Tell Her
Months after Sirius dies, Hermione still hasn't gotten over his death and no one can understand why. Remus believes he knows why & the letter he finds on his pillows one night, only confirms his beliefs.
A/N: Okay, so I know I'm supposed to be working on other stories, but I heard a song tonight that made me cry my eyes out and I had to write a fic. for it. It took me forever to write this because I was listening to the song on repeat and I kept crying. lol. I hope you like it. Listen to "Tell Her" by The Age Of Information, which is the song that I used in this story. It's on youtube. Very beautiful song.
Harry kept a careful eye on Hermione since the battle at The Department of Mysteries. She seemed to be taking Sirius' death worse than anyone, including himself. And no one, no matter how hard they tried, could figure out why. The two didn't seem to be so close nor were they complete strangers. They were aware of the others presence, but had they not been pulled together by Harry and the others, the two of them most likely would have never given each other a second glance. It wasn't that they didn't get along, they actually got along quite well, they were just simply…different.
"Tell her she is all that's beautiful.
Tell her everything's my fault.
Tell her this is not what I had planned.
But tell her I am moving on.
Tell her love will come around, someday…"
Remus walked past Harry, who seemed to have gained a statue-like quality in the doorway of the library. He watched as Harry studied Hermione, trying to figure out what was wrong. Hermione, who seemed not to notice him, sat at the window seat in the library, her knees pulled to her chest and her head resting on them, staring out the window. He pulled his eyes away and started up the steps. He stopped, looking back into the living room, with sad eyes. He sighed, a deep frown formed on his face. Shaking his head in worry, he climbed the steps. Reaching his bedroom, he closed the door behind him and fell back onto his bed, guilt and worry laying heavy on his heart. He sighed and covered his face with his hands.
"Please tell her not to cry.
I never meant for love to leave her cold tonight.
Please tell her that I tried to spare her all my lies.
Tell her something…"
The others hadn't a clue as to why Hermione was taking the death of Sirius Black so hard, but he believed that it was because, while the two Gryffindors let on that they were indifferent about each other, they had cared for each other very deeply. While in the presence of the others, they were careful not to show it, but Remus knew his best friend and ex-student well enough to know something was going on between them. While to the others, their eye contact seemed innocent and seemingly appropriate, to him, their looks at each other spoke volumes. He had, on more than one occasion, caught Sirius watching the young witch with tender eyes and a soft smile, but the look quickly vanished. He noticed, while subtle and seemingly accidental, their touches brought a flush to Hermione's skin. He had also noticed, the slight protectiveness radiating from the Animegus whenever Ron and the young girl would get into a row.
"Tell her I am lost in misery.
Tell her I have lost my mind.
Tell her love was such a mystery.
Tell her tunnels end in light.
Tell her love will come around, someday…"
His hands fell to his sides and he stared up at the cracked and chipped ceiling above him. His suspicions of the two had only been fueled one night when it was hard to sleep. He had laid in bed tossing and turning, trying to sleep when he heard a floorboard creak out in the hallway. Thinking it was simply his imagination he turned over and finally succeeded in falling asleep. An hour later he was wide awake again. He climbed out of bed, ready for a nightcap hoping it would help him sleep and descended the stairs. He had just turned the corner when he noticed a flickering glow coming from the library. Knowing who was in there, he knew he should have left it, but he needed to confirm his suspicions. Peering in, he saw Sirius sitting on the couch, Hermione sitting beside him, her head on his shoulder and their arms wrapped around each other. They watched the fire dancing in the fireplace and talked quietly. With his senses heightened due to the full moon closing in, he knew right away that they were talking about the war that was coming. Hermione's tears glistened from the light of the fire and he could see her visibly shaking. His friend, as he always did, put on a brave front, knowing he had to be strong for the fragile girl in his arms. She told him in hushed whispers that she was terrified. Terrified she would lose someone she loved. Terrified that they would lose. Terrified that she would die.
"But please tell her not to cry.
I never meant for love to leave her cold tonight.
Please tell her that I tried to spare her all my lies.
Tell her something…"
Her words echoed in his ears now, 'I don't want to lose you…' Remus sighed as he sat up and held his face in his hands. While the others hadn't noticed the subtle hints they gave each other over the months living at 12 Grimmauld Place, nor their secret meetings at night, Remus had witnessed every smile, every accidental touch, every blush, every look. Remus had witnessed, while, he assumed, it had all started off innocently enough, the two of them fall in love.
"I cannot say all that my heart longs to tell her.
That nothing can change.
That all of these words are not enough…"
His heart ached and he shook as tears forced their way past his closed eyelids and landed heavily in the palms of his hands. He knew that, while they may not have said it, the two of them loved each other far more than anyone would ever know. His tears became a steady stream as he realized that another reason she was taking it so hard was because they never told each other and the last time they had spoken, they had fought. Remus felt a pain in his heart for his ex-student. Her love had died, never hearing him tell her that he loved her and never tell him, that she loved him.
"Tell her she is all that's beautiful.
Tell her everything's my fault…"
Once he had regained control of his emotions, he fall back onto the bed once more, his arms falling outstretched on either side. His hand hit his pillows, only instead of the soft cloth covered feathers, he felt paper. He turned his head and furrowed his brow. He stared at it a moment, knowing for a fact that it hadn't been there when he first came into his room. Sitting up, he picked up the paper. It was a plane white envelope with his name scribbled on it in messy script, the ink still wet. His eyes widened, recognizing the writing to be the penmanship of Sirius Black. He turned the envelope over and pulled out the letter inside. Reading it, he felt tears forcing their way out but he did nothing to stop them this time. Sirius knew. He knew that Sirius had figured them out. He had been watching them this entire time.
Standing up, he walked back to the library. Harry had vacated his spot in the doorway and Hermione still sat at the window. Walking over to her, the letter in his hand, he silently pulled her into a hug, which she momentarily fought before breaking down and wrapping her arms around him. Closing his eyes, he lowered his lips close to her ear. "He loved you Hermione."
"I never told him." She whispered.
Remus opened his eyes and looked at the letter folded in his hand. He felt his tears falling again and he closed his eyes, pulling her closer. "He knew."
"Please tell her not to cry.
I never meant for love to leave her cold tonight.
Please tell her that I tried to spare her all my lies.
Tell her something…"
