Torn with You

ONESHOT with EP 10 SPOILERS

When Dup begs Danny to stay as he collapses after dropping some devastating news, Danny has to rethink his move to England. Will he stay or will he go?

Danny's POV

Dup was going to be ok. Ed got back in time and after a quick check-up with the doctor it was all confirmed that Dup as usual would pull through and be fine. Caroline was a bit worried but hey, we worry about the ones we love don't we. God... the one's we love.

I don't know what to do anymore. I was so sure that this time I wasn't going to let Alice down. That I wasn't going to let my son down, let Charlotte down, yet here I was trying to decide whether I should stay or go. What kind of man does that make me? I'm meant to love the woman! What kind of man has to think about it? Your wife and kids or your work, the place you love. There shouldn't be one second thought should there? I should just go. I chose to do that didn't I? I couldn't change her mind and so I said I'd go.

But then I didn't know about Ed's plans. That damn Fiona! If it wasn't for her he wouldn't have any of these crazy ideas but he did; he was planning on secretly joining Leopards Den and Mara with the National Park and then she could build a damned research centre! I admit I'm reeling. Now I question it all. If I go they'll ruin Leopards Den. They'll tear it apart. How can I leave? How can I allow that to happen? How can I? This place is where Alice will return to... except... would she return?

I'm not sure we'd stand it... me staying here. We're strong, we're in love; of course we are but this time it's different. It's not a case of I have to be here. It's not a case of I'm getting the place ready for her. This time I have a choice... even if Alice expects me to go out there (which anyone should expect of me), I have the choice. If I chose to stay... I'm not sure Alice would take that. She'd pretend it was all ok but in reality it wouldn't be. She'd feel lost and lonely and abandoned in England and totally unloved. She'd feel insecure. She'd end it. Announce the divorce. Announce she was never coming back and that... that would kill me. I would be beyond repair. It wouldn't just be my beloved wife I was losing, the only woman I'd ever loved so deeply, I'd be losing my son. Robert would be fatherless.

I close my eyes and all I can hear is her voice. I can picture her anguished face as she says it. Her once clear face covered in lines of stress; her blue eyes dark and clouded as I tell her I'm not coming; her voice cracking yet tinged with anger and annoyance. Annoyance I've not put her first. I hear the exact words she would say; "So you choose Leopards Den over your wife? Your son? You choose a damned place, your job over us? Your family, your wife, your son!" It's so realistic I feel the pain in my chest as my heart breaks. What the hell do I do?

It's tearing me apart. I go around and around in circles. Stay here and ensure Leopards Den carries on forever or go to my wife and children. Both need me. This place needs me to keep it going and safe; to keep all I've worked for alive! Alice needs me because I'm her Husband. I should be with her. Where did life go so wrong? When did life become THIS complicated? Peeters. He's the cause of this. No Danny. No... you are the cause of this. You're the one who thinks the animals are so precious. You're the one choosing them over your wife and kids.

Suddenly, I feel it. Like a train ploughing through my chest. How stupid am I being? Was I truly willing to let this place rip me apart from Alice? From Robert? Who am I kidding? I wasn't going to lose my wife to this place. This was a place, a job is a job, my work may go down the drain but so what? I'd have my family. Love. That's what we all need isn't it? It's only for a year. We could start again. My mind drifts to a Marilyn Monroe quote Alice loves to cheekily say when I'm working too much with the animals. "A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night."

My decision is made. This place may mean a lot to me but it's not my world. No... my world is in England and I am returning to her. I'm returning to my true home – In my wife's arms.

A/N – This is total rabble! Took me like twenty minutes to write but meh! Hope you liked!