Chapter 1: Hurt
"I love you Reid!" I shouted in front of him and in front of the entire Spenser student. He just stood there, pure shock on his face and so where the audience around us.
Finally I got it out. For many years, I finally got it out. No more excuse, no more hiding, and no more lying.
"How long?" He finally squeaked.
"The day you caught me from falling off the tree" I answered.
Silence envelope us again. Nobody talked. Nobody dared blink for fear that the scene in front them would vanish. But I could reassure them, this was real. Yes, Reid's long time bestfriend finally confessed her true feeling towards one of the school's heartthrobs.
It kind of just got out of my mouth. We weren't supposed to talk to each other, since we where still having our war after a fight at Nicky's. And then one day, Reid decided to piss me off here in the hallway in front of all these people. And then I blurted I love you, randomly because of the anger boiling inside me. God right now, I feel like a real dumb ass. But at least that shut Reid's big, loud, and full of profanity mouth.
"I can't believe this" He whispered while running a hand through his hair.
"I mean all those years?" I nodded slowly.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"We where friends Reid, very good friends. I was afraid that that friendship I treasure the most would be shattered if I told you the truth." He stared at me like I was a Martian.
"But you could have tried. You could have taken a shot instead of just being safe. You have at least gave me a hint" He said, voice rising.
"I can't! Okay? I was afraid. I was afraid that you would say no. I was afraid that you would leave me. I was scared Reid!" I could feel my eyes welled up. Why the hell am I crying! I was supposed to be angry. I was supposed to be angry at this asshole for not understanding the situation here. He was such an ass, after years of being my bestfriend; he still didn't know me fully.
"Well, what's you're answer?" Reid turned to me again.
"About what" I glared at him.
"About the thing I just confessed to you!" I shouted. I was getting frustrated by the second.
He looked at me for a second before thinking it slowly. He kept staring upward like the damn thing would give him an answer. He occasionally lick his lips as he paced around.
"Well!" I shouted.
"Okay, okay…….."
Silence. Okay this was getting more and more frustrating. The answer was simple, only a matter of saying yes or no.
"Reid!" I snapped.
"God, okay fine" He said snapping out of his thoughts.
"No" My heart sank. And my inside just broke like glass. Time seem to just stop. I just stood there; looking at the guy that I thought was my bestfriend. He was smirking; the son of the bitch was smirking! Oh, I get it now. He was smirking at me because he just proved he was irresistible. The bet that he did with Aaron! Aaron betted that sooner or later I would fall for Reid. How could I have been stupid? Of course he wouldn't back down. He was Reid.
"I guess you won the 100 bucks" I said, a tear leaving my eyes.
"Hey, nothing personal" He shrugged.
"I know" my voice was hoarse. My throat was dry.
"Goodbye Reid"
Reid stumbled to walk. Luckily, Tyler was there to keep aid for his poor friend.
"That bitch was sacred! I was shock when she actually said that she loved me. And now she leaves? Who the hell does that? I'm Reid Garwin, nobody leaves me! Especially a girl that I like" Reid slurred every word he just spoke. He added effects by swing his bottle of vodka in the air.
After the "hallway incident", Reid decided to go to Nicky's for a little drinking session. But Reid end up smashed and kept shouting curses to Raven. Reid wouldn't shut up about how stupid she was for loving a heartless bastred or how she could just leave the Reid. Soon the costumers where getting annoyed, Nicky didn't think twice to throw Reid's drunken ass out.
"Wait here" Tyler commanded before letting Reid lean on the wall next to their dorm door. As Tyler struggled with the lock to his room, Reid just laughed, hiccupping one in awhile.
"Raven! Can you hear me! I love you! It was just a stupid bet. I had to win to get that motherfucker's money! Raven!" Reid shouted to the wall opposite him.
"Reid, turn you're voice down! You're gonna wake everybody!" Tyler angrily said.
"Fuck them! Raven!...Raven!"
"Reid!" Tyler put his hand on Reid's mouth while dragging the older boy inside.
"You're an ass" Tyler said before roughly dropping Reid in his bed. He just laugh at Tyler.
"Get a life man" Tyler shook his head, leaving Reid alone and drunk on their room.
"Where you going my little pet" Tyler crinkled his nose from the doorway.
"Out" Tyler answer
"Oh, you gonna drive that bitch to the airport? Go ahead, betray me. You deserved each other. She's a coward anyways"
Tyler quickly walked toward Reid, grabbing him in the collar so they could look at each other.
"Don't you dare call her a coward! She confessed herself in front of many judging eyes. And what do you do? You turn her down because you're afraid of you're Goddamn reputation! Tell me Reid who's the real coward?" Tyler said quickly, glaring daggers at his bestfriend.
Tyler expected for a reply but he only got was a loud burp from Reid accompanied by a laugh.
"Ugh" Tyler let go of Reid and left the room, banging the door extra loud.
After Reid's laughter creased, he just lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling.
He fucked up this time. He had hurt the girl that meant more than a friend to her. He just couldn't put her first before her reputation. Tyler was right, he was the coward. Raven didn't deserved him, she deserved much better. How could he do that to her, and in front of all those people! He was an asshole, no doubt. Now, here he was miserable and drunk, regretting everything he said and did to her in the hallway. It was his fault. Now, he had to face the fact that the girl he loved was never going to love him again. And he would never lover any other being. He would just face the fact that he was alone. Alone for the rest of his life.
