I am sure to everyone who is here; who is listening to my most inner thoughts and secrets knows that I have many disguises. Opera ghost, Angel, Human, the list never ends! But I bet there is one disguise which even you, my most trusted and faithful followers, have overlooked. Can you guess what it is? No? I thought not. But as I sit here and explain this, I can feel my time coming to an end so why not indulge you all for once? It is not my way, true, but then again even holding an audience is not my way. So what do I have to lose?
My most innermost secret; my most hidden, yet clear, disguise. Why it's the disguise that I am male at all! You did not see that one coming did you? I thought not. I cannot blame you, of course. This is one disguise I took the utmost care in protecting. Why, I killed that damn gypsy just to keep it. You know the one I am speaking of, correct? Javert, the one who thought he could have me? Ha. We saw how far that thought got him. 'Tis a shame, really. To think he could have been the only person to know the touch and feel of my body. But he demanded they be on his terms and that just did not sit well with me at all.
But I digress. You are all wondering what I mean, I am sure. Don't lie to me, I know you are. You are wondering what I am talking about, how could I have possibly pulled something like this off? You are wondering, and are probably guessing, that I am lying to you. Let me assure you, I am not. Allow me to go through a list of examples to show what I mean. I assure you, it could be quite interesting.
First off, my voice. A deep baritone, am I not? But did you pick up on the fact that I can also shift between tenor and bass? Admittedly, I usually do not because even I have some sense of humility, but if you truly are my followers you would know of my unique ability. A trick picked up from that ventriloquist book I received as a child, says you? Not so, says I. True, I did perfect the art from the tutelage of those pages, but it comes with the territory of who I am. You will understand later.
Next, my appearance. You may say this cannot be true because of my physical features. My dears, you are just kidding yourselves. As if one could determine anything from my features. My face hardly exists; pick up a human skull and you will not be able to say if it is male or female. The same scenario applies here. My frame is so completely lanky, consisting of skin pulled taught around bones. It would be hard to say if I am a male or a female from that as well. As for (as I know everyone is thinking) the lack of breasts. Surly you have heard it is possible to bind them flat. Especially if they are hardly there to begin with. A penis? Well, no one ever gets close enough to see if I do have one or not. Not to mention if everything on my body is underdeveloped, that particular appendage would suffer as well, would it not?
And the shortness of my hair? Let me assure you, the hair you are accustomed to is merely a wig. As for the real fibers on my head, it has no option but to be short. Unfortunately, hair growth was also poorly affected from my birth. A wig, to be quite honest, is a must whether male or female. I have just chosen a male wig because the short hair is not caught so easily.
Hmm? My name, you ask? I agree; Erik is inexplicably a male name. But let us not forget under which circumstances I have come by my name. Well, my mother had not found it within her power to give me one so the 'kind' old priest was forced to that task. He did not look me over well enough (can you blame him?) and so I was named after him. Ironic, is it not? To be named after a priest when everyone agrees I belong in Hell. I tell you, you can find irony in anything if you look hard enough.
Forgive me, I have seemed to digress once more. I am not used to company, you must understand. Above all, I am sure, you are questioning my love and devotion for Christine, my little Prime Dona. Before I go one step forward, let me assure you my adoration of her was sincere. Maybe I do not know how to go about such delicate matters in the most appropriate way, but I do hope you were able to see I wished nothing but the best for her; ergo letting her leave, after all my hard work, with that de Chagney boy. A servant of the light should not be chained to the master of darkness. Yes, I assume it is safe to say I loved her. I do not have to be male to have feelings for a female, do I? Yes, I know the topic is taboo, but you cannot deny people with those feelings are out there. But once more, you will come to understand more clearly in a matter of moments.
Well, have you figured it out yet, or should I drop a few more hints? I swear, usually I can read people perfectly, and you all wear nothing but a look of confusion. Maybe I can see a face here or there that seems to be understanding, but I get the feeling, as a whole, everyone is utterly lost? It is okay, I did not fully understand either until I got my hands on some medical books. Did you get it now?
Well, I see some people just do not understand. So how can I pull off being a male when I sit here and tell you that just is not so? The answer is actually quite simple. Though rare, it's not completely unheard of. Well, to just come out and say it, I am what is known as a hermaphrodite. Hermaphroditism is actually very common in plants, and some animals. It seems only fitting that I should fall under the same category, no? I am sure everyone here knows what a hermaphrodite is – an organism born with both male and female sex organs. So yes, I am not male, I am both.
That is why I can pull off being a male so effortlessly. The only way I can explain it is that I was ultimately meant to be a son, but as everything else went wrong, why not the union of the egg and sperm? My mother did not like to face the fact of other things being wrong with me, so I was raised as a son. She had confessed she always wanted a son. I was not the son she had asked for, but she was able to make me a son nonetheless.
In my rebellious youth, I had the plan of shredding every bit that would make me appear a man and become a woman instead, mainly just to spite my mother. But as I grew older and I read the many books I could acquire, I came to realize males, in any species, were always considered dominant. People were more often to think the males as the stronger and, honestly, I could not give that up. I learned early on the meaning of self-preservation and I soon began to realize there was a better chance of protecting myself if I was thought to be a man instead of a woman. No telling what Javert would have done had I been made up to be female when the gypsies captured me.
Sitting here, I believe I have come to realize, truthfully, I was meant to be male all along. Had my time inside the womb not been so disastrous I would have come out a healthy baby boy. I must admit, from the beginning my thoughts have been relatively masculine. I am aware of the fact I exude masculinity. Maybe that explains why most of you listening to me are female? I also must admit I do not understand your morbid fascination with me, but I felt the need to throw fuel on the fire. Were you, indeed, fascinated with me before? Are you now? I could not blame any one of you for getting up and walking away from this information.
I have never been able to explain why I look the way I look and why I am the way I am, but I have my speculations. I do know my father died early in the pregnancy and my mother did not handle his death too well. Her depressionistic ways could have very well caused the lack of development in me, the fetus. She could have also come into contact with some harmful parasite which attacked only me. Or there truly is a devil and I am nothing but his spawn. Whatever it may be, here I am.
Human always assume they have me figured out. But, in the end, I always have the last laugh. I am having my final laugh right now, watching all of your faces contort with disgust, awe, or whatever else you may be feeling. Honestly, did it come as that much of a shock to you, that what appears obvious is not always what it seems?
FIN
A/N – Well, this came out interesting, if I do say so myself. I honestly don't know how I actually got the inspiration for this story. I was just looking at random POTO pictures and the first few lines of this popped into my head. I just couldn't resist. Please, please, tell me what you think. However, before you throw bashing messages at me about all the scientific and biological happenings of hermaphrodites, please reconsider. This is not meant to be a medical prognosis. Hence 'fiction'. If you would like to clear something up, feel free, but derogatory flames won't get you anywhere. Thanks!
