So this is set in the same universe as my other fic, Friends. I don't even know how this story came into being. Also, my AU Steve likes Harry Potter. That is all.


Steve was woken by the touch of metal on his throat.

His blue eyes flew open, taking in the sight of a small, dark figure bent over him. Before the blond could even panic, the figure spoke.

"Relax, I'm not here to kill you."

He recognized that voice.

"Loki? What the hell are you doing?"Steve sat up, shock replaced with indignation. "How did you even get in?" Loki sat down on the foot of the bed, knife in hand.

"Your window was unlocked, Steve. You should check that more often." The blond looked over at the clock, which read 2:34 in glowing blue letters.

"My window doesn't matter, why were you holding a blade to my neck at two in the morning?!" He spoke in a whisper, not wanting to wake his mother. This scene wouldn't be fun to explain if she heard a noise and came in.

"The knife was for shock value. I've come to give you a warning."

Oh god. This better be important.

"You're in a relationship with my brother."

I kind of knew that. He's thirteen, why does he even have a knife? How did he manage to sneak out at this time? Should I tell Thor about this?

"And if you happen to break his heart..."

Who does this kid think I am?

Loki leaned back over him, voice dropping to a harsh whisper, surprisingly intimidating in the dark. "...I will cut yours out."

I'm calling Bruce and Natasha about this later. They'll believe me. Well, Tony probably would. Everybody would, actually. Maybe they'll pitch in for a therapist.

"You know, 'cause he really likes you, and I'd hate to get charged with murder. You know what happens to people like me in prison."

The black-haired boy got up, walking back towards the window. "And don't tell Thor I was here." He tapped the blade of the knife. "He doesn't know I have this. " Loki swung one leg over the windowsill. "Have a nice day." He said, before disappearing from view.

Steve watched the window for a few minutes, half-expecting Loki to return with another threat. The skinny blond then opened his nightstand drawer, pulling out the Hershey bar he kept for emergencies.

Is this how Harry felt after getting attacked by Dementors?

He tore off the wrapper, taking a bite.

Tony's right. Loki is a total future serial killer. God save us all.