Just a short prologue to get the story started, and please leave a review if you liked this little teaser as it will give me motivation to write more chapters faster :) And feel free to point out any errors you might find in the text as english isn't my first language. And as it says in the summary, the story is from Joker's POW unless it says otherwise at the start of the chapter.
I'm not sure what to do. My feelings keep changing every other minute and I can't even watch any vids or read anything that could indicate what I should be feeling, because there's no precedent for this. How often does the Commander you killed get resurrected? It just doesn't happen. Except for now, obviously.
Shepard's back, we have a new Normandy and I'm flying again. And I can't decide if I'm feeling happy or guilty. I'm happy about flying again - boy am I happy about that! And I love the ship (leather seats!), except for one small problem that I like to call The Thing. The AI that thinks it can do a better job than me, or maybe it wants to control that I do my job – I'm not sure and I really don't care. I just want the creepy thing gone.
Shepard is the tricky part. I thought that I was just relieved and happy that she's back, but it's not like she's never been gone. She was dead for two years and I think she has some problems wrapping her head around that. As well as she should, it's a huge fucking thing to have to deal with. But her being upset about it is actually one of the things that made me immediately calm after meeting 'the new her' and convinced me that she's not just some VI in a clone of Shepard's body, but the real thing. That was also made painfully clear the moment she saw me and rushed over to catch me in a bone-crushing hug, which is not a good idea when the person you're hugging has brittle bones, mind you.
Shepard insisted that we'd go to the Citadel right away when we got control of the new Normandy and while I didn't agree with the amount of trust she put in the Council, I made it happen without any snide comments at all. Of course, that one moment of decency robbed me of the opportunity to say "I told you so!" when the bureaucratic shitheads tried to convince Shepard that the reapers only existed in her head. If they had known Shepard at all they would have realized that them denying it would only make her angrier and more determined to put an end to it on her own, instead of giving up as they wanted her to do. From the camera feed from Jacob's helmet I could see how her knuckles turned white as she clenched her fists as hard as she could to keep her temper in control. When she spoke, however, – and accepted the lame offer of being reinstated as a Spectre in name only – her voice was steady and professional without betraying her emotions.
I would be lying if I said that I didn't get shivers watching Shepard being Shepard again after thinking she was gone forever for so long. And it also made me eager to leave the Citadel with all it's shitty politicians, rules and C-Sec behind and start our new lives as vigilantes saving the world. Or rather, Shepard would be saving the world, I was happy just flying my ship. Her ship, I mean.
