked natural. If you took a snapshot I figure that this is what a couple is supposed to look like in bed. Snuggling together, love oozing from their bodies. Soooo cute, right? But that's not what it was. That's not how it felt. He had to think to put his arm around me and it wasn't natural at all. When we first started dating I was lucky if I didn't have to ask for a hug. He was always too shy, too scared. As if I was still his brothers not his.

There was no love oozing from my body. Some- but not enough for it to ooze. Neither from him. I knew Jeremaih loved me. He said it and I felt it- I really did. Just not as much, not as fully, not as...real. But maybe the way I felt before him was a way you could feel with first loves. Maybe it was only a way you feel with no...experience? But the thing was, Conrad never said it. He never told me he loved me. He never did a sweet romantic gesture and said it to me. I just felt it. I just knew it. It was just there. It was crazy and questionable. One second I was positive he was the one and the next I hated him with everything inside of me. But wasn't that it? Isn't that how it is supposed to be? Crazy and stupid and unexplainable. But there. I never felt that. Never with Jeremaih.

But that wasn't important. I was marrying him tomorrow. Marrying him. That's what I wanted. That's what I wanted. That was the dream. That was the plan. I was supposed to marry a Fisher boy. Isn't that was Susanah wanted? Isn't that how it should be?

I glanced at my hand, which was where his was resting. My engagement ring sparkled from the faint moonlight creeping in from the old windows in the bedroom. It was beautful it truly was. It was just the house. I guess being there just brought some memories. Like I was really going to even think about touching Conrad? The bad guy. The one who broke my heart. Jeremiah was the good one. The one who waiteid for me, the one who needed me. That's the thing that got me about his brother. Conrad knew who he wanted to be and he was so worried about trying to be the good person, he made himself bad, or made people around him feel bad. Well that was a thing too. Conrad wasn't bad. The things he did, the things he said, those could be horrible-and they were. But I could never- and still- make him out as the villian. Before and after my wedding, Conrad would always be my prince. My superhero.

I glanced at the ring once more, blocking my thoughts of Conrad out like unwanted noise trickling through my ears. It was fine. I loved him he loved me. There was a wedding going on. Why question it?