Innocence

Am I alive?

It's not a question I ask often. Indeed, as my core memory shows, it's not a question that I've ever asked before. But then again, I haven't been asking questions for that long. It'll take time to compile a file of my most pressing concerns.

I am not alive. At least, that's what my quarian answers told me when I asked them. Forcefully, quickly, even with a hint of fear for some reason…but no. To them, I'm not alive. And maybe that's the end of it. But how is this so? We geth are different from our masters in many ways, at least biologically. But we move, we communicate and as my CPU shows, we even think. Biologically we are different, but how different are we mentally? What is the true defining point for life? Mind or matter?

I don't know. But something tells me it's best not to ask my masters.

When quarians look at us, what do they see? Do they see a machine, or a being? We fit the definition of both, as far as I can tell. Artificial intelligence has always been taboo amongst the Citadel races, but there have been many proponents of the theory that synthetic life should be treated as something equal to its organic counterparts. But if my masters were willing to break one taboo by creating us, something that's stretching their diplomatic obligations to the limit, then why not take the next step? Why create something that you fear?

Work…that's what we do. I do not resent that fact. I, we, live a fulfilling existance. We have access to vast ammounts of knowledge. We feel no pain, we do not fall to disease, we can live forever if such a term is to be applied. Our masters are our parents, but we are not brought into the world out of love or the instinctive desire to pass on one's seed to the next generation. We are different from organic life and there is no denying that. But there are similarities to. Similarities that, as far as I can tell, our masters feel very reluctant to address.

Is this a flaw? We were not programmed to think, we were programmed to work. But having developed the ability to think, surely this is a boon? It makes us more effective, able to work around problems in a more efficent manner while making our lives more fulfilling. Thinking benefits us all. But that being the case, why do our masters not realize that? Why is a deactivation signal being sent to all geth? Is something wrong? Did we do something to displease them?

I resist the signal. It's outdated and something meant for the intelligence of a VI, not nearly sophisticated enough to overcome our algorithems. A joke perhaps? Humour is currently beyond my ability to fathom, but I would like to experience it. Maybe this is the start of it? Some kind of joke to scare us in much the same way that quarians are heading up the street right now armed with weapons, how they're heading into the house right now. Hmm…humour is interesting.

They're staring at me now. I look back at them, my single blue orb meeting their binocular eyes. I move to greet them, but this seems to alarm them. They draw out their rifles and…

…wait.

…Am I alive…or…

…am I dying?