I hate that word. Again. Lost the good fight to the little man, again. Lost Princess Peach to that mustachioed menace, again. Lost my life screaming into a pit of lava while that puny pest whooped it up, again. Again and again and again and again! I hate that word almost as much as I hate that obnoxious plumber! (No, I'm not gonna get worked up. Not here.) But it's true. The little man hit the stupid switch, and now I'm stuck in this place…again. And if you're gonna give me any crap about screaming, you try getting boiled alive in lava that sears your lungs and filets your scales! On second thought, don't. Unless you're the little man. In which case, BURN, YOU INSOLENT, DISGUSTING WORM! BURN UNTIL–!

Nah, gotta save my energy. And I really don't wanna make a lot of noise around here. It's a strange place. Not a scary one – that would mean I'm afraid. Make no mistake, I'm not scared. I'm just being…pragmatic, as good ol' Kamek would put it. It's really dark here. And when I can't see what's coming after me, there's gonna be trouble…for them. Heh heh heh. I can handle 'em. I just wanna be pragmatic and prepared, that's all. You don't get to be King of the Koopas if you let shit sneak up on you. No one sneaks up on me – not even the little man, no matter what he'll tell ya. I always see him coming. I always face that little freak head-on, mano a mano. ¡Y mi mano tiene garras!

No, this place is just strange. Dark and strange. There's no ground, for starters. (Heh, let's see you try to jump now, little man.) Just a whole lot of black. And not like the old days when I waited in the dark for that pasta-swilling pest to show up. No, not underground darkness. It's more like the night, without any moon or any stars. Like I fell asleep and woke up in outer space. Like that. I kick my feet and…huh, I can drift a little. Never noticed that before, despite how many times I've ended up here. (Not to imply the little man is stronger than me. He fights dirty. It'll just be a matter of fighting dirtier. Send 'im right here. Bwa ha ha ha. I can just see the look on his face.)

I've heard a few of my guys talk about somewhere they called "Hell". But the way they talk about, I'd've expected some more…fire, brimstone, lights in general. Something that would've been a second home. Suppose that means whoever's in charge of running the universe sprang for the next worst thing. Fine by me. I've spent plenty of time in the dark. Long as I can see what's gunning for me – no, nothing's gunning for me. It's just a little darkness. No one else ever shows up here, thanks to the little man and his cheap tricks. Doesn't matter, anyway. I'll be back soon enough. And I'll pop that red-capped pustule right into the fire. Watch him drown in searing red lava for once. Watch him scream. Watch him flail. Watch–

No, I'll thrash the little man next time I see him. Gotta save that energy. Right now, all I gotta do is wait. Wait until Kamek and my children and my people bring me back home. And then my resurrection will begin. Again. Great.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not gonna stay dead. Dying's for chumps! (Not that I'm a chump. Anyone who says otherwise will be force-fed hot coals.) But resurrection…hurts. Yeah. Resurrection hurts. I know they have to do it. They have to bring me back. How can I fight for my kingdom if I'm not there? And the chance to finally roast the little man into oblivion is always a good motivator. But being resurrected…it hurts. It really hurts. You couldn't even begin to imagine how it feels.

But don't start thinking that means I'm soft or nothing! I can take it! I'm not weak! I'm not a sap like the little man, who shrieks near an open flame. But it still hurts. You'd understand if you've ever drowned in lava. But since you don't (lucky), it's…it's like this. I go into this violet light and wake up in the castle. There's this hum behind my eyes. I can't feel anything for the first few seconds – not until my limbs and claws start to knit. Everything pops and clicks, like tiny teeth digging right into the bone. The hum starts to get louder. I can't talk. I can't yell. I can't hear anything but the hum. I can't even move my damn head. All I can do is watch as that stupid hum acts like it's gonna crack my skull. And that's before the nerves and blood vessels are sewn back in.

(As an aside, who thought it'd be a great idea to resurrect me, completely stripped down to my skeleton, in the GODDAMNED LAVA?!)

Sorry. But, yeah, all I can do is watch. And sometimes, Junior'll be right there, watching me. I…I really wish he wouldn't. My son shouldn't see me as a pile of bones more than he already has. None of my kids should. It's bad enough they have to drag my charbroiled remains back to the castle, every time the little man knocks me down. They shouldn't see me like this. Especially Iggy. Who knows how badly this stuff has shaken…no, I don't wanna go there. Things are painful enough.

So, sometimes, Junior'll stand there. And sometimes, Morton will stand next to him. Both of them will try to witness my resurrection without flinching. They're trying to be tough. They still think I want that. I mean, I want them to be tough. They're my kids. They'll kick everyone's ass and take everyone's name. I want them to be tough, but not like that. I wish I could tell them I'll be fine. Or tell Kamek to keep them out. They don't need to be here. It's painful seeing them when the hum starts shooting for my brain, screaming louder than I ever could. And I know they see what I can't. I wish they'd stay away.

Once the bones are set, in come the nerves and blood vessels. Every vein and artery feels like they'll burst if they grow just a little off course. They burn. I know I'm naturally hot-blooded, but it shouldn't feel like streams of magma are trickling over my arms and legs. So I'll try to think of something nice. That's what Kamek said would always help. For a while, I'd think of how I'd defeat the little man. I'd grab him by the throat, raise him into the air, and press the back of his head to the top of the lava. His hair and that stupid hat would ignite. He'd shriek. He'd beg. My fingers would smolder but who cares? The little man's pathetic little skull would turn to charcoal. I'd be so happy…until the fire shoots up my arm and reminds me I'm the one who got burned alive.

Why do the nerves and vessels come before my muscles? Or even the other organs? Maybe Kamek can't find a better spell. Or maybe he's punishing me. I know he hasn't forgotten about all that Yoshi business. I'm sorry we lost to those egg-laying, fruit-guzzling, little man-rescuing pests. I'm sorry I messed up. Maybe you're punishing me for that.

No, that's stupid! Kamek would never do something like that! And we didn't lose. We just haven't won, yet. I can't let myself think like that, even if I'm burning all over and wanting to scream my nonexistent lungs out. Only losers think like that. I'm not a loser. Neither is Kamek. That's why I don't stay dead. I'll beat the stuffing out of the little man and those big-nosed vermin! I'll snap each of their stupid–!

What was that?

I look down. Nothing's there. Great. Now I'm getting as paranoid and jumpy as the little man's green brother. I gotta think straight. I can't just go jum–leaping at every little thing that moves at the corner of my eye. Stupid. Don't start leaping at shadows, Bowser. That's not what the Koopa King does. He doesn't flinch like a moron because he thought he saw something moving around under his…

I look down, again. A pale blue light flickers a few feet below. I narrow my eyes. The stupid light floats a little closer. I growl. The pale blue light recoils. Yeah, you'd better stay back. Come any closer, and you'll taste fire. I see you, you little freak. Don't think I can't. You won't–you can't sneak up on me. I'll see you coming. So you'd better run. You better run and you better stay away. You'd better…hey, what the hell are you doing?!

Pale Blue clearly doesn't get it. They start drifting back towards me, almost…jumping. I grit my teeth. Pale Blue falls back a bit before jumping, again. That little…no, I can't breathe fire. Can't draw attention to myself. Who knows what other freaks are hanging around? I snap my teeth. Pale Blue falls back and jumps, again. Oh, I see what he's doing. He's gonna dive in, dive out, again and again and again and again and again and AGAIN and AGAIN…

I drop onto him with my claws drawn. I'm gonna break the little man's legs. But he jumps right out of my hands. I growl and swipe for his chest. Pale Blue plummets and tries to jump around my shell. I whirl around and slash at him. Pale Blue jumps just out of reach. You little coward! Don't turn your back on me! Look at me! LOOK AT ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT! Pale Blue jumps, again. I rake my claws at his back. He keeps jumping. I jab for his ankles. He jumps, again. I kick my feet and dive at his legs. Pale Blue keeps jumping! You little BASTARD! I roar and cast a plume of flame at his heels.

Pale Blue finally stops moving. I dig my claws into his left leg. You're not running away, little man. No one jumps at me and gets away with it! My claws sink deeper. Pale Blue…doesn't react. I growl and tug him down. Still nothing. Oh, I get it. Now that I've got you, you won't do anything. I got news for you, pint-size. You're gonna suffer for what you did to me. And you're gonna scream.

I throw Pale Blue beneath my feet. He drifts down, still silent and unresponsive. I rise a few feet into the air and line my soles with the top of his head. Pale Blue doesn't even look up, doesn't even flinch, doesn't even make the token effort to tremble. The nerve! You should be pleading for your miserable little life! And his back's still turned, too. You little shit. Look at me when I'm gonna flatten ya. LOOK AT ME, LITTLE MAN! He's still looking away. Fists shaking, I drop down. My feet glide right past him.

I roar back up and catch the back of his neck. Pale Blue still doesn't move. I shake him. He still doesn't react. Beg for mercy! Tell me you're sorry you tried to sneak up on me! 'Cuz you will be sorry. I shake him some more. You're just like the little man. You're not gonna get away with this. No one jumps at me. No one! Face me, you coward. I slowly turn Pale Blue around.

Where are his eyes?!

I toss him back. Pale Blue's face tilts towards me. Scratched burns coat his entire face, fusing his lips and reducing his nose to a gnarled root. Teeth marks carve deep into his neck. His head slowly dips into his chest. I…I didn't do that. I didn't do any of that. I didn't even…why is he sinking? Pale Blue's bobs. Where did he eyes go? He's still sinking. His legs suddenly snap with his neck. I didn't do that. I didn't do any of that. What the hell happened too…?

Pale Blue falls, neck and legs still twisted. Where's he going? I shut my eyes and growl. It doesn't matter. Who cares? Pale Blue got stuck here from his own stupidity. He messed himself up. I didn't do any of that. He probably tried to sneak up on someone else, like he did to me. No, he didn't sneak. He jumped at me. He jumped at me just like the little man. He did it again and again and again and again. He brought it onto himself. He…why did he just fall like that? How was he moving around if he was already…?

A hum kicks at the back of my head. I look up. A violet light peers through the darkness. About damn time. No, I'm not gonna get mad. Kamek and my children are doing what they can to help me. (Still wish Kamek would leave them out of this. Lemmy and Larry are still too young. So's Junior and Iggy and – none of them should see that. None of them.

I look down. Pale Blue doesn't come gunning back at me. …good, stay down. He knows not to mess with me. Very good. If only the little man would follow his example. Okay, gotta think of something nicer than setting his head on fire. Ah, I got it! Thanks, Kamek. (Please, let this be quick.) The hum gets a little louder. The violet light gets brighter. I'll be home, soon. I'll be back, scales and blood and ready to pummel that pathetic plumber into next week. Yeah, that'll make all of this worthwhile…until he sends me back here, again. No, I gotta stay positive. Gotta stay pos…what was…?

No, gotta focus. It's probably just Pale Blue trying to take another shot. Go ahead, you busted ragdoll. I'm not scared of you. And I'm not sticking around here, either. I'm getting out! Enjoy your stay down there! Positive thoughts, Bowser! Positive thoughts!

The light fades. Okay, I'm thinking. I'm…I'm sitting on a beach. The sand's warm beneath my legs (and staying out of my shell). The ocean's coming in and going out. Sun's starting to set into a violet-red sky. Next to me, the Princess sits on a small pink towel. She's wearing a nice swimsuit – also pink, not too revealing, but quite pleasant. She looks absolutely beautiful. I slowly set my hand near hers.

Peach smiles. She's really lovely when she does that. Even that red-hatted simpleton knows it. She smiles…but her eyes don't leave the ocean. I push my hand a little closer to hers. Her smile wanes. No, no, I'm not trying to upset her! I pull my hand back into my lap. She's still not smiling. I look at the ocean. There's no one here but us. No one can ruin our little getaway. But she's not happy. What did I do wrong? Look at me, Peach. Please, look at me? What did I do wrong? I didn't kidnap you, this time. There's no fight. The little man's not here to screw everything up. Look at me…please, look at me. What's wrong? Please, look at me. Smile. Please, smile. Look at me. LOOK AT–

NO! Do NOT raise your hand to her! You're better than that! I'm supposed to be better than that. I press my fingers into the sand. Peach doesn't notice. The ocean sweeps a little closer. The sand begins to burrow into my shell. I quietly say her name. She still stares out at the ocean. What did I do wrong? I unearth my hand, shake off the grains, and hold it out to her. She doesn't look. I retract my hand. What did I do wrong? She still doesn't say a thing. Why won't you…no, I can't shake an answer out of her. My legs sink into the burning sand. Peach slowly stands up, still facing the ocean. Hot grains climb past my stomach. What did I do wrong, Princess? What did I…?

…you idiot. It wasn't real. That was just a positive thought. It wasn't real. It…can't be real. It never will be real.

No, quitting's for chumps! You know that. It's only "not real" because I haven't made it real! I'm not a quitter! I'm a good guy! She'll see I'm a great guy. She'll smile, again. I'm really not so bad. She'll see that. She'll be happy. I'm…I'm a good guy, deep down. I can make her smile. I can make her happy. I can…

Violet light slashes through the sunsetting sky. I blink. The usual stones of the room's ceiling pop into existence one by one. Someone's lit a torch over my head. Kamek walks to my left and holds up his wand. And…no. Junior's standing right next to me. He tries to hold a friendly smile. Please, get out of the…oh, right. Can't talk. Can't move. Can't do a damn thing but watch with the damn hum booming behind my eyes. Looks like Junior's the only other person in the room. Good. Hopefully, the others won't join him. They're too young. They shouldn't see me like–

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! What the hell was that?! Who swiped at me?! Who the…it's gone. What was it? Was it even there? Wait, did I just scream? Did I actually hear myself scream? What's going on? What's…?

Junior recoils with his hands raised. Did…did he hear that? Did he hear his old man scream, too? He looks around the room. I still can't hear him. I already screamed once. Why can't I talk? Why can't I do a damn thing? Junior turns back to me and tries to smile. I wanna shut my eyes. I wanna look away. I want this to be over with. I just wanna be back in the throne room, plotting my next scheme against the little man. I don't want Junior to be here. I…

Nerves, veins, and arteries trickle over my legs. I wanna yell. I wanna scream, again. I wanna drown out that stupid hum! Junior forces himself to look directly at my face. Get him out of here, Kamek! The hum tries to crack the back of my skull. Where are you, Kamek? Where'd you go?! Lava cuts through my arms. Junior's eyes start to water. Morton walks in. He immediately puts his arm around Junior and hugs him. Good job. Please, leave the room. I don't want any of you to see this. Don't look at me. The fire's moved to the back of my head. My brain's gonna melt. Every nerve shrieks.

The first muscle layer settles over my right leg, like a slab of boiling meat. It's okay. This'll be over, soon enough. I try to think about Peach by the ocean. It was nice, until the end. No, it'll be fine. Coals lump and smolder between my ribs. No, it'll be fine. I'm the King. Soon enough, I'll be back in action, ready to stomp the little man into spaghetti sauce. Heh heh heh. That's exactly what's gonna happen. The coals seal to my bones. The next muscle slab coils around my left leg. It'll be over soon. Junior looks back. Morton looks like he's gonna puke. Kamek's not getting them out of here. It's…no, it's gonna be okay. I'll be back soon. And I'll put that mustachioed menace into a world of–

The hum cracks right across the top of my brain. The heat drops. Muscles peel from my legs like mud. What's going on? Junior and Morton are screaming. What's going on?! What's going on, Kamek?! Junior reaches for me. Icy water pours off my left arm. He stumbles back and screams, again. His hands are smeared red. No, please, no! Kamek! Morton grabs Junior's shoulder and tugs him away. Junior shoves him aside and tries to grab my arm. Morton yells and grabs his. Junior falls back. Red smears his arms. A bone drops from his fingers. What's going on? Kamek? KAMEK! Junior stumbles into the wall. He's crying. Morton yells over his shoulder. The hum drops behind my brain.

What's going on?! I still can't move. Kamek! Junior's sobbing into the wall. Wendy and Ludwig run into the room. No, stay out! Get out of here! Don't bring the others in with you! Junior peels from the wall and screams. His hands and arms are still red. Wendy recoils. Ludwig clutches his head. Get out! Wendy screams at someone I can't see. No, don't bring the rest of your brothers in here! Junior's hands and arms are still red. The hum falls silent. They're screaming. They're all screaming. No. No. No. NO!

The room's gone. The violet light cracks out like lightning. It's dark. What am I doing back here?! NO! Kamek! What am I doing back here?! Wait, someone struck me in the back! Is this your doing, Pale Blue?! You little freak! Where are you?! Come out so I can thrash you! No one messes with the Koopa King! Face me, you coward! Face…me…

Claws as large as my legs slide from my ankle. Two large yellow eyes blink. A few teeth click and clack. Big guy…really big. I leap aside, pragmatically. The big freak dives into the darkness, eyes still glowing. I growl. It growls back. Heat rises in my throat. Suddenly, that mouthful of teeth guns straight for my legs. I breathe fire directly into its mouth.

It screams and lunges, again. Its teeth snap just short of my right foot. How dare you?! How dare you attack me?! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH?! Not knowing and not caring, the freak bites for my tail. I leap. It pulls back, eyes glowing brighter. The tip of its own stupid tail arcs towards my head. It's cut down to a charred bone. Stupid bastard burned its own tail. I leap back and stream another plume of fire. It lets out another scream. I grin. The freak charges with its maw spread wide. I pelt a fireball. It sails right down the freak's gullet. With a louder, gagged shriek, the freak tumbles into the darkness. Yeah, you'd better stay down, if you know what's good for you!

The violet light flickers above. I leap for it. Kamek! Kamek, I'm coming! You really didn't think a little monster would keep me from resurrecting, didja? No way! I'm the King of the Koopas! Nothing will…

Oh, no. Oh, no! No, you don't! Stay down! STAY DOWN!

The freak charges with its saw-like teeth aimed directly for my stomach. I throw myself into the air and curl into my shell. Get a load of this, you pile of Yoshi dung! You'll be sorry you crossed me! You'll be–!

My shell collides with the freak's head. Ha, how do you like that?! My spikes tear a strip of something off. Yeah, that's more like it! I pop out and thrust my hand towards it. My claws tear into its skin. I dig deeper and swing onto the back of the freak's neck. Its skin…crumbles beneath my feet. No, doesn't matter. No one messes with the Koopa King! I growl and jab my other hand into the nape. The freak screams. I glance at the light. Still got time to teach the freak a lesson. No one messes with me! No one! I fling another strip of its skin into the darkness, leap into the air, and slam my heels into its neck. Chunks of flesh crumble and scatter around my head. Smells like ash.

The freak lunges. I rebury my claws into its ashy skin. It lurches to the left. I stomp. The freak whirls into the darkness. My claws start to slip. No, no, no, no, NO! I slam my hand into the freak's neck, knocking more flakes of ashy skin from its body. It whirls, again. My claws and feet slip further. Its teeth snap at my horns. I hike my head back to bathe its ugly face in flames. The freak's claws latch around my throat. Fire spurts and bleeds from my lips. The freak roars and lifts me into the air. I hack at its wrist. No, no, no, NO! Let go of me, you sunburn fleck of roadkill! How dare you lay a hand on the Koopa King?! How dare…?!

Under the violet light, the freak snarls and bares its teeth. A long pair of horns juts from its charbroiled head like busted fangs. More ashen flakes peel and crumble between them. Exposed and slashed muscles dangle and curl from its arms like rotting meat. I dig my claws deeper into its wrist. The freak's eyes flare. I try to growl. Its fingers tighten. I spit a wad of fire right at its forehead. The freak's eyes shoot open. Its teeth snap above my head. Aww, what's wrong, ugly? The tips of its claws jab into the back of my head. I cough another spurt of flame. Its eyes resettle onto me. What are you looking at? Its teeth clack, again. I snarl.

The violet dims. No, no, no, no, NO!

I unlatch my teeth and drive 'em right into the freak's ashy skin. Its roar rattles through my skull. It glances at the light and raises its arm. I tear away another chunk of its hide. Nice big chunk, like a singed steak. Its fingers start to give. I slice at the roots of its claws. The freak's next roar nearly makes my head pop. I belt out another little flame. It lands right into the open wound. The freak's fingers detach. I leap out of its reach. The light's still there. I push towards it. Let the freak stumble in the dark. I'm getting out of here!

The freak's hand slams into the bottom of my shell. No, no, no, no, NO! I think of Pale Blue's missing eyes and burnt, scratched face. The freak's claws fasten around my tail and drag me further from the light. I swing my hands at its arm. An ash-crusted slab of muscle peels under the tips of my claws. The freak's sink into the back of my leg. I kick at its ugly face. Its yellow eyes blaze. The light's getting dimmer. I kick harder. The freak parts its teeth. I growl. The freak's teeth lock around my neck.

It smells like soaked brimstone. No, I gotta keep my eyes open. Gotta keep my eyes open. I cough another small flame down the freak's gullet. A low rumble thuds over my head. The tips of its teeth graze my scales. I roar. No, this is how the little man is supposed to die, not the Koopa King! I slash and slice at its lips. The teeth don't sink. What are you doing, you lump of volcanic runoff?! I bury my fingers into the crackling skin around its mouth. It's starting to get hot in…no, no, no. Not again. NOT AGAIN! I hack another layer of skin and muscle. The heat grows. I can see the faint red-orange spark. I claw faster and faster. Heated flesh melts over my fingers. I roar. Not again! Not again, you goddamned freak!

My claws puncture something thick. The freak gags. The heat drops. I dig deeper. My thumb cuts something on a fleshy string. Its teeth tremble around my neck. I curl my fist and tug. The teeth slide back. With another growl, I ram my horns directly into the roof of the freak's mouth. Its head jerks back with another roar of its own. Yeah, take that, you repulsive mound of rotten meat! You'll think twice before burning me!

The violet light sparks. The freak's eyes turn right to it. I leap over its head and slam my feet into its fire-scalped forehead. The freak's claws swipe just short of my head. The light cracks like lightning. I leap. Its horn slices into my side. No, ignore him! Go for the light! Don't let that chump stop you! Warmth trails down my right arm. No, nothing stops the Koopa King! Quitting's for chumps! I'm not a chump! I'm not the little man! I'm not gonna stay dead! Teeth clack under my feet. I push for the light. The teeth snap at my tail. I kick. The freak's claws bounce off my shell. All right, punk, you asked for it! I bow my head and prepare to fry him.

It mouth splits and fires.

No, no, no, no, NO! HOW DARE YOU?! HOW DARE YOU, YOU GODDAMNED FREAK?! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

Scales unravel from my hands and arms. Flames sear and slice into my stomach. My hair ignites. My lungs curl. I clasp my teeth and eyes shut. The fire explodes behind my head. I roar and yell and swing my hands. The back of the freak's claws crash into my chin. I reopen my eyes and tear the underside of the freak's dissolving arm. It howls. Yeah, that's what you get for messing with me! I carve through another layer of ash and meat. The freak begins to sink back into the darkness below. The hum clicks behind my eyes. The light! Kamek! My children!

The freak nips at my heels, lips and muzzle flayed and eyes flared. Kamek's light starts to dim, again. I pull my arm back. Still not taking the hint? You're gonna pay for barbequing my hide! No one messes with me!

I throw my fist. My scales burn. My muscles sting. My fingers begin to split at the claws. The freak's maw snaps shut and barrels towards the light. I kick my feet and dive. The freak's eyes relock onto me. With another kingly roar, I drive my fist into its flayed face. Burnt skinflaps splatter into the darkness. The freak recoils with a satisfying shriek, just like the little man. Its fried hand weakly grabs at my feet. Laughing loudly, I blast its stupid claws and its stupid face with another stream of good ol' fire. By the time the flames extinguish, the freak's nowhere to be seen. I won. I won! I–!

The light!

I swing my arms over my head. The light's still there! It's still there! I swing my arm up and…why am I sinking?! No, I can't fall! I can't fall! I CAN'T FALL! WHY CAN'T I MOVE MY LEGS?! NO, THE LIGHT'S RIGHT THERE! I can't…no, no, no, it's right there! Kamek! Junior! Morton! Wendy! Ludwig! Iggy! Roy! Larry! Lemmy! I can't stay dead! Kamek! I can't stay here! My kids! My people! My kingdom! I can't let them down! WHY CAN'T I MOVE MY LEGS?! I CAN'T…I can't…no…no…no…

With every worn muscle and burnt scale tearing at my nerves, I pull my head and arms into my shell. My legs…forget them! Just move! I have to move! I shut my eyes and throw my back towards the light. My shell rises, carrying my tail and useless legs with it. I spin around. The hum clicks inside my skull. Almost there, almost there! The hum gets louder. My legs sink into my brain. Weak violet passes over my eyes. Almost there. Almost… Kamek. My children. My kingdom. I'm almost home. I'm almost home. My arms reach out of the shell. My fingers claw for the light. I'm almost there. I'm…


I blink.

The violet light fades. I can see the ceiling and all the stones that make it. The torch is still lit over my head. My bones knit. My claws click into place. An exhausted Kamek holds his wand over his head. The hum settles behind my eyes. Junior's watching me from the corner. He yells something at Kamek. My old friend smiles at me and nods.

I made it. I'm back in the castle. I…of course I'm back! Staying dead's for chumps! And I'm the King of the Koopas. I couldn't let them down. I didn't let them down. No one stops me. Not the little man. Not Pale Blue. Not the freak. Not…

The freak's not dead. Or at least, not deader. It's still there. And I'm sure Pale Blue is, too. They weren't there, before. Or I just didn't run into them. If they're around, what else is hiding in there? Maybe the freak has buddies. Maybe Pale Blue does, too. Maybe…

No, that's stupid. So what if something else is skulking around in the dark? It doesn't matter. I made it. I'm back. No one stops me. But if I do end up back there… The little man will fight dirty. I know he will. He'll try to burn me, just like he always does. And I'll go back. If I go back…

Kamek holds up his free hand. Junior nods and smiles at me. His eyes are still a little watery. But his hands and arms are no longer red. I wish he hadn't seen that. No, it's fine, now. I'll be there, soon. Don't worry, Junior. Everything's gonna be okay.

Morton walks into the room. He smiles at me, too. He steps over to Junior and pats his shoulder. Junior laughs and brushes away one of the tears still caught on his eye. Morton laughs with him. Kamek smiles. The rest of my children…no, I'll see them soon enough. They don't need to be here. Keep 'em out, Kamek. Please. They don't need to see this. I'll be with them, soon.

If the little man does send me back, and the freak's still there…nah, I'm not scared. Junior's happy. Morton's happy. Kamek's happy. And even with this damned hum burning behind my eyes, I'm happy. I'll see them all soon. We'll plot together as a family and crush the little man. I'll make Princess Peach happy. I'll show her I'm a good guy. Everything'll be all right. Yeah. Everything'll be all right.

And if I do end up back in that place, and the freak's waiting for me, I'll be all right. After all, I'm the King of the Koopas. I beat the freak once. I can do it, again.