I don't own Torchwood, and hopefully never will. I'd butcher it by accident. However, at least three of my friends are capable of destroying the place it's based in - if they had the funds and could get to the other side of the world. Yes, wiltingflowersandpinkribbons, one of them is you, one IS the whovian and the other is the mad scientist. Spunky, i think you'd be more likely to invade while they're filming than to blow it up in retaliation to Exit Wounds.

The Cockroach

Owen looked up from his current autopsy as he heard a shrill scream from the main part of the Hub. He ran upstairs, that scream was definitely Gwen's.

Upon arriving, he found Gwen standing, frozen, with a hand over her mouth, staring at something in front of Tosh. Tosh was holding a spray can, frantically spraying something on Gwen's desk. It was a blue can. Mortein's red, though, Owen thought in confusion.

"Cockroach," Gwen squeaked, as Tosh continued her bursts of spraying.

"Where is it?

"It's in the printer!"

"What's that?" he asked, as he walked towards Gwen's printer, pointing to the blue spray can in Tosh's hand.

"Aerogard," Gwen answered simply.

"Tosh, why are spraying a cockroach with Aerogard?" He directed this to the frantically spraying woman.

"It was the first spray thing I saw, and it made it go all wobbly." Tosh continued chasing the cockroach, now away from Gwen's desk.

"That won't do anything," Owen said as he headed for some Mortein, sitting on a shelf seven metres away. He came back, Tosh put the blue lid back on the Aerogard as he sprayed the bug with Mortein. Gwen finally moved, sitting back at her desk, but Tosh stayed where she was, carefully eyeing the cockroach as it died.

"It's still moving."

Owen gave a long-suffering sigh as he got the Mortein again. He sprayed some more on the poor thing, and asked Tosh if it was dead enough yet. She nodded silently, going back to her computer.

As Owen replaced the Mortein on the shelf, he spied Ianto leaning against a wall, smirking at him. Owen walked over to Ianto, glaring at him.

"Let me guess, you put it there?"

"Jack thought that they'd keep their cool, and get the Mortein in a second, or else ignore it. I bet him no less than 100 quid that they'd need Dr. Harper to rescue them."

"Why didn't you bet 200? It was a sure win."

"Jack started to get worried when I upped it to 10. By the time I'd reached 50, he was sweating. He wouldn't go higher than 100, not after I told him that it had to come from his pocket, not Torchwood's funds."

"Seeing as I helped, would you go halves?"

"No."

Jack rushed in from outside, looking all worried about the girls. "What's wrong? Someone screamed."

"You owe me 100 quid."

Jack's face fell as he realised what had happened. Grumbling, he handed over two fifties before going back outside.

A/N: Aerogard is a mosquito repellent. Mortein is an insect/spider spray.