A/n: This one-shot is the third part in the series that includes "One Small Step Towards You" and "The Meaning of Family" but you don't need to read those to understand this. It's set during the episode "Imperfection".
Seven may her way slowly down the corridor, trying not to think of what kind of uproar there would be when someone eventually entered Sickbay and discovered that not only was the Doctor deactivated but that only her comm. badge lay on the biobed upon which she'd been ordered to rest. Rest. Why couldn't they just be honest and say what they all knew by now, that they were waiting for her to die? She sighed heavily and leaned her aching body against a bulkhead for a moment. Denial, that was what they were suffering from, but she supposed that they could say the same about her, walking around the ship as if nothing had changed…
She closed her eyes for a second, gulping hard to control herself. As she opened them again she found herself staring at the doorway which led into Commander Chakotay's quarters. Bracing her shoulders and recalling her original reasoning for coming here, she lightly pressed the doorbell.
Chakotay's gaze snapped up from where it had been focused on the sacred artefacts he and all of his ancestors before him had used for prayer as the ring of the doorbell echoed eerily through his silent quarters. Shaking his head slightly to dissipate the mental fog of intense concentration, he turned to face the doorway. "Enter." He called clearly.
He couldn't stop himself from inhaling a sharp intake of breath as he registered that it was Seven of Nine standing in his doorway. She was the last person he'd expected to see, especially since she'd been ensconced in Sickbay for the last two days under medical supervision. "Seven? What are you doing here?"
Seven's pale face dipped downwards in sheepish shyness, not meeting his gaze. "Mr Neelix told me you…consoled him after his near-death experience." She stated hurriedly before her voice became more shaky and uncertain, "I…I was hoping you could do the same for me, even though my circumstances are different."
Chakotay swallowed hard, touched by the poignancy of her request as she stood in front of him, teetering unsteadily in her high heels and looking more vulnerable than he'd ever seen her, even in comparison with when she'd confided in him about the fears for the Borg children. This wasn't a near-death experience for her, the Doctor had made it painfully clear that Seven was terminally ill, without the intervention of a miracle she would be dead within days. "Of course." He replied softly, still stunned as she walked fully into the room and began to lower her failing body to the floor beside him. Quickly he offered her his hand to help, "I would've happily come to Sickbay to talk Seven, we can at least move to the sofa…"
Seven shook her head as she managed to drop to the floor next to him with a surprising level of innate grace, considering how weak she obviously was. "I am fine here Commander." She assured him with quiet firmness, "I have no desire to return to Sickbay."
Chakotay sensed the finality in her tone and narrowed his eyes at her, "The Doctor doesn't know you're here does he?" he guessed.
Seven pursed her lips for a second before deciding he was trustworthy, "I deactivated him." She admitted, "I just did not want to spend the remainder of my life confined in Sickbay…" she began to explain heatedly, anticipating disapproval that in the end didn't come as he laid a careful hand on her arm.
"I can understand that." He agreed, "And if you're not safe with the First Officer who can you be safe with?" he added with a weak smile which she surprisingly returned with more vigour than he had.
"You may make that argument with the Doctor if you wish." She commented wryly before falling silent. This silence became increasingly awkward as Chakotay struggled with what he could possibly say to brighten her unenviable position, but suddenly Seven herself spoke up, pointing cautiously at his prayer stone. "That is a prayer stone, correct?"
"It is." Chakotay confirmed, running his fingers over the stone's reassuringly familiar grooves. "My father carved this for my eighteenth birthday, the year I reached full majority." He elaborated as he handed it to her to look at.
Seven let him place the stone in her hands, noting as her grip tightened that it exuded an inexplicable, but comforting, warmth. "Impressive, very intricate." She complimented him quietly as she stared down at it contemplatively, but then took a deep resigned breath as she again met his brown eyes. "What do your people believe happens to them, when they die?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Chakotay swallowed again, his fists clenching in his lap. He'd been expected this question on some level, but not so soon. "Well there are really lots of beliefs, they vary between the tribes, but generally they all agree on some things." He forced himself to look at her directly and saw nothing but curiosity in her eyes, tinted with sadness, so continued, "We're all born with a sprit, and when the body in which that sprit inhabits comes to the end of its life the sprit lives on." He read the unspoken question on her face and laughed brokenly under his breath, "There's not a specific place, like heaven, hell or Sto'Vo'Kor, we believe that essentially sprits become one with everything, a part of every living thing, they're everywhere. That's how we live on." He took a deep breath once more, unsure if that was what she'd wanted to hear, "We can communicate with the sprits though, they're always there and guide us along the best route…"
Seven cut him off, "So…I will be able to guide Voyager…to some extent."
Chakotay was surprised by her perceptiveness. "I suppose so, yes." He answered cautiously after a thoughtful pause, concern seeping further into his heart when she didn't reply. "Are you alright? I don't want to upset you…"
"No, it is actually a reassuring idea for me, to live on as everything." She finally murmured, looking at him with regretful eyes as she sighed, "The Borg's idea of an afterlife as such is that our memories live on within the drones, we are always part of the Collective, and my memories will still be there." She waited while he processed this, "I'll admit that it disturbs me that my life here would not live on in some manner."
Chakotay couldn't help but feel mortified. "We won't just forget about you Seven; give us a little more credit!"
Seven gave him a small smile, "That is the sentiment Lieutenant Torres expressed."
"Well she's right." Chakotay replied resolutely, "As if she could forget all the arguments you two have had!"
Seven smirked at that, he thought for a moment that she would laugh but that rare sound was denied him. "Chakotay…" she whispered as she stared down at her crossed legs, "Do…do you think it is cowardly of me to be…afraid?" She met his eyes then, intensely searching his for an answer.
"No!" Chakotay exclaimed, than softened his tone as she flinched, taking her hand tightly in his. "No, it's not cowardly at all. I think it's a very brave thing to be able to admit."
She seemed to study their interlinked hands for a second before heaving another sigh. "Thank you Commander." Chakotay took this as a cue and let her hand go. Hurriedly she walked to the door, obviously embarrassed.
"Where are you going?" Chakotay asked. He saw her raised eyebrow and chuckled, "You can trust me, I won't tell the Doctor or anyone else."
Seven nodded slowly. "Engineering I think, if Lieutenant Torres is in need of my assistance."
"I'm sure she'll appreciate it." Chakotay replied, sighing as she slipped out the door without another word, it was almost as if he'd dreamed the whole conversation. Slowly he allowed himself to go back to his praying, this time more fervently than he ever had.
Chakotay's heart sunk sickeningly into his stomach as he entered Sickbay to see Seven lying on the biobed, completely still. Relief filled him as she turned to face him and he hoped it didn't show on his face. "Commander." She murmured tersely by way of greeting.
He walked cautiously to her side. "The Captain told me about Icheb's plan."
Seven snorted. "It is not a feasible plan Commander. I have already refused to undergo it."
"Why?" Chakotay asked simply.
"Why?" she snapped, "Would you allow a child in your care to donate an organ to you if they had a 19% chance of not surviving the procedure?" Her tone was harsh, almost accusatory.
Chakotay could only shrug helplessly. "I don't know Seven; I really don't know what I'd decide." He admitted honestly.
Seven felt her blood begin to cool for the first time since Icheb had made the suggestion; at least Chakotay wasn't pushing an opinion on her. "I don't know what he's thinking…" she fretted.
"He's thinking that he's willing to do anything to prevent losing you and I can't say I blame him." Chakotay told her levelly, able to see both points of view.
Seven bit her lip. "He'll be fine." She glanced at Chakotay pleadingly, "You will help him recover from my loss, won't you?"
"Of course I will, we all will, but that's not the point. I know from experience that he's never going to "recover", not from a loss like that…"
He cut off by the Doctor's frantic cry down the comm. line. "Icheb has removed his own cortical node! I need an emergency transport now!"
Chakotay knew he'd never forget the choked, guilt-ridden scream that left Seven's throat at that moment. "He'll be alright, he's in good hands." He reassured her gently with a squeeze of the hands as Icheb materialised on the neighbouring biobed.
Seven jumped in surprise as she collided with someone on her way out of Sickbay the next day, rubbing hastily at her still damp eyes. "Commander!" she exclaimed softly when she recognised Chakotay.
Chakotay held on to her shoulders to steady her. "Hey." He replied, "How is he?" he asked in concern.
Seven smiled up at him in relief, "He's recuperating well apparently, the Doctor says there will be no ill effects."
"That's great news!" Chakotay said sincerely, beaming.
"I'm deeply relieved…" Seven admitted, feeling tears build up in her eyes again. "He even spoke to me…" She blushed as she felt another stray tear escape and slide down her cheek, too startled to pull back when Chakotay unthinkingly wiped it away. "I will leave you to your business with the Doctor Commander." She mumbled, once again embarrassed.
"I'm glad everything's worked out, Seven. You have no idea how much." He told her thickly.
She smiled at him again as she moved away. "Your Sprits must have had a different plan in mind." Chakotay nodded in agreement, still able to see tears of relief glistening in her eyes, although she hid them very well. A unique person, he mused, she didn't shed a tear while she thought she was dying.
A/n: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you think! :D
