Author's Note: I got really back into Pandora Hearts recently and I love all the chapters where Break is remembering Shelly. So this oneshot was born. Anyway, as always I would like to say I'm sorry if anyone is too OOC. Hope you all enjoy! =)
Shelly Rainsworth loved the gardens. The colors, the smells, the feeling of being one with nature were all so intoxicating to her. If she could be out in the gardens everyday then she would. Sadly her sickness and weak body kept her in more than she wanted. Well, not just her body but also her mother.
She was a 25 year old woman, a mother and a divorcee, and yet she was still treated like a child herself. Her mother, the Dutchess of the Rainsworth Dukedom, Sheryl Rainsworth, hovered over her constantly or had someone else to hover over her constantly to make sure nothing happened to her throughout the day. So even when Shelly wanted to do something simple as go into the gardens for a walk someone had to be with her.
"Mother, please I really don't need a valet with me to walk around the gardens," said Shelly.
"Yes you do, Shelly," said Sheryl as she walked around her room, preparing for a meeting, "You just got over a high fever a few days ago and I don't want something to happen and you faint in the garden and we not find you until someone just happens to past by. Now I've already told Johnathon to accompany you so-"
"Mother," began Shelly, "if I'm going to have to have a valet accompany then I would like to choose who it would be."
"Oh and who would you like to accompany you?" asked Sheryl, though she already knew what her daughter's answer would be.
"Xerxes," she said, a smile on her face.
"Honey," began Sheryl, "I've got him as one of the valets to come with me and Sharon and Reim to go meet Rufus."
"Mother, Johnathon can take his place," Shelly said.
Sheryl sighed. She wasn't necessarily to please with her daughter's growing affection for the valet. That's why she had tried to keep him busy so her daughter and him wouldn't spend so much time together. "Shelly, please, he's already prepared to head out I'm sure."
"Well then let's be quick! I'll go find Xerxes and you can go find Johnathon and we'll just tell them they've been switched for the day," said Shelly, making her way to the door.
"Shelly," began Sheryl but Shelly quickly headed out the door before her mother could protest.
"Actually I'll go tell both so you can finish getting ready! Good day, mother!" she shouted.
So, after telling Johnathon of the switch, Shelly quickly ran down the hall to the room of Xerxes Break. When she arrived she found him re-wrapping the bandages on his eyes. "Knock, knock," she said as she stepped in.
Xerxes jumped at her arrival. He then bowed. "Good morning, Shelly-sama."
"Good morning, Xerxes," she said as she took a seat on his bed.
"Um," began Xerxes, "is there something you need, Shelly-sama? I'm about to head out with the Duchess to the Barma estate."
"Actually you aren't," said Shelly, "the plans have changed."
"Changed?" he asked, "How so?"
She hopped up and gave him a cheerful grin. "You're coming with me for a walk around the garden." With that she quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door toward the garden.
When they arrived outside, Shelly took a deep breath, taking in everything around her. "Aren't the gardens so wonderful, Xerxes?" she said.
Xerxes shook his head. "They are indeed, Shelly-sama."
She squeezed his hand. "Come on, Xerxes." With that they began walking through the garden, hand-in-hand. It was silent as they walked but it was a good silence. Not an awkward one but one that came with just enjoying each others company.
As they kept walking around Shelly stopped when she noticed some small yellow flowers. "Freesias!" she shouted as she broke away from Xerxes and squatted down to admire the flowers.
"Are these your favorite, Shelly-sama?" he asked as he came up behind her to look at the flowers.
Shelly smiled as she stroked the petals of the flowers. "I guess. They mean 'childish'. Something I wish I could be sometimes."
"What do you mean by that Shelly-sama?" he asked.
Shelly sighed. "I wish that I could be childish and carefree sometimes. These duties and expectations and such are...are just a lot. And I've had them my whole life. It'd be good to just-just let my hair down and run around this garden and have a little fun!"
"Then do it, Shelly-sama," said Xerxes and Shelly just looked back over her shoulder at him.
"What?" she asked.
"Do it, Shelly-sama. Just run around this garden, relax, be carefree. You deserve to," he said, smiling.
She smiled back at him. She was surprised that he was the encouraging her to do this but was glad. She quickly hopped up and grabbed his hand. "Do it with me, Xerxes!"
"Wh-what?" he asked, looking at her confused.
"Come run around the garden, play with me! Let's be children!" she shouted.
"Shelly-sama, I don't know if that would be such a good idea. I really shouldn't be playing around," he said.
"Come on, Xerxes! If you don't come play then I won't," she said, puffing out her cheeks in a pout.
Xerxes stared down at the woman in front of him and sighed. "Ok then."
Shelly gave him a big smile and a big hug. "Oh thank you, Xerxes!" When she let him go she quickly untied her hair, letting her long caramel brown locks fall over her back.
"Let's go play!" she shouted as she began twirling around the garden.
"Play what?" he asked.
"Anything!" she said.
And so they ran and played and laughed like children and Shelly had never felt so happy, nor had she seen Xerxes look so happy. Shelly had never had a normal childhood and not just because she was the daughter of a duchess. Her being sick so much kept her in a lot and she never really had any kids her age around the estate anyway. Xerxes hadn't had a normal childhood either, being raised into a family of knights and being a Child of Ill Omen had made it to where other kids didn't want to even approach him. Now here the two of them were, getting that child-like joy that had been denied them.
Shelly giggled and quickly ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him as he ran toward her and the two of them tumbled to the ground beside each other. They were still laughing as they looked over at each other. When there eyes meet, they fell silent again.
Shelly reached over and rubbed her thumb over Xerxes's bandaged eye. She remembered when he first arrived, when her daughter and Reim found him. She was sick at the time but heard stories of a stranger who had been found bloody and unconscious outside of the Rainsworth Gate. Some believed he had came from the abyss, that he was some sort of demon, and other believed that he had been some crazy bum who had snuck down to the gate to hide after a drunken fight.
After she finally recovered, she noticed that he had recovered as well and was now a valet for the family. She noticed him around the estate quite a few times, mostly him looking off in the distance, a pained look on his face.
Then she remembered the day they actually met each other. He had been picking at that bandaged eye and Reim had told him to stop so it wouldn't get infected. Then Xerxes angrily pushed Reim down, wanting him to just ignore him. Shelly had been walking into the room at the time and saw the whole thing and after she helped Reim to his feet she quickly went over to Xerxes.
She'd been watching him for a while and knew how he acted and believed she knew what he wanted. So she asked him if he wanted to die so he would be from suffering. She asked him if he wanted to die to save himself. And she remembered how shocked he was. How he denied it, how he then explained to her that he had a mission to complete, how someone had a wish she wanted him to grant.
And that's when she told him he should use that to keep on living. There was nothing Shelly hated more than those who wanted to throw there life away, especially when hers had almost been taken from her so many times. And he still stared at her confused, so surprised that all this was coming from the young duchess of all people. And then Sharon, so interested in making friends with Xerxes since they met, came in with some flowers for him. And that's when she saw him smile for the first time and then he looked over at her and Shelly smiled as well.
After that she had him join Sharon and her, and sometimes just her, like today, in walking the gardens or just exploring the estate or heading into the city for a few errands. She loved to think of the times when they would sit in the gardens as Sharon picked flowers and, in that period of sweet relaxation, Xerxes would get tired and begin dozing off. So finally Shelly would just let him rest in her lap. It was memories like this that made Shelly feel like she was growing closer and closer to Xerxes and today made her realize how free she could be around him. It felt so nice.
Suddenly, staring into his one red eye, Shelly realized it. She was so free around this man. She was so happy around this man. She was in love with this was in love with Xerxes Break.
But she couldn't be, right? He was a valet; she the next in line to be Duchess of a great family. Surely they could never be together; surely she could never admit her feelings to him. Yet she wanted so badly to spend everyday with this man, just like this, playing, laughing, enjoying each other's company, for the rest of her life.
And that's when a thought came over her. The rest of her life? How long would that really be? She had found letters of her mother's to Rufus Barma from when she was younger say of all the times she thought Shelly wouldn't live. Yet she had into adulthood and even got married and had a daughter. But when she was trying to get pregnant the doctors told her it wouldn't be a good idea because of her health. Yet her husband persisted, saying he wanted her to give him strong sons to continue the Dukedom.
Only she gave birth to a daughter and was so weakened by it that the doctors told her that it would be ill advised to have anymore children. This was when her husband left her; he couldn't be married to a woman who wouldn't give him a proper heir. Shelly had felt guilty about that, as if it was her fault that Sharon would never know her father, and had literally worried herself sick over it for a time. Her mother had believed she would really die then as well. But she hadn't and now here she was five years later. She was a strong, happy woman who tried her hardest not to let the worries of sickness or death bother her.
But then she thought about how any little thing with her could become something bigger. How there were times when she would get a simple cold and it would turn into pneumonia or how a small fever of hers would take so long to break. What if something happened and she didn't tell Xerxes her feelings? How could she be at peace then? But, again, could she really tell him how she felt? It would be a scandal if anyone found out! And what if he didn't feel the same?
Shelly began to feel tears welling up in her eyes at all these thoughts racing through her mind. "Shelly-sama?" he asked. He started to reach over and wipe them off her face but he knew he shouldn't without her permission.
Shelly noticed when he started to raise his hand and quickly started crying. He had wanted to touch her and immediately felt bad about it. They were separated too much by duty and class and she hated it. As her crying continued, it was then that she also began coughing. "Shelly-sama!" he shouted as he quickly raised up and pulled her up to carry her in his arms, bridal style. He looked around quickly to see if someone was there who could help him but she slowly began to regain her breath.
"I'm ok, Xerxes. I'm ok. Just got a little choked up," she said as the coughing and crying stopped. "Come, let's sit down again."
Xerxes put her down on the ground and then sat down in front of her. "Shelly-sama if I may ask...what got you so upset?"
Shelly was surprised by the question but then smiled, somewhat sadly. "I was just thinking about...things."
"And what were these things that were upsetting you so?" he asked.
"I..." she trailed off unsure of what to tell him. She knew if she lied he'd see right through it...but the truth was just...so much.
She stared down at the ground and her hair fell down around her face. "I-I was thinking about dying," she whispered.
"Dying?" he asked, concerned. "Why were you thinking about such a thing?! Shelly-sama you weren't thinking about..." He trailed off but she knew what he meant.
"No, no. Oh course nothing like that! I was just thinking about illness and how my mother has believed me ready to die so many times and how what would I ever do if I did and I didn't tell the man I love my true feelings and-" Her talking had sped up as she spoke and she stopped to catch her breath.
"The man you love?" he asked, confused.
Shelly froze. She didn't realize she's said that part. She quickly regained herself though. She raised her head up and tucked some hair behind her ear."Yes, Xerxes. There is a man that I'm in love with."
"And may I ask his name?" he said, curious.
Shelly giggled. "No need, you already know it."
"Oh so he's someone I know?" said Xerxes, curious still but with a hint of jealousy in his voice.
Shelly smiled. "Yes he is someone you know; someone very close to you." She then leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "Someone very close to you."
That's when Xerxes realized what she meant. He actually blushed a bit. "Shelly-sama, are-are you serious? You're in love with me?"
Shelly shook her head, blushing a bit herself. "Yes. Yes! Yes! I'm in love with you Xerxes!" She shouted in excitement, not caring who in the garden heard. She was so happy to tell him her feelings. But then she had to ask. "Do you feel the same, Xerxes?"
His eyes quickly lit up but when he opened his mouth he hesitated for a moment. "Shelly-sama, I don't know if this is something we shou-"
Shelly cut him off. "Xerxes, please don't worry about status or duty or rules or anything like that now. Answer me as if I was just a common woman and you were just a common man I knew. No duchess or valet. Just Shelly Rainsworth and Xerxes Break."
Xerxes blinked and then smiled at her. "Then I love you too, Shelly-sama."
When she heard those words her heart burst with excitement. She quickly jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and pulled him into a kiss as they fell to the ground again. Xerxes wrapped his arms around her back and held her tightly as he returned her kiss.
When they broke off the kiss she sat up on top of him, a bit embarrassed. "I-I'm sorry Xerxes. How unladylike of me; I just got a bit carried away."
He smiled at her and reached up to stroke her face. "I liked it. Though if anyone should be apologizing it should be me."
"Why is that?" she asked.
"Because as your valet I'm the one at fault for this. I should've remembered my duties and not have let this went so far. I should've-"
She stopped him with another small kiss. "Let's forget duties, and class, and rules...at least for a little while." Then a thought came to her mind. "Actually let's make this spot our little secret spot!"
"Secret spot?" he asked.
Shelly shook her head. "Yes. A secret spot where we can come to just be Shelly Rainsworth and Xerxes Break. A spot were we can laugh and play and kiss and just be with each other!" She looked over at the Freesias growing beside them. "A spot where we can be childish and immature and no one will know!"
She smiled at him and he returned it. "That sounds good to me," he said.
"Mother! Mother!" came shouts from in the garden.
Shelly and Xerxes both jumped. "That would be your daughter," said Xerxes.
"Yes it is," said Shelly as she leaned down closer to him.
"We should get going," said Xerxes, though he made no effort to get up.
"We should," whispered Shelly against his lips. She then kissed him softly, knowing that neither one wanted to really leave.
They heard Sharon shout some more and quickly Shelly got off Xerxes and began fixing her hair and smoothing down her skirt as he began dusting the grass off his back and hair. That's when Sharon appeared around the corner with Reim close behind.
"Mother!" she cried as she jumped into Shelly's arms.
"Hello, my baby," she said as she hugged her daughter. When she set her back down she asked her how the meeting went.
"It was so boring!" cried Sharon, "All everyone did was talk and talk and talk!"
Shelly laughed. "Well boring meetings are part of being a Duchess. You'll have to attend many one day I'm sure."
Sharon stared at her, eyes wide. "What?! No!"
Everyone laughed.
"So what about you, mother?" asked Sharon, "How was your day?"
Shelly looked over at Xerxes and smiled. "It was pretty good; Xerxes and I just went on a walk through the garden."
Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated! ;D Also I'm planning on making a collection of Break and Shelly oneshots so be sure to keep watch for that soon!
