Warning: Rated M for depression and self harm, please be warned


Adrien honestly didn't mean to mess up as often as he did. It seemed that his connection to being Chat Noir, a black cat, affected his own life in the "bad luck" sort of way. The night before was just a start, he had completely messed up fighting an akumitized victim with Ladybug, he put citizens in danger and he was scolded by Ladybug ruthlessly. And this day so far had been awful for Adrien. He got up earlier today, did his morning routine. On his way out, he accidentally ran into his father and spilled his drink all over his father's new clothing design. He was lectured by his father about not paying attention and how much he always ruined things, and that today he was supposed to finish school and get back to his house for a "punishment". On his way to school, he realized he left his books at home and had to go back to get them. His father of course was angry with him and Adrien spent more time at his house and was incredibly late for school.

When he finally got to class, the teacher made a speech about Adrien being late, and embarrassed him in front of the entire class. He was given detention, which his father again would not be happy about.

It was at lunch when he finally took a moment to relax.

"Hey, Adrien!" Nino sat next to the blonde.

"Hey Nino." Adrien gave a quick smile and went back to frowning at his hands.

"Do you wanna go get lunch?" Nino wondered.

"Not today..." Adrien sighed. "…sorry, I-uh…just don't feel up to eating right now."

"Is it because you got detention?" Nino scowled.

"Not just that," replied Adrien. "I just, um, am having a bad day."

"I get it man," Nino chuckled. "well, I'm gonna go get some food, see ya in class!"

Adrien half-heartedly waved before sighing. He had an hour. He strolled over to a vending machine and bought himself a red drink.

"Oh, Adrien-kins!"

Adrien subconsciously sighed and turned around to fine Chloe racing towards him.

"Wait, Chloe-"

Adrien had opened his drink before he heard the snooty teen. Chloe tackled Adrien. The blonde boy backed up quick when he felt something wet soak his shirt.

"Ah!" Chloe screamed. "There's red all over my new shirt~!"

"I said wait-"

"This was a designer shirt!" Chloe screeched. "Adrien how could you!?"

"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry Chloe-"

Chloe whined and ran away. Her whole front had been covered in red drink, and everyone was laughing at her, and Adrien.

"Jeez," Adrien heard someone whisper on his way to the men's locker room. "what a screw-up today…"

Adrien chewed his lip and went faster towards the men's locker room. Almost to the door, Adrien tripped over his shoe-lace and fell on his knees. He grit his teeth and gasped in frustration. He stood up and entered the men's locker room. Adrien touched his knees and saw red on his fingers, it was a different texture than his drink, so he assumed it was blood.

His father was going to kill him. Adrien not only screwed up this morning with his father, he also got detention and ruined his new expensive pants and shirt. Adrien licked his lips and pulled his knees close to his chest and sighed sadly. No one was in the men's locker room except him.

"Adrien?"

Adrien didn't lift his head for Plagg. He felt a little hand on his cheek.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know, Plagg."

Adrien stood sniffed and removed his shirt. He shoved it in the sink and turned on the water. He did his best to wash the stains out of it, but he was sure that there was still some left. He improvised by using his button-up over shirt instead, which was strangely enough not stained. He buttoned it up and left the locker room.

He grunted when he ran into someone and fell back down on his rump. He rubbed his head and looked up.

"Adrien! Oh - I-um, I'm sorry – I – uh wasn't paying attention!" Mariannete stammered.

Adrien grunted and dropped his shoulders, "No…uh, it was my fault…"

"Hm?" Mariannete scowled when she spotted Adrien's scrapped up knees. "Did I cause that?!"

"Huh…? Oh no…" Adrien shook his head. "I fell earlier."

Mariannete noticed the sad look on Adrien's face. "Are you alright Adrien?"

"I'm okay." Adrien lied.

"You know," Mariannete said nervously, with a slight hint of teasing in her voice. "if you're not careful, then you'll get akumitized and have to be rescued by Ladybug and Chat Noir!"

Mariannete chuckled while Adrien bit his lip. Mariannete noticed the still sad face that Adrien was hosting and yelped quietly.

She stood up and held her hand out nervously. Adrien took it and stood up with shaky legs. Adrien smiled and began to walk away.

"Wait – uh, Adrien?"

Adrien glanced over his shoulder, "Hm?"

Mariannete's face turned bright red, "I – uh – I'm…I – was uh wondering if you wanted to…um…come to the carnival with me – and uh – Alya of course…"

Adrien blinked. Something good?

"I would love too." He smiled genuinely. "What time?"

"U-Uh, after school!" She stumbled.

"It's a date then." Adrien grinned.

Mariannete giggle as Adrien limped away. Alya came over and patter her on the back, "Good job girl!"

"Did you hear him Alya?" Mariannete squealed. "He said: '"it's a date then'"!"

Alya chuckled and rubbed Mariannete's shoulder, "Yes I did."

Meanwhile, Adrien was going to fix up his knees. Nothing was going right for him that was for sure. He was taking the "black cat's bad luck" thing to the next level. Plagg flew out of his shirt and nudged Adrien's arm.

"What do you think your dad'll say about the carnival?"

"I wasn't planning on asking him," replied Adrien honestly. "he would just say no."

Plagg shrugged, "Guess you're right, so…can we get some camembert?"

"Not right now, Plagg."

After school was finished, with a lot of tripping and mistakes, Adrien finally got the chance to sneak away from his bodyguard and Natalie. He made his way to the carnival that was in Paris for a week. He was excited, it was the first time today he had any good luck.

He met Alya, Nino and Mariannete in front of the carnival, and the four payed and went in.

"Nino, I didn't know you were coming." Adrien admitted.

"Can't let you have all the fun with the ladies!" Nino responded with a grin.

Adrien chuckled and they enjoyed the carnival. There was a lot to do, games, rides, etc. Adrien had fun for a bit. But then…

"Adrien!"

Adrien froze. Natalie had found him? Adrien turned around slowly and dropped his shoulders.

"Natalie…"

On her side was Adrien's bodyguard, looking down at him in his bruiting fashion. His friends stopped to watch.

"Your father has been worried sick about you!" Natalie scolded.

"Please Natalie! I'm having the most fun I've had all day! Can I please stay…?"

Natalie sighed, "Adrien, on other circumstances I might say yes. Might. But Mr. Agreste also got a call about you having detention on Saturday, and it seems as if you've ruined your new clothes."

"Hey, come'on miss lady!" Nino argued. "He's had a rough day! Why can't you just let him have this one fun thing!"

"I wish I could but I cannot allow it." Natalie said firmly.

"Please…?" Adrien begged.

"…your father is very angry with you Adrien. I suggest you hurry up and come with us before you make a scene."

Adrien looked pleadingly at Mariannete, and she gave him a sympathetic look before stepping forward, "Ma'am…I understand that Adrien's dad is worried and that he might be a bit mad at him, but Adrien was having a good time, and…I honestly think it would be unfair for you to take away his joy."

Natalie glanced at the bodyguard and back at Mariannete, "Adrien…I'm sorry."

Adrien felt his heart ache a bit. He looked at Mariannete who was looking at the ground in despair.

"Um…" Adrien's tongue felt like sandpaper. "…Mariannete, don't…let my absence make you not have fun…okay?"

Mariannete looked into Adrien's green eyes and smiled reassuringly, "I'll do my best…but, I'll take you to the carnival again before it leaves, okay?"

Adrien nodded and trudged away from the carnival with Natalie and his bodyguard. He was only at the carnival for an hour, there was so much he could still do…yet, he wouldn't be allowed too. Adrien felt like letting loose a few tears…but he didn't. When they arrived at his home, he had planned on slipping up to his room, but his father was waiting for him.

"Adrien."

Adrien looked up and into his father's eyes. He could see his father's fuming demeanor.

"You disobeyed me." Gabriel Agreste said with anger in his voice. "Adrien, for a while you will be doing your homework from here. I will not allow you to go out, or have anyone interrupt you or visit you."

"Wait – father!?" Adrien gasped. "Please reconsider!"

"No!" Gabriel snapped. "You have destroyed so many things this day, got detention, hurt yourself, and disobeyed me and went out without asking!"

"But Father-"

"Adrie-"

"Please don't do this-"

"Adrien it's final!" Gabriel shouted. "It's much safer in here for you and everyone else around you, your mistakes are hurting other people and I don't wish to have my reputation ruined by your reckless acts!"

Adrien stared at his father for a moment before he felt his heart mentally break in half. His hands shook and he dropped his bags and ran quickly past his father into his room. He could hardly hold back his tears. His day got worse and worse as it went on. He slammed his door shut and locked it before falling onto his bed and burying his face in his pillow. He upset everyone. His friends, his schoolmates, his father...Ladybug. He was convinced she hated him now.

"Adrien…" He heard his kawami murmur. "…maybe you shouldn't have disobeyed your father-"

Adrien felt anger towards Plagg for a moment, "Get out Plagg! Go away! Go enjoy your smelly trash cheese and get out of my room!"

Plagg stared at him for a second, "…jeez you obviously need alone time."

Plagg left Adrien alone. Adrien's lip quivered when Plagg left. He bit his lip and opened his drawer. Inside was a blade. He hadn't used it in a while, he gave it up so that he could improve…but he felt as if it helped him. Adrien was so upset, he deserved this. His hands were shaky as he gripped the blade, and tears dropped onto his arm as he slowly slid it across his wrist, being careful not to cut his major vein.

First it stung…but then…it went numb. He couldn't feel it anymore. He continued to hurt himself. At the moment, one thought ran through his mind: "Adrien. You deserve this."

Adrien finished and threw his crimson stained blade back in his drawer. What was he doing…? Nothing was going right for him. Adrien curled up in a ball and sobbed. He didn't know how long he was crying, but he eventually fell asleep. When he woke up, it was dark outside, and there was an achy and sore feeling in his cut wrists.

"Hey, Adrien." Plagg was next to Adrien's head.

"Plagg-"

Plagg turned away from Adrien, "I'm still your kwami, and even if I don't like you right now, I have to be there to support you and your stupid decisions..."

Adrien watched his dark kwami with his large green eyes. He shivered and sat up.

"How…long was I sleeping?"

"A few hour's dummy," responded Plagg. "there's a reason it's so dark outside ya know…uh, Adrien…?"

Adrien hummed and looked at Plagg, "Hm?"

"What…" Plagg stepped towards Adrien's abused wrists. "…did you do?"

Adrien looked down at his wrists. Scars were for sure going to sprout from that, but now, there was dried blood and a lot of cut marks.

"…I took away my pain."

Adrien strolled towards his window and looked out. In the distance, he could see the carnival that he wasn't allowed to go to. He didn't deserve to go to that Carnvial…but…he was consumed in anger…fear…and sadness. He put his hand on the window and sighed.

"Plagg…"

"Hm?"

"Claws out."

Plagg groaned as he was sucked into Adrien's miraculous and he transformed into Chat Noir.

"Maybe Adrien Agreste can't go to the Paris Carnival," Chat said. "but, Chat Noir defiantly can."

He jumped out of his window and ran on top of the roof's. He stopped and looked down at the Carnival from on top of a building. He sighed and looked to his side. He almost yelled in surprise when he saw a black butterfly fluttering towards him. An Akuma…

Am…am I really that upset…? Chat thought in despair. Yes, he was upset, but, he didn't want to be controlled by Hawk Moth. He didn't want to become akumitized. He jumped away from the butterfly and began to run away from it. He tried calling Ladybug, and was quite surprised when she answered.

"Chat?"

"Ladybug!" Chat exclaimed. "I-I need your help!"

"What's wrong?!"

"There's…an akuma-"

"Where are you?"

"On the roof's by the Carnival!" Chat responded.

"I'll be right there, hang on!"

Chat felt tears in his eyes. It was his fault about everything. This wouldn't have happened if he hadn't felt so sorry for himself. But…he couldn't help it. He had been messing up, he had been grounded…he missed his mother more than anything.

"Chat!"

Chat Noir looked up, Ladybug was flying towards him, using her yoyo as a rope.

"Where's the akumatized victim?" She demanded.

Running beside him. Chat stared at her, tears brimming his eyes.

"The…a-akuma is behind us…"

Ladybug stopped and turned around. She suppressed a gasp when she spotted the akuma flying their way. She glanced at Chat sympathetically and pulled her yoyo out.

"Time to de-evilize!" She shouted, catching the akuma in her yoyo, and then releasing the white butterfly. "Bye, bye little butterfly."

Ladybug watched it for a moment before turning to Chat.

"Chat," she said, taking a step towards him.

Chat instinctively took a step away from her. She bit her lip, "It was coming after you…?"

Chat nodded.

"Why-"

"I'm upset Ladybug!" Chat shouted. "Leave me alone!"

Chat turned and started running away.

"Chat! Chat Noir! Stop!" He heard Ladybug beg. "If you keep on going like this, another akuma will come after you!"

Chat closed his eyes and ran away from Ladybug. He didn't want her to see him like this. He felt something wrap around his chest and was yanked backwards. It was Ladybug's yoyo.

He slammed against her and the two fell back against a chimney. Ladybug held Chat tight, despite his struggles she had an iron grip.

"Chat…" She muttered. "…what happened?"

Chat stopped struggling and fell limp against her, "…I have bad luck…"

"Bad luck-"

"I'm a screw up!" Chat cried. "I can't do anything right…everyone hates me…I hate me…"

Ladybug watched the back of Chat's head and she felt pity. She pulled the boy's body, as it racked with sobs, closer to her. "Sh…you're not a screw up Chat."

"Yes…I am…"

Ladybug pulled him closer. "Who thinks that?"

"You…the people…my family…"

"Me?" Ladybug scowled.

"I messed up…" Chat sobbed.

"Chat, I'm not mad at you for that. Everyone makes mistakes."

"I make so many mistakes Ladybug…" Chat buried his face in her shoulder. "…all day..."

Was I too harsh on him the other day? Was it me that caused this…? Ladybug thought.

She gasped as she recalled calling him a screw up, and a dull headed dimwit that didn't pay attention to his surroundings…sure, Chat had accidentally hurt some of the people he wanted to protect, and it was only because they were Mariannete's friends and her mother, but they were okay. It wasn't Chat Noir's fault, it was Ladybug's default plan.

"Chat…I'm so sorry." Ladybug whispered. "I'm sorry for calling you so many things. It wasn't your fault."

Chat sniffled, and Ladybug rubbed circles in his back.

"You aren't a screw up. People don't hate you, you just had a bad day. Everyone as a bad day occasionally, even me – especially me." Ladybug admitted. "I don't know what else happened, but I know it will turn out okay for you. I feel awful for what I said…I don't know how to shut my mouth sometimes…and for that? I am so very sorry."

"It's not your fault Ladybug…" Chat said in a muffled voice. "…it was mine for letting myself get so upset…"

Chat sat up and Ladybug's face soured when she saw the many tear stains he had. Ladybug touched his wrist and the boy immediately retracted his arm and held it protectively. It took Mariannete a second before she slowly put the pieces together.

"Chat…" she said. "…have you…been-"

"I cut."

Ladybug stared at him. For once, she didn't know what on earth to say. She always noticed times when Chat looked down, but he tried to keep it hidden with his flirtatious demeanor and carefree ways.

"Things have been rough."

"I…" Mariannete stammered. "…I…"

Tears brimmed Ladybug's own eyes. She was close with Chat Noir, she hated seeing him so depressed. She felt as if she now shared his pain. She wanted to help him, she felt sorry for him…

Chat noticed the tears and felt even worse. "…You're mad…I'm so…I'm so sorry-"

"No." Ladybug said, her bangs covering her teary eyes. "You shouldn't be sorry for anything. I understand that self-harm can be considered selfish…but, it just indicates to me…that you're in a lot of pain…Chat, I don't want you to be in pain – I care too much about you for you to be in pain. And yes…I'm sad, but…I'm not mad at you. I am going to do everything in my power to help you."

Ladybug reached towards Chat's face and took his cheek in her hand, "Chat, don't you worry."

Ladybug leaned over and placed a kiss on Chat's cheek, before pulling him into a hug again.


It had been a few weeks, Adrien had constantly transformed to meet up with Ladybug, something the two of them had been doing since Chat and Adrien's depression started. Adrien got help too. He confessed to Natalie, and he was going to be set up with a private therapist for his problems. His father had finally released him from his grounding, and let Adrien go back to school.

The model still had bandages around his wrists, but he had learned to become a little proud. They were his battle scars, and even though sometimes he would look down and think of how sad he was, or is, he would also think about how kind and thoughtful Ladybug was…and, Mariannete. She had been writing Adrien and telling him encouraging things. He didn't know who told Mariannete that he was depressed, but he was appreciative towards her actions.

When he spotted her the first day he was back, he walked towards her, a small blush appearing on his face as he approached.

"Oh! Adrien! Nice how see you! I mean…see you nice!" Mariannete chuckled nervously.

"Mariannete," Adrien smiled. "thank you for everything."

He bent over and hugged her. She froze for a moment, but then hugged him back, "Of course…that's what friends are for."

Friends. The more Adrien thought about Mariannete, the stranger he felt…he felt like he did when he was around Ladybug…happy. Maybe he liked Mariannete too?

Well, it was something to find out in the future.