AN: This story starts off in episode 25 in what most people call 'The Greatest Gay Anime Scene Ever!' (Which it is) This time, though, I gender-switched Raito, so you technically can't call this version gay. It'd be more... what's that word again?... oh yeah, Straight! This is the gender-switched version of what should have happened on those stairs in episode 25 and also a fan version of how the series could have ended. LxRaito. Sad then happy fluff! Kissing involved. Warning: Might make you (want to) cry! Spoiler Alert! for Episode 25 and 32 of Death Note! Includes sad character deaths...
*~*~*~*~* -These indicate major events in the story happening (death) or differing amounts of time passing (10 minutes - 6 years)
* My Angel *
My angel, beautiful being
The only person I am seeing...
She was sitting on the stairs, he was crouched at her feet. They were both on the staircase at the headquarters, and both were soaking wet because they'd been outside in the rain.
The man and woman both loved each other, but neither showed it. They only admired one another in thoughts, never words. They'd never been on a date, or even worked up the courage to ask the other if they wanted to go on one. Both just pretended to be friends, but they didn't know that their so-called 'friend' actually liked them back. I'd been a hard experience for the both of them.
Getting back to the story, he was trying to coax her into allowing him to massage her foot. She was hesitant and shy at first, and tried to get away, but struggled. She then eventually agreed "Fine, do what you want." she said, still inwardly hesitant, and it showed in her voice.
As he grabbed her foot, she tensed. His hands were very cold from being outside in the rain. He didn't move, he just stayed in place holding her foot. He was looking down, as if he was thinking. She was startled as the water in the young man's hair dripped onto her foot, she was also distracted from her thoughts.
The young woman looked down at the man, he didn't move. He looked ashamed and sad at the same time, but still very handsome in her eyes. After some thinking through, she grabbed her towel that she'd set to the side, leaned down and dried his dripping hair, saying softly, "Here, you're still soaking wet." He almost looked up to look into her eyes as she pulled back, but stopped himself, and so his eyes fell back downward.
He wanted to, but he wasn't sure how carry out and express what he'd been feeling for her for so long. But for the first time in the man's entire life, he decided to take action without being 100% certain. He crawled up to sit beside her and gently kissed her.
My angel, I love you so
Promise me you'll never let go...
He wasn't quite certain what was going through her mind as she didn't move, but once she returned the kiss, it was clear to him: She loved him too. And he also knew that as soon as their lips made contact, he was kissing the beautiful angel that was the real her, not the murderous demon that selfishly buried itself into her very soul. Each one put all of themselves completely into their first kiss. But sadly, they both knew that their first kiss could very easily be their last.
He was to expire soon. And the demon inside of her was to blame.
My angel, life with you has been much fun
But to escape the demon, you must run...
The kiss was innocent, it was without tongue. They put every horrible emotion that they felt and expressed it in the kiss. They leaned back slowly, ending their first kiss. She tried to look into his onyx eyes, but found that she couldn't. Looking into his eyes was like touching a hot iron, looking too long would get you burned.
They were just quiet for a few seconds, then the young woman leaned back in for another kiss. Their second one was deeper than the first. The young couple closed their eyes as they felt the hunger, want, desperation, and need attached to the second kiss. And this one wasn't so innocent as he slipped his tongue out onto her lower lip, asking for permission to enter. She quickly granted it, excited to feel him inside her mouth. The man found that his hands moved on their own to hold her face and pull her closer, deepening the kiss even more. He decided that that was as far as he would go, if she wanted more, she could decide. But he would never force anything onto her.
The young girl, on the other hand, was thinking and observing. She slightly opened her chestnut eyes to study his countenance. His onyx eyes were still closed, but the dark bags under his eyes were still very visible. Even though his always emotion-filled eyes were closed, she could still tell that if they weren't, she would see nothing but a purely helpless and utterly desperate man. A man desperate to live longer. He knew. About everything. About her, and the demon. The same demon that saw that he was in the way of it's plans for the rest of the world. And so, it selfishly surpassed judgment onto him without mercy.
He would be eliminated from the world...
Just so it could grow stronger, take over her being, and rule the new world...
After their lungs became too oxygen-deprived, they had to break apart. Onyx and chestnut eyes were able to lock, his eyes were no longer burning. His hands remained on her soft cheeks, he felt the tingling feeling in his fingertips. Both were lost in the others eyes, the eyes that they never wanted to be separated from. Seeing the sadness and, in his, fear for what was to come.
The man spoke, "It'll be lonely won't it?" he sadly smiled, almost in an attempt to assure her she'll be okay once he's gone. He didn't know that she already knew of what would soon happen, so he added, "You and I will be parting ways soon." as he gently rubbed his thumbs along her soft cheeks in a loving manner. But she already knew. He smiled at her, again sadly, then gently kissed her forehead.
To her, the world seemed to be going in fast-forward as she saw her love's elderly caretaker and father-figure collapse on the monitor. She heard nothing but her love's voice as the lights in the room turned red and the words 'Data Deletion' appeared on the monitor screens. Some strangely hopeful part of her thought that maybe there was still time to save him, but she felt her heart sink as she heard him stop in the middle of his sentence.
"Everyone, the Shiniga-" He froze, his heart hurt, then it stopped momentarily. Her world slowed down almost to a halt as she saw him fall from his chair. She caught him just before he hit the floor, and she held him in her arms.
Both knew exactly what was happening...
But neither would accept it...
He clutched her shoulder in his hand and just stared at her. She felt the tears come to her eyes once she saw the pained look in his. A tear didn't travel two inches on her cheek before a pale, shaking hand wiped it away as gently as it could. But it only made her feel worse as she felt him struggle to keep his hand on her cheek once it started to shake more violently. At this point, tears were coming down her face like a waterfall as she failed to choke back her sobbing.
My angel, don't you cry
I know this passing for us is not goodbye...
She brought her hand up to the one on her cheek, held it, turned her head towards it, and softly kissed his shaking palm. His hand then grabbed her wrist and put it on his chest, so she too could feel his final heartbeats.
His life seemed to flash before his eyes like a fast slide show. His childhood, watching his house in England burn to the ground when he was 5, meeting his now deceased caretaker, living with him at an orphanage, learning to pilot a helicopter, becoming a detective, choosing his most difficult case, meeting the chief of police's oldest daughter, falling for her, his first kiss - which he'd experienced just minutes ago, the sensational look in her bright, chestnut eyes, and now slowly dying here in her arms.
And what he recalled the most was how the two of them had spent so much time in each others presence, and how he enjoyed every second of it. Her every movement was like a show to him. He loved how every emotion looked on her, and how she showed each of those emotions differently. Happiness was always accompanied by a bright smile and easy, flowing movements. Anger, which was his favorite, always showed him the real her. Not that she was an angry individual, it's just that the things that she'd unconsciously tell him always had two interpretations. One that meant she hated him, the other that meant she loved him to no end. This would be the reason why he'd always teased her, to make her angry and hear what she'd say. Sleepiness usually happened when she would overwork herself and fall asleep on the desk. Her hair tousled and her face would always be peaceful. He noticed this when they were handcuffed and shared a bed together, her breathing was always calming to him, as well as everything else about her.
My angel, how you shined
You took my breath away every time...
His heart slowed, and she could feel it just as much as he could. And in the midst of slowly fading, he looked at how beautiful his angel was, even when crying. He felt blessed and honored to have met her, worked with her, and to have even known her. He never felt that he had a reason to be alive, but once he saw this beautiful girl, he knew that the soul-purpose of his life was to simply meet and die in the arms of his now weeping angel.
My angel, I'm so glad I get to see your face
Before I move on to a Holy place...
The man felt a sensation of floating, he felt light-headed. As he stared at his angel, he saw a bright light behind her, illuminating her, and he knew he was almost gone. As the invisible light almost completely consumed her and himself, he very, very slowly closed his eyes, his weeping angel being the last person, the last thing, he ever saw. Her clutch on his back and her hand on his last heartbeat being the last things he ever felt. Her crying out, not his alias, but his real name was the last thing he ever heard as she felt him go limp in her arms.
My angel, I hate that we are separated
It is the one part of dying I truly hated...
Several months after the funeral, she was still grieving. Little did the woman know that he was always watching her. He'd watched everything. How, in the beginning, everyone she worked with tried to console her, and how she put on a happy face for show, but was still crying on the inside. From seeing that, he came to the conclusion: The worst tears are the ones that you can't see.
He'd watch her from above while she'd drive home in her car every evening from work, and how she'd often have to pull over to the side of the road, that's how badly she'd usually break down and cry. When she would eventually regain her composure, she'd continue on her way home. She'd always stay in the driveway for a few minutes to calm down so her mother wouldn't see the fact that she'd been crying evident on her face. It is not necessary to say, but see fell into a deep depression.
Every now and then, a man would come up to her. And from there, it'd be a routine. They'd typically compliment her on her hair or her eyes, then say that they'd noticed her and how she stood out from the crowd. Then after all the sweet-talking, they'd invite her to some social event such as a party or a get-together. Her answers started out complex, "I apologize, but I can't be with another man. There is only one man I belong with, but he's gone away for a while. To me, it'd be considered cheating just to get to know you, and I'm not unfaithful. Especially not to him... I love him very much."
The man she'd be talking to at the time would say he was sorry, then apologize for asking her in the first place. Then as time went on, and another man would show up and ask, she'd reply quite simply, "No." and that was that. Again, he had seen this, and he was happy and unhappy at the same time. Unhappy because she was unhappy, but happy that she'd uttered the words 'I love him' and she was referring to him.
About a month later, she'd moved out of her parent's place and had rented an apartment. The sudden move surprised many of her friends and family. No one seemed to be able to figure out why she had moved out to begin with. Maybe it was because she wanted to be alone, maybe it was because she wanted to cry in peace, or maybe she didn't want someone to find out about how long she'd been crying and then tell her it was time to get over it. As for the definite reason, she just needed to be alone so she could clear her head of thoughts of him. She knew it would be in her best benefit to forget him.
But she didn't want to forget about him, but on one dark and rainy evening she couldn't cry. Her eyes would well up, but no tears would fall. Even when she'd think about holding him, or when his eyes slowly closed: Nothing. She came to the same conclusion as he did: The worst tears are the ones that you can't see.
She always knew he was somehow there, even when she'd go months and months without thinking about him. It's not that she tried to not think of him, it was just that succeeding his detective name had served to keep her mind on other things. It served as a distraction.
But both knew she wasn't truly happy...
It was now her time, and she was at her death place. It had been 6 years after his death, the 6 most painful years of her life, and she was more than ready for them to end. She was lying on a set of stairs in an old warehouse, bleeding very badly. She'd been running from the police. The demon momentarily took control of her words and actions, and apparently angered them, she'd been shot at least three times. Her right arm was completely useless and nonfunctional, and she thought that if, by some miracle, she did somehow survive being here, it would need to be amputated.
She lay there for a while, but she didn't know how long. Her sense of time wasn't something one could depend on anymore. She was in horrible pain because of her gunshot wounds, and so she tried her best not to move. Her first thought was to try to sleep, and if she was lucky, she wouldn't wake up. Eyes half-lidded, and she was just about to close them and sleep.
She felt her chest tighten, and her heartbeat became irregular. Heart attack... Was it coincidence? Her cause of death would be the same as his? And she wondered if the parasitic demon that consumed her body, mind, and soul had grown strong enough that it didn't need her as a host anymore. And was her heart attack it's doing? Or was it the God of Death attached to the demon and notebook? But either way, it was still going to result the same way. Death.
She looked at her surroundings, it would be nice to remember the part of the earth that she would see before dying. Not much, just storage areas and stock boxes. But, was that? No, it couldn't be. Him? Her eyes must've been playing tricks on her, but she saw her love standing 10 feet away. She could clearly see his face, it hadn't changed one bit from what she remembered. And he was smiling. Reassurance overcame her. He was smiling, that had to be good. The God of Death had always told her that she would go to neither Heaven nor Hell, but she would end up in Nothingness.
But that was before she met him, and he was full of nothing but heavenly grace and kindness, and his soul was pure and clean. Maybe he'd convinced a higher being to let her be with him. She could never be so selfish as to drag him along to Nothingness with her, she'd much rather go to the Kingdom of Heaven with him.
He never thought she'd looked more vulnerable, but at the same time, so innocently beautiful. He would be with her again, finally. He and his father-figure had seen Heaven and were both blown away by how magnificent it was. Pearly gates, golden streets, no growing old or getting sick. It was a gorgeous place to be, and he couldn't wait to show it to her, or to finally walk with her hand-in-hand in the beautiful kingdom. That was his girl, and he couldn't wait to hold her once again. He actually felt a sudden desire to hold her in his arms just as she did, but he was dead, so he'd just have to wait patiently.
She took in a long shaky breath, then let it out. She closed her eyes just as he did, carefully and slowly. And that was it. The woman was now the same as the man. Dead.
She saw a small, white light and instantly bolted to it, excited to see her love again. She heard his echoing voice call out her name as she ran closer, the light getting bigger. The young woman now felt warmth and comfort as she was consumed by the light. She no longer felt pain or the thick blood on her skin, she was now clean and healthy. Picture perfect. The girl was now running on what looked to be a white tiled floor. She stopped her sprinting and looked down and saw that she was now dressed in a white, bubbly, strapless, dress. It looked like something she would pick out for her wedding, that's how beautiful she thought it was. The woman looked at it more closely and saw that it had lace on the hem, again, something she would've picked for her wedding. "Where did this come from?" she wondered out outloud.
In her heart, she honestly questioned why a higher being would let her experience being in such an amazing place, but those thoughts were swept away as she saw the immense gate standing before her. She just looked up at it, completely awestruck. The gate was absolutely huge. It was gold on the rods and pearly white on the center-front and had swirled engravings on it in silver.
The gate opened for her, squeaking a little at first. When the woman walked in, she saw a crowd of people just standing and waiting. She looked closer and noticed that some had a few of her features. Some with her chestnut eye color, or the same shade of brown in their hair as hers, or similar facial structure. The women in the crowd were wearing dresses too, the men wearing what she could only describe as white dress shirts and white trousers. She could only recognize her father and great-grandfather, he'd passed away when she was 13 and her father more recently. When she saw them, she figured that the rest of crowd must have been her deceased relatives.
Suddenly, at her side was a beautiful woman, she told the young girl she was her guardian angel. The beautiful woman told her about how she had passed away before the young girl was born, and how God himself had assigned the angel to watch over her. The young girl had received many hugs, but the only one who she really hoped to see was the man she loved. In the corner of her eye, in a bright light, she saw him. She saw him! And it was then, in that amazing split second, did see hear church bells and a chorus of angels.
My angel, now you see, I've waited for you
Because I know in my heart that it's true...
The crowd of relatives seemed to know something was up, and they moved to the side so that she could walk to him. But instead, she lifted her dress and ran to him, it'd been 6 long years of waiting for both of them, and so, he ran to her aswell. Time was, again, not on their side, because it went agonizingly slow. So slow that they seemed to be running to each other in slow motion. But that never stopped them before, and wasn't about to stop them. Wild horses couldn't stop the two from seeing each other.
As the couple drew closer, the sound of the bells and the voices of the angels got louder and louder. The man usually never ran, his personality was sluggish most of the time, but he didn't care. Nothing mattered to either of them anymore but seeing the person they were running to. Neither could fight back the tears of joy that came to their eyes, and it was at the instant, the moment they embraced, they felt happiness flood back into their veins for the first time in 6 years. They threw their arms around each other, and they didn't move much after that.
Their arms kept patting or rubbing the others back. He whispered in her ear in a choked-up voice, "... I love you." He repeated and repeated that same sentence in her ear as he ran a hand on the back of her head, and each time he repeated it, he broke down even more, "... I love you... sniff... I love you so much... " They pulled away and planted at least thirty hard, passionate kisses on each others lips, the emotions of sadness and pain for the losses they encountered were washed away, and were replaced with familiar and almost forgotten feelings of happiness.
Then they broke away and looked into each others eyes. The eyes that they both missed so much, the eyes they were both sick of not seeing. They'd held each others faces in their hands, refamiliarizing themselves of the feeling of each others soft skin. She felt his thick, soft, ebony hair. It no longer felt matted or tangled, and it was soft beyond belief. He was remembering the tingling feeling in his body where ever they made contact. It was wonderful, because they were both home, they were home to each other. He was her home and she was his home.
Only when the woman saw a glowing figure behind the man did she break eye-contact. Some strange feeling inside told her it was God. Her love turned to see Him when she thought outloud, "That's God... isn't it?"
Her love smiled, still holding her, nodded and said, "Yes, my sweetie-pie, that is God." he then leaned over and kissed her cheek, unable to resist, and he didn't care.
God spoke, "I have not seen such a powerful connection between two of My children like this in quite a long, long time. Young lady, I hope you know what a wonderful man I've blessed you with, he himself told Me how deeply he loves you, and it is unmeasurable. And so, I destroyed the demon that attached itself to you, and I did that because I love you. And also, welcome home, My daughter." God smiled.
She smiled back and said, "Thank you, Lord." and her countenance showed that she meant it with all of her heart. She tried to wipe off some of her joyful tears.
Her love looked to God and agreed with her, "Yes, thank you Lord," He then looked at his love, then back to God, "for everything you did for us." he added.
"You are both much more than welcome, My children. Now, I'll leave you two to yourselves, I'm sure My son has something he would like to do." God smiled at His children, then turned and walked away.
"Oh, thank you again for reminding me, Lord." the man replied, then looked at his girl.
"Reminding you of what?" she asked in curiosity and confusion.
The man simply held out his hand to her and said, "Would you like to take a walk with me? I'd like to show you this place." he smiled.
She flashed a smile back at him, "Sure," and she took his hand. Their fingers intertwined. And they walked together hand-in-hand in the Kingdom of Heaven. They did this early in the morning every day for all eternity, just as they were destined to. And the walking never got old, and the love never died. Only got stronger with time.
My angel, now that we meet again
Let us walk together, hand-in-hand, in the Kingdom of Heaven
Forever...
The best love is the kind that weakens the soul, plants fire in our hearts, and brings peace to our minds. That's what Raito Yagami has given to L Lawliet, that's what L hopes to give to Raito forever.
I love you,
My Angel
- - AN: Sad in the beginning and middle. Happily rejoicing at the end. I love a happy ending! I tried to make the part where they were running towards each other really emotional, but probably failed. Sorry if you're kinda sensitive about L in the beginning and cried. T_T I know my one friend cried after reading this. Sorry Charlotte! Oh, and please don't read this if you're an atheist! Lol! XD
Fun Fact Time!
Fun Fact #1: I got the 'He was her home and she was his home.' thing from "The Notebook" when old Noah is talking to his and Allie's children and says, "... your mother is my home." I just rearranged the words a little to try and make it more original.
Fun Fact #2: Another thing from "The Notebook" is the last paragraph where L and Raito's names are revealed for the first time in the story. "The best love is the kind that weakens the soul... "(and so on) is part of a letter that Noah writes to Allie, I just put in L and Raito's names.
Fun Fact #3: I envisioned a crowd of relatives waiting for Raito in Heaven after hearing a Dane Cook joke. He said it's probably like being greeted at an airport! XD I love the part where he laughs and says, "Guess who's dead, sucker? C'mon, float over here!"
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my story. Thank you for reading!
