We'll let him go.
A/N: A continuation of the scene in last night's episode, The Homecoming. Enjoy!
Rage. Black, suffocating rage began to consume me as I downed my third glass of...whatever the hell it was I was drinking. And she was there. Staring at me, apologizing. As if her verbal tirade would assuage my anger, my disappointment, my fear. How stupid she could be. And yet. Yet.
As I stormed to the fireplace and threw the remaining whiskey into the fireplace, I could hear myself screaming, letting the dark hatred infuse my veins, pushing her away. She didn't need to be here; why was she here? I wasn't Stefan, didn't she know that by now? I could never be, no matter what I wanted. Shit, I'm too angry for this, for her to be here. Why won't she leave? I cannot deal with her sympathetic, concerned, beautiful face.
She puts her arm upon mine and I shrug it off. "This could've all been over!" I repeat softly, desperation tinging my voice. Hating myself for showing weakness, I glare into the fire, body shaking with rage, the grip upon my glass almost enough to break it. My brother and I have a tenuous past, no one can doubt that, but the thought of him being gone forever, of that bastard Klaus living forever, was too much. I need to kill something, rip it's heart out, tear through the delicate flesh of a random naive sorority girl, something. The slow burn in my throat intensified at the thought, and suddenly I could smell her. Both Stefan and I know how delicious she smells, how erotic she tastes, her warm blood pulsing through that delicate body of hers. That blood that touches every part of her body mixing with my own body...my anger began to change to something else. An emotion far more dangerous: bloodlust.
"Hey Damon, hey, hey listen to me!" she implored, moving closer to me, heightening my desire as her scent washed over me and her heartbeat quickened. She should be scared, I'm a monster. A monster that cannot even beat his own brother, cannot keep her safe. I hated myself in that moment and I think I hated her as well. For doing this to me, to Stefan, for making us feel. For this humanity, this desire. If I let it, it would consume me, destroy me.
These thoughts filtered out of my mind as she placed her hands upon my face and sought my gaze. "We'll survive this. We always survive," she stated, her fingertips moving slightly against my hair, setting my sense on fire. She was wrong, though. As good as her touch felt, as much as every muscle in my body was yearning to reach out and take her lips upon my own, feel her warm, supple skin on every part of my cold, rigid body, I could not believe her. She was a fool, she needed to be told. But as her dark eyes held my own I found I could not. The words fell heavy upon my lips and would not escape and harm her. After an eternity, she moved her fingers lightly against my hair once again and added resolutely "Trust me."
For only the second time in my reasonably long life, I found I could not resist. Not this woman, not my Elena. I did trust her, and a trickle of fear replaced the anger at this realization. Somehow our relationship had shifted, from cold hatred, to indifference to trust. My eyebrows furrowed at the word, hearing it resound in my head. Elena trusts me. Instead of letting the rage return, I gave into another emotion, passion.
Her breathing was becoming irregular, her heartbeat quickened even more and I realized it wasn't fear she was feeling but another emotion entirely, equal passion. And while it maybe only be because Stefan was a dick and unable to give her what she needed, my dead heart did not care. In this moment, she chose me. Maybe that was enough. For now. Maybe I'd always be second best, but the look in her eyes told me otherwise. The eyes that had tricked me before, the eyes so like and yet completely unlike Katherines.
The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. "We're never getting stefan back, you know that don't you?" I inwardly recoiled, expecting her to slap me, to collapse into my arms, to proclaim her love for my dear brother who deserved her in so many more ways than I ever could. But she did not. Her hands embraced my face more tightly, and she swayed, her eyes leaving the present and entering an unknown place for a second before returning to my icy blue gaze.
"Then we'll let him go, okay? we'll have to let him go," she stated resolutely, her voice only quavering slightly at the prospect of Stefan being gone forever. The faint sensations her skin sparked intensified at her words. Maybe I was only second best, but that could be enough. For Elena. My elena. I could do nothing but nod at the notion and she seemed relieved to win my acquiescence. Perhaps she was only relieved that I wasn't as consumed by anger. Whatever the reason, she wasn't letting go and the moment seemed to spiral into eternity, our gazes locked.
As the chains of desire began moving our bodies closer to one another my phone rang. Of course it would. The moment was broken, the chain snapped. I inwardly groaned as I participated in a short conversation with Katherine. That bitch always knew when to ruin any moment of my life. It was her art form. As I hung up I turned my eyes back to Elena, who seemed much more guarded than before. Instead of giving her space which I knew she wanted, I indulged myself.
I took two steps towards her and slowly placed my hands on her folded arms, squeezing gently, reveling in the softness of her skin and the intimacy of this moment. Half expecting her to recoil in residual Stefan love, my eyebrows rose as she loosened her arms and brought them to my waist, gripping harder than necessary. "Damon," she murmured through slightly parted lips, moving her eyes from her hold on my waist up my torso and finally reaching my eyes.
Fixated on the sensations she was creating in a very delicate area, I leaned down painfully slowly, wishing nothing more than to take her on the rug we were standing on. But this was Elena, not some random whore, or even Katherine. She deserved more. She deserved more than me. But, at least in this moment, she wasn't rejecting me. I almost felt alive, almost felt...
Her.
A/N: Soooo...that was my first Vampire Diaries fic. I usually write for Bones but last night's episode inspired this little ficlet. It might remain as a one shot, or I could quite possible add more. It depends...what do you all think? Reviews make me smile!
