AN: This is the proof that no one should ever underestimate the power of a very boring math class. My teacher's voice was starting to make me so sleepy that I had to start doing something, otherwise I'm sure I was going to fall asleep right there on the middle of the class. Anyway, this is something that my pen decided to write…I have no idea of where it came from. But the class was so boring that I wrote 3000 words. This is only half of it. If you like it, I'll post the next chapter. Let me know.
Chapter 1
It's the end of yet another long day. Callen is sitting on his desk, finishing his report. Sam went home close to one hour ago and Deeks left six hours ago because he was called to go undercover for LAPD. That only leaves him and Kensi, who is currently in the locker-room changing clothes. He's about to leave when he remembers that she landed hard on the floor during today's operation. Knowing that Deeks is not here to make her take care of her wounds he decides to take care of that himself.
He walks inside the locker-room after knocking and receiving a 'come in' from her. She has her back to him and is putting what seems to be a jacket inside her locker.
"How are you feeling?"
She turns to him when she hears his voice. "I'm okay!"
He wasn't expecting another answer from her. Unless she has a bullet in her body or is bleeding she's always okay. But he doesn't let that stop him.
"You hit that concrete pretty hard today."
Kensi shrugs. "I've had worst falls."
He takes one step forward and tries a different approach. "Let me see your arm."
But that doesn't work either and this time her voice has a different tone, almost as if she's trying to hold something back from him. "I'm fine, Callen."
He tries to remain calm. "Stop saying you're fine when it's obvious that you're not."
And when she answers this time, he learns there's definitely something wrong. "Maybe I'm not fine but it's none of your business."
He frowns, not fully believing he just heard her say such a thing. "I care about you."
Kensi lets out a harsh laugh and closes her locker with a lot more strength than necessary. "How can you say that?"
Callen takes another step forward, trying to understand what's going on here. "Of course I care about you, Kensi."
She can't disguise the anger in her voice and he's pretty sure she's not trying to do so either. "How can you care about someone and share absolutely nothing with that person?"
He finally understands what this is about. "So that's what this is about."
She shakes her head and sits on the bench to tie her snickers. "I'm not in the mood for this, Callen."
He sighs. "That's good because neither am I."
"Then leave and let me change."
He shakes his head. She might be stubborn but so is he. "No, we need to talk about this."
"There's nothing to talk about."
He starts to feel a certain pressure on his temples, a clear reminder that there's a headache making its way there. And she's only making things worse. "There's a lot to talk about."
She lets out a sigh and stands up. "Callen, I'm tired."
He's kind of glad he's not the only one feeling that way but he knows he can't let this one go. "You're hurt."
She shrugs again. "This thing on my arm is just a scratch."
"I'm not talking about your arm."
And she snaps. "Then yes, I'm hurt!"
"I didn't mean to hurt you, Kensi." And he can't be any more honest than that. He never meant to hurt her. He'd rather take a bullet than hurt her.
She can't keep her anger at bay anymore and this time she's actually yelling with him. "I know you don't share things. I know that. But we've known each other for over three years now and I thought you trusted me enough to at least tell me your freaking favorite food. But you know what? I don't want to know. I don't care. I'm not Sam so you can't share anything with me, right? I'm not hurt. I'm really not. I understand. Maybe we can try to have this conversation in three years. Maybe then you'll be ready to tell me what's your favorite food or color. I'll change clothes in my house."
With that, she storms out of the room, not even giving him time to react. He needs to take something for this headache, that's for sure.
X
He knocks on her door for the fifth time and waits patiently for her to answer the door. When she doesn't, he finally talks to her even through the door. "I know you're there, Kensi. Your car is parked in your driveway, your living room light is on and I can see your TV. Come on…open the door."
He hears her answer loud and clear, an indication that she's close to the door and simply doesn't want to open it. "Leave me alone, Callen."
He knows that if he leaves things will never be the same between them again and he desperately needs to solve this. "I just want to talk."
But of course, she's too stubborn to answer the door without putting up a fight. "I don't feel like talking right now."
He's not in the mood for this so he uses one of the only things that always make her open the door. "Either you open the door or I'm going to start yelling and giving a pretty good show to your neighbors."
He hears her steps getting closer to the door and she opens it a few seconds later. She's wearing a t-shirt and some sweat-pants but the sight of her takes his breath away, as usual.
She doesn't smile. Kensi is wearing that mask that is meant to keep everyone away from her thoughts. "That's blackmail."
He shrugs. "You made me use it. Can I come in?"
She shakes her head and he's pretty sure she's over-reacting with this whole thing. "No, you can't. Whatever you have to say, you can say it here."
He states the obvious. "You're pouting."
She doesn't budge. "I'm angry."
They both know this is more than anger. If she really were angry, she'd be yelling at him and probably punching him even. "No, you're like a little kid who was just told he isn't going to get his favorite toy for Christmas."
She frowns. "Did you come here to insult me?"
He's slowly losing his fragile patience and the headache is not helping the matter. "No, I came here to have a rational conversation with you but I can't do that when you're acting like a child."
Kensi sighs and clenches her arms in front of her chest, a defense mechanism as Nate once described it to be. "Just say whatever you want to say and go."
So he does. He tells her exactly what he's feeling, leaving out the detail that she's angering him too right now. "I'm not going to tell you anything about me just because you're mad at me. Things don't work like that with me."
She lets out a laugh that is far from light-hearted. "We've known each other for close to four years now."
He has never responded well to her anger, he admits that much. "I didn't know there was a time-limit to start sharing."
Callen sees something in her eyes that seems pretty close to sadness but it goes away as quickly as it came. "Would it be that bad to share some personal information with me?"
It was a long day and his patience is running thin. "God, why is it so hard for you to understand that I don't do that? I don't share."
"You do it with Sam all the time."
The way she compares herself to Sam is wrong in so many ways he can't even begin to explain her. It's completely different. The way he feels about Sam is not the way he feels about her.
He's well aware that he shouldn't let his anger and frustration take control of his words but he couldn't stop the next words from leaving his mouth. "You're so annoying. No wonder people keep leaving you…"
The broken look on her face is one she can't disguise and he sees how deeply those words wounded her. Callen takes a step forward to try to take a hold of her hand, needing to feel her right now just to make sure he hasn't screwed things up for good this time. But she takes a step back and he sees a tear making its way down her cheek instead.
It cuts him deeper than anything had ever done before. "Kenz…"
She closes the door in his face. He can't stop the tear that rolls down his cheek either and considers knocking on her door until she answers and he can gather her in his arms. But he knows that will only make things worse.
So, even though it breaks his heart to do so, he walks away and lets her calm down.
Tomorrow he will make things better.
TBC…
