I Wish You Were Dead!

It has been a week since he dumped her. His reasoning's were still uncertain, but she knew it had to be because he hasn't changed. He's still the same womanizer that he was before they met. All he wanted was to sleep around. Once her tears dried, and her breathing leveled, anger sank into her skin, bones, and heart. She began throwing things in her room, and wanted to badly break the mirror, but she restrained herself, because she knew he mother would kill her if she did.

She started to laugh maniacally, when she thought of him getting an STD from all the stupid sluts he would fuck. She hoped his dick would turn black and fall off. She remembered watching a movie a long time ago, before she met any of the lightwoods. She watched the movie with Simon and Eric. It was about a girl who had teeth in her virgina, and it BIT OFF dicks! She found the movie to be hilarious, while the guys were deeply traumatized by it.

She hoped that Jace would run into a girl with teeth in her cha-cha. She would love to be there, and laugh out loud while he slowly died from blood loss. That's what he would deserve for hurting her, destroying her, for practically throwing her away like a piece of trash.

Izzy told her that she would take her clubbing to get her mind off Jace, and to meet new guys and party. At first all she wanted to do was mope in her room. The thought of men- even now- disgusts her. BUT what would it hurt, to help ease the pain just for one night? To make Jace disappear from her mind, to help her forget.

So of course Izzy poked, pulled, ripped, and tugged until Clary looked like a super model. She made her wear a black mini-skirt, with boots that stopped just below her knees. Her top hung to her body, and hung low on her chest, showing off whatever she had there. She straightened Clary's hair; it was sleek, and shiny, reaching her mid-back section. She had on smoky eye make up, and sparking earrings that dangled from her years.

Clary had to admit that she felt gorgeous, and she felt she could hypnotize a pool of men tonight. She was excited until she realized Jace was coming.

"Izzy, how am I suppose to get him off my mind if he's going to be everywhere I AM!" Clary shouted in Izzy's face, ready to tackle her and tear her to shreds.

"Because I want you rub it in his face what he destroyed. I want him to hurt just as much as you are! I want him to see you dry humping other guys, don't you get it?" Okay, that sounded very fun to Clary, and she couldn't wait to do it, BUT… she also wanted to just disappear from this world, where Jace exists. She wanted it to be like she never met him at all, just this one night, and now he'll probably be breathing down her neck. They could have done this on a later time.

But the idea was fun, and she knew she wouldn't get her way and get Jace to not go, and Izzy to change her mind. She gave in, and they exited the Institute together, Clary completely ignoring Jace, who was walking next to her.

~*0*~

Jace had to leave her; it was for her own good. Every step he took was a step away from Clary, and as much as he wanted to backtrack he just couldn't. He loved her too much to let him take her down with him. He was unworthy of such a beautiful, smart, talented young girl to be his. He wasn't putting too much effort into his outfit. He knew he was treating Clary badly, especially after the break up. Why he felt the need to be an asswhole to the girl he was already hurting, was beyond him. Maybe it was his way of getting her to forget about him. She should forget about him. He didn't deserve her.

"Yea, you're damn right you don't deserve her. Not with how you think!" Said a voice, Jace spun around to see none other than Sebastian, sitting on his desk with one leg up, and his arm hung over the knee.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jace was ready to attack, when Sebastian put his hands up in defense.

"Relax, I'm not here to kill you, or your girlfriend… oh" He chuckled. "That's right, I mean EX-girlfriend! You really screwed this up didn't you, Herondale?" He laughed again.

"Then what are you here for?" Jace asked, ignoring his taunts.

"I'm here to taunt you about your incredibly stupid decisions."

"What?" Jace's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Ugh!" Sebastian groaned in frustration and jumped down from the desk. "I guess you can say I am your inner conscience, but not really. I am here to guide you. Or maybe insult you. Not sure which, yet."

"But why you?"

"The spirit world thoughtt I was best for the job, because even I think that you are being an incredibly big fucking idiot!"

"What!"

"That's right. You dumped your girlfriend, because…" Sebastian started to mimic him in a ridiculous tone. "I don't deserve her, wha-whaa, I am pathetic and don't deserve to be happy wha wha. So instead of changing and working my best to make me worthy I am going to destroy my girlfriend's heart and dump her, wha wha!" After Sebastian finished his rant Jace couldn't help but think if that's what he sounds like, than it was kind of…. Pathetic…

But more the all reason not to deserve Clary.

Sebastian groaned in frustration again.

"I should've known that you were too pathetic to take that imitation of you as a hint to stop being a fucking idiot!" Could he hear his thoughts?

Sebastian followed Jace all the way out the institute, and stood by Jace while Jace stood by Clary. No one could see him, but Jace, and it was starting to annoy him.

"Oh, look at that Herondale. She hates you! HALLEJUAH! It's about time my darling sister realized she was in love with a fucking idiot!"

"SHUT UP!" Jace shouted, but realized that he said it out loud, and everyone was now staring at him like he was crazy. Clary looked at him, not just like he was crazy, but fucking stupid.

She let out a gust of air that said she had enough, rolled her eyes and began to walk ahead of him. Everyone turning away from Jace and ignoring his odd random outburst.

"Nice going Herondale. Not only did you prove yourself to be worthless, but now they think you're nuts. Oh this keeps getting better and better. It's like watching a Soap Opera!" Sebastian jumped in the air all excited for the drama that was about to unfold.

They arrived at Pandemonium, as soon as they entered Clary took off, disappearing into the crowd, Jace tried to search for her with his eyes, but found nothing but his eyes straining from the constant focus. Ignoring, Sebastian taunts, he walked over to the bar, hoping he could find her better from here.

He was standing there for some time, still not seeing a sight of Clary, Isabelle, or Simon anywhere. Sebastian was being quiet for a change, and he was hoping he'd stay that way.

"Hello gorgeous." Jace heard a girl's seductive voice beside him. He turned to see a pretty blonde girl with blue eyes watching him closely. He heard Sebastian smirk and scoff, but he ignored him.

"He pretty thing, what's your name."

"Skank!"

"Linda." She and Sebastian said at the same time.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." Jace asked again.

"Linda." She was tracing her index finger around the glass of her drink. "Want to find a private place."

"More than anything." Jace replied. They hurried off into a corner. Jace, not knowing Sebastian followed. The girl grinded on him, lifting her leg onto his hip, while they kissed fiercely.

"She's not Clary." Sebastian said while standing directly next to him.

"Ah!" Jace stopped kissing the girl for a second.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing." Jace shook his head and began kissing her again.

"You know, I am beginning to think you don't deserve her! Here you are, not even a week after the two of you break up, and you are making out with someone else…. Right… in… front… of ….. her!"

Jace, let his eyes wonder, with his lips still on the girls, and saw Clary rushing away. He could chase her and ruin everything, or just continue to pretend she wasn't there, that Sebastian wasn't there.

"I murdered your little brother, and even I think you are a bigger piece of shit than me. Don't pretend you didn't see. You very well know that you did. You treat her like shit, after you broke up with her! You make out with someone else right in front of her, not even a week later. I was wrong, her don't deserve her, you don't deserve anything! A real hero goes on to prove they aren't unworthy, that they are deserving. A hero doesn't back down for his own selfish needs, a hero makes sacrifices, like himself, to save a life. What have you ever done for someone else… oh that's right… nothing!"

"Aaaahh!" Jace pushed the girl away, who shot him a glare and took off. He turned on Seb and backed hi further into the abandoned corner so no one could hear.

"I AM making sacrifices, I sacrificed my girl so she could be happy!"

"No! You sacrificed breaking her heart and you never having to deal with it." A sacrifice is when you jump in from of a train or car before someone gets hit, a sacrifice is saying no to a promotion because someone else worked harder for it, a sacrifice for your girl to be happy, is to sacrifice your mind body and soul at an alter to God and making vows to love her cherish her, in sickness and in health, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, until death do you part! There is nothing in there than says, 'oh except if you're a low-life who is unworthy, than I can break this vow! Instead you destroyed her, broke her, hurt her, for your own selfish reasons. Because you are scared!" Sebastian looked passed Jace then pointed a finger.

"Eventually, because you hurt her so much, she will forget about you, but you will never forget about her no matter how hard you try!"

There was Clary, grinding, and dancing with someone else. Her lips were on him fiercely. His hands all over her, her ass, her face, her thigh.

In a fit of rage, Jace rushed over to her, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the guy. Clary screamed and yelled at him, but he ignored her as he pulled her into the storeroom where they first met.

"What the fuck, Jace!" She screamed so loud, he thought the glass windows would break.

"Calm down." I put a hand out.

"FUCK YOU!" She screamed again. "How is it okay for you to find a total stranger and suck face with them, but it's not okay for me!" She screaming so much that Jace's ears were ringing. She's has been so angry, not sad, not in tears, angry. Every time he is even near her, she insults him, pushes him, all of the above she's done. He thought that perhaps she would see through his play, and realized he still loved her, but no.

She was acting quite different than he expected.

"Clary-"

"You broke up with me!"

"Goddammit, Clary! I'm trying to apologize here, but-"

"I keep interrupted? Who said you had a right to speak? Let alone speak to me after what you are putting me through!"

"I don't know." I threw my hands up in frustration.

"See, if you can't even answer that than why are we here?"

Clary was about to leave, when she thought of something, and stopped dead in her tracks.

"Actually, I'm glad we're here, because I have something to tell you."

"Oh yea? What?"

"I hate you… no… I despise you. And I think I am not the only one…"

"What are you-"

"No!" Clary put her hand up as if it were stopping his voice dead. "Shut up and listen. I hate you because all I have ever done is tried to make you happy. I felt sorry for you, because you grew up without a childhood, and I wanted to bring you happiness! And the Lightwoods wanted to do the same thing. They wanted to give you a family, Christmases, birthdays, all kinds of holidays that you couldn't enjoy with him, and you know what you do? You crumple up out love, like a piece of paper- a piece of trash and you throw it in the can and you spit on it! You don't appreciate anything anyone does for you! No matter what they do for you."

"That's not true!" Jace shouted in anger, but Clary continued.

"Oh yes, it is! Because if it wasn't, we'd still be together, and we wouldn't be having this little discussion! I brought you back from the DEAD!" She screamed that last word. "You know why I did it?" Tears fell from her eyes. "Because I love you! Because I wanted the chance to be with you, ad because you deserved a second chance! No child should ever go without a mother, a father, a childhood, and I thought not only do we deserve to be together, but also that you deserved to be happy. And oh my God, I have never ever been proven so wrong before, until now!"

"Clary I-"

"You know what you did to me?" She screamed, tears pouring like waterfalls down her face. "I gave up my best friend to be with you, I hurt him deeply to be with you. My mom hates you, and fought with her, and said cruel things to her, to be with you. You have any idea how much of a fool you have made me?"

Jace stood in shock, not wanting to move, noting sure of what to say.

"I wish… I wish never met you. I wish I never brought you back that night by the lake. Because If knew then what I knew now. I'd spit on your grave!"

Jace felt and odd pain in his chest, his hand came up to cup as if it would make the pain go away.

"Fuck you, Jace Herondale. You wouldn't even get a funeral now, if you were to drop dead."

And all of the sudden, the pain was severe, and Jace fell to the ground. He gripped his chest not understanding what was happening to him. He pulled his hand away to find blood. Blood? From where? What the hell was going on? He looked up looking for some kind of help from Clary, but all she did was stand there, and watch, and soon turned around ever so slowly, and left him there, while his vision slowly faded. Someone else came into the storeroom when he bent down, he saw Sebastian.

"Congratulations." He said softly. "You've lost everything…"

"What's happening to me?" Jace gasped for pain.

"She took back everything… everything she wished from the Angel… you're dying Jace."

"She-she knew what she was doing… didn't she?" Jace sobbed. "She knew saying those worse would kill me… didn't she?" Sebastian let out a sad sigh, as soon Jace's vision went completely black, not even seeing Sebastian's face anymore….