Missing You

Warnings: Grinding; M/M kissing; slash; implied sex; implied underage sex

A/N: Omg I can't believe I just wrote this O/O so embarrassing! I got the idea for this from an Anon ask on the Birdflash Tumblr page, and I quote: "I was wondering if one of your lovely followers would be willing to write a fanfiction about the episode that aired today [Darkest]. I think it would be great if Wally was actually worried about Dick after the explosion and it turned into a comfort/smut." I'm too embarrassed to write full-on smut, and it kinda got weepy, but hopefully it's okay.


"You guess?"

Dick flinched. Wally had finally raised his voice, the furiousness that had been floating just beneath the surface of his tone finally bursting out of the water. The shout rang in Dick's ears. He knew that it wasn't all aimed towards him, but he couldn't help but feel his heart sink just a little lower in his chest. He wanted to curl up, to protect and prepare himself for what he knew was about to come. Instead, he stood his ground, meeting Wally's gaze through his mask.

"The Cave is—was just a place, worth sacrificing if it helps us stop the invasion." Dick took a deep breath. "Look," Dick said in a huff, spreading his arms wide, anger lacing his usually stoic voice. Why should Wally blame him? It wasn't his fault that Artemis' fake murder hadn't been enough to prove Kaldur's position with the Light. If it were up to Dick, they wouldn't be having this conversation at all. "I'm sorry you lost all your souvenirs."

Wally's face scrunched up, rage flooding his features. He'd never seen Wally like this before. Nowadays he was so serious, so forceful. Dick missed the goofy, awkward, flirty teenager he had fallen in love with. When had Wally stopped being Wally? Usually Wally was good around him: he did his best to call him Nightwing, because even though Dick loved it when he used it—and Wally knew he loved it—his real name was not to be spoken while he was in uniform; he kept his secrets, his backstory, everything he knew about him hidden because Dick asked him to; he always went along with what Dick wanted, because he knew that Dick usually knew what was the best, not just for them, but for everyone. But now, it was too much for Wally to bear, and Dick could see it plainly reflected in the eyes of his beloved redhead.

"Are you serious?" Wally yelled, pushing Dick forcefully into the padded chair Dick had risen from when Wally had entered the room. The coffee still on the table shook slightly. The look of shock that plainly crossed Dick's face was genuine. "I don't care about that junk! I'm worried about you! You could've died, Dick!" Dick blinked ferociously. Confusion and hurt muffled the thoughts flitting through his brain.

"Wally, what—"

Wally took two steps forward and ripped Dick's mask off his face. The skin around his eyes stung from where the Spirit Glue had been forcefully torn from the flesh, but it didn't matter, because Wally's lips were suddenly covering his, his smooth hands cupping Dick's cheeks. Dick's cerulean eyes widened in surprise. He barely had the time to notice that Wally's freckles on his cheeks had started to fade before he let his eyelids drop, mouth now moving in time with Wally's as he slipped his arms around his boyfriend's waist and pulled him down into Dick's lap. Dick couldn't help but smile. They fit so perfectly together, even here, on a chair in the Hall of Justice, where Wally was on his knees on either side of Dick's sculpted thighs, squeezing them together as if he never wanted to be separated from Dick again.

Dick moved his hands to the hem of Wally's black shirt, fumbling with it for a bit before Wally—with grace only a speedster possessed—removed Dick's hands and threw the offending article of clothing over and off his body. Dick hardly noticed the absence of the speedsters lips before they were slammed into his again, Wally's tongue taking advantage of the small 'O' Dick's mouth had formed. Dick moaned against Wally, hands running down his body; the lean arms; the smooth sides; the sculpted abs. Dick caressed every bit of skin there was to caress, working his way down to where Wally's behind rested on the edge of Dick's knees. He took the cheeks in his hands, squeezing them lightly. Wally groaned in pleasure, his hips involuntarily bucking forward into Dick's. Their moans fell into sync as their tongues continued to battle for dominance, slipping and sliding over each other in a perverse fight. Dick rolled his hips against Wally's again, still slightly squeezing his ass. Wally tugged at Dick's lower lip with his teeth, relishing in the pleasure that flooded through both of their bodies.

One of the hands still resting on Dick's cheek slid down to his throat, those smooth fingers dancing across his Adam's apple, eliciting a small gasp from the mouth still attached to his as his head dipped back slightly. Both young men slipped into silence as Wally slowly—excruciatingly slowly—grasped the uniform's hidden zipper pulled down. The sound of the separating teeth somehow aroused Dick even more. Dick inhaled sharply as Wally's mouth left his and moved to the side of his neck, licking down the flesh as he used his hands to push the spandex and Kevlar off Dick's muscular shoulders. Immediately Dick bared his neck to Wally's soft touch. He was internally begging Wally to press harder, to lick faster, when the speedster grinned against his skin. If he hadn't known better, Dick could've sworn that Wally had stolen M'gann's telepathic abilities. Wally's teeth bit down into the tender skin on Dick's neck, his hands gripping the sculpted muscles of Dick's shoulders that he'd been working on since he was nine years old. A hiss escaped Dick's mouth, and he instinctively squeezed Wally's derriere tighter. Wally groaned as his pink tongue licked against the vibrant love-bite he'd just completed on his bird's neck. But Wally wasn't done. His mouth latched on to him again, the cycle of biting and sucking and licking, over and over until Dick's southern region burned with pure desire.

When was the last time they'd done this? Both their friendship and their romantic relationship had been suffering over the last couple months—it didn't take a detective like him to notice that. Dick's responsibilities had suddenly skyrocketed: becoming leader of the Team, protecting his new home of Bludhaven, keeping in close communication with Kaldur, and doing everything he could to stop the alien invasion that he for once knew little about. Wally had been busy with his own life at university, choosing to study instead of spend time with Dick.

There were so many aspects of Wally's life that Dick understood, but couldn't accept. He thought he was important enough for Wally to be able to make time for him. Dick, he was always ready for Wally. It didn't matter what he was doing, or what time of day it was—he would take every opportunity he could to hold Wally to him, to kiss his perfect lips, to feel his lover's smooth skin under his calloused touch, to hear Wally scream his name and to scream his too, to let his lover claim him as his own.

He admitted that Wally's distance made sense, but Dick missed the times when Wally was on the Team, when they saw each other every week. He missed the times they spent as bros, playing video games, playing pranks on the rest of the Team, bugging Artemis. He missed the time when Wally, the hopeless idiot he was, furiously blushed as he confessed that he had a crush on Dick. He missed the time when he had given Dick his first kiss, and how they shared five consecutive lip-locks after that. He missed the times when they went on dates, sometimes Wally's simple, walk-in-the-park-and-watch-the-stars dates, and sometimes Dick's fancy-All-You-Can-Eat-buffet-and-a-movie-with-extra-popcorn dates. He missed the times when Wally would run to Gotham in his spare time just to visit Dick, even when it meant facing the wrath of Bruce and, occasionally, Batman.

The times they cuddled on Dick's bed. Their first anniversary together. The first time they had sex. There were so many times, Dick could go on forever. He missed every single one of them. Sometimes, he'd just lie in his bed for hours, thinking about them and wishing he could go and relive those moments. His reminiscing had been happening more often recently, as the two of them started to drift apart. They still spoke on the phone, sure, but most times their talk was trivial, and often it slipped into their superheroing business. It had been so long since Wally had told Dick that he loved him. Dick's heart ached from loss. He wanted them to be together again, wanted them to be young and in love like before.

Finally, Dick's wish was coming true.

Fingernails scraped down Dick's hard abs, leaving light scrapes down the already scared skin. Wally's tongue traced the thick scars that littered Dick's body. Dick could feel Wally vibrating lustfully against him as he moaned, their hips still rolling against each other. The other boy's hardness was pressed firmly against Dick's, sending great waves of pleasure to continue to shoot up Dick's spine. Wally's tongue moved lower and lower, and Dick relinquished his hold on Wally's ass to thread them in the fiery hair that he loved, tugging lightly on the locks. Dick's chest felt wet and dirty, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Wally cared about him, that Wally was worried about his safety, and that he now was repenting for his sins.

"W-Wally?" Dick managed, the words escaping in a gasp as Wally's tongue dipped quickly into his navel. Wally raised his eyes from the prize of Dick's wondrous, perfect body and met his boyfriend's stare through his pale orange eyelashes. Dick's breathe caught in his throat. His eyes were always complimented when people saw them, but that was because they were hardly seen. But Wally's… Dick couldn't understand how people didn't just start worshipping the boy under his jade stare. His eyes were so strong and full of life, and even with his new seriousness, if you looked close enough you could still see the old, goofy Wally hiding beneath.

Wally's voice was equally shaky as he whispered, "Y-yeah?" Wally's vibrating never wavered.

"I-I need you," Dick whispered, cupping Wally's cheeks and pulling him back up his body into what began as a chaste kiss but quickly escalated into a full French. Gently, Dick pried Wally off him and just stared into his eyes, their breaths mingling as they panted. Wally's hair was dishevelled from where Dick's gloved hands had attached themselves to his skull. A light sheen of sweat dusted over his lightly freckled skin. If it wasn't for the heat that held him in a tight embrace and his iron will, Dick would've frowned. There were definitely less freckles there than the last time he saw Wally's bare chest. The pain from the Spirit Glue had changed into a dull ache. Adrenaline pounded in Dick's veins. He felt lightheaded with emotion. With a gentle smile, Wally brushed a strand of Dick's ebony hair from his forehead. Wally's face was flushed pink, lust glistening in his eyes. Dick knew he probably looked the same. "Can we," he gulped. "Can we go somewhere? Somewhere more…private?" Dick jerked his head to where he knew a camera rested in the room. More blood rushed to his face. Dick felt like he was sixteen again, young and in love, telling Wally that he was ready to take that next step with him, that he never wanted to take that step with anyone else but him.

Some of the old Wally returned to the sparkle in the speedster's captivating eyes and to that brilliant grin that lit up his entire face. They didn't have to speak. They were best friends, bros, boyfriends. They knew each other inside and out. Wally knew where Dick wanted to go, what he wanted to do. And, at the same time, Dick knew Wally wanted the same thing he did. They both craved it, and, luckily for Dick, Wally always gave into his cravings. In a flash, Wally had pulled Dick up into his arms and off the chair, holding him bridal style, like in the old days. Dick threw his arms around his neck and planted a kiss on Wally's cheek.

There was a blast of frigid wind against Dick's bare chest, a light thump, and then Dick was landing on a soft surface, silk sheets slipping against the spandex still covering his back. Shadows draped across the vicinity of what Dick recognized to be his bedroom in his apartment in Bludhaven. Pale moonlight slipped through the window on the far side, giving Dick just enough light to see Wally's form crawling over top of him on all fours before dropping his body to straddle the still lithe body beneath him. Somehow, Wally's eyes still managed to glitter. His hands immediately dropped to where the rest of Dick's Nightwing costume still rested just under the hero's powerful biceps. With a little effort from both parties, Wally slipped the costume off Dick's upper body, thumbs kneading into the flesh, massaging the tension from Dick's shoulders.

Desperate to feel more than just Wally's fingers on him, Dick pulled Wally into a hungry kiss, forcing his tongue into the speedster's mouth, extracting a moan from those sweet lips almost instantly. Dick's hands moved down the smooth curve of Wally's back, teasing his ass again as those nimble fingers moved to the front, dancing the pads across Wally's hard organ underneath his light blue jeans before undoing his belt and slipping his pants down to his knees. Wally quickly kicked his jeans off, Dick moaning into his mouth as Wally's tongue involuntarily vibrated against his.

Dick's eyes wandered down his boyfriend's body, and he couldn't help but snicker into Wally's mouth.

Wally's hands froze. He opened his eyes and removed his tongue from Dick's mouth. Questions danced across his features. "Dude, what?"

He simply cackled again, channelling the laugh from years ago that he had once used to distract his enemies. "Robin boxers?"

Wally shrugged. "They don't have any Nightwing ones yet. You're too new. Besides," His thumbs teased the skin of Dick's hips that he'd slipped under his costume, making Dick shiver once before he super-speeded the rest of his costume off. Dick suddenly felt very bare, lying under Wally in just his briefs. Dick pretended not to notice that Wally's tongue darted across his lips hungrily. "You're the one wearing Kid Flash briefs."

Dick skittered his eyes away from Wally, his face almost as scarlet as Red Arrow's uniform. "You gave them to me," he muttered under his breath. "I know they were a joke, but they have meaning to me. I wear them as much as possible to feel—" The rest of his sentence caught in his throat. He couldn't force the words through. Against his will, tears welled in the young hero's eyes.

Wally caressed Dick's cheek with the back of his hand, using his other one to tenderly direct Dick's hurtful gaze back onto him. "Dick," he said softly, moving his lips carefully, chastely, sweetly, lovingly on Dick's for just a moment. Dick longed for a kiss like that again. As much as he loved making out and having sex with Wally, it was kisses like that that he lived for, that he thrived on. "Dick, look at me." Dick blinked quickly, letting a single tear slip from the corner of his eye before finally making eye contact. Wally thumbed away the droplet of water from Dick's porcelain cheek. "I'm sorry, Dick. God, I'm sorry." Dick could tell that Wally was struggling to stay strong, trying to hold his ground for him, but he was failing. It was like trying to cup water in his hands and expect for every drop to be accounted for when he dumped it in a bucket. Wally's emotions were slipping from between his fingers, and Dick could see Wally was losing control fast. Soon it was Wally's face that was soaked with tears. "I don't know what came over me. I couldn't help myself. I-The Cave was almost my home. It was somewhere I could be myself, no matter what. I didn't have to hide Kid Flash, and Kid Flash didn't have to hide Wally West. I could be the real me. I know that's something you appreciate, and probably know about far more than I do.

"But it was wrong. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It wasn't your fault. You-you're sacrificing so much to stop this invasion from happening, but you're killing me Dick." He stopped speaking, squeezing his eyes shut. Droplets of water dripped steadily onto Dick's bare skin. "Do you know why I've been so distant lately? Why my emotions have been running so high?" Dick didn't answer. Wally would tell him. Wally always told him. Wally could never keep a secret from Dick, no matter how hard he tried. It didn't matter if he told him or if Dick discovered it for himself; he'd always know everything Wally held close to his heart. "It's because of how you've been acting." Dick's eyebrows shot up his forehead. Wally's eyes still glittered wetly. "It's like, you're not Nightwing anymore, but you're not Dick or Robin either. You've been so serious, so set on your mission that you barely have time to concentrate on anything else except running the Team, training, and patrolling. Every time I've seen you for a few months now you've been in costume, and when you are out of costume, you're on your way home to change into that damn costume. It's like you've become," he paused and finished like a whisper in the wind, "It's like you're becoming Batman."

Dick opened his mouth, but shut it again just as quickly. He and Wally had stopped moving; Wally simply sat just above Dick's hips, his hands braced on either side of Dick's head. A couple breaths passed between them. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale again. Dick's mind flashed through the times he'd spent with Wally over the last few months. Wally had visited him in Bludhaven as he was about to go on patrol. He'd offered for Wally to come, but remembered secretly wishing for him to say no and let him get rid of his emotions. He'd blamed his thoughts on the difficult day at the police training academy he'd had. The next time wasn't until much later; more specifically, when they attended Roy's "intervention". They hadn't spoken much then. Dick remembered being stiff, that being in Wally's presence felt awkward, even though he missed him so much it hurt. They talked briefly on the phone when Bart showed up; Dick still had Wally on speed-dial. It wasn't much of a conversation, as Wally had to quickly zip over to Central. Dick couldn't help but feel the pain in his heart when he hung up. Then there was in Bludhaven with Artemis and Kaldur. Wally was so emotional: besides him, Artemis had become one of Wally's best friends, even after they'd dated and broke up. Dick knew it pained him greatly to see her go. He'd had to turn away when they hugged and gave each other friendly kisses on the cheek. He'd felt bile rise in his throat, even though he couldn't bear to see Artemis go either.

Maybe that's when his Batman persona had started to rise up from the darkness in the bottom of his heart. He'd felt so bitter when they touched. It wasn't fair to Artemis. She was about to risk her life for the fate of the world, and Dick couldn't even look at her when she touched his boyfriend. So he'd started to throw himself greatly into his work, working tirelessly on the jobs he had to perform, and even when he had nothing to do he forced something upon himself. He was trying to fill the hole in his heart from Wally's absence and desperately failing. He never thought that he might be the reason Wally had been moving farther and farther out from his reach.

"Dick, I miss you," Wally nearly yelled. "I miss us. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss kissing you, touching you, holding you in my arms. I miss talking to you. I miss playing video games with you. I just-You promised me you wouldn't become like Batman, but now," The tone of his voice became bitter. "Now I'm not so sure."

The words he'd told Black Canary after the Failsafe exercise echoed in his head: "That thing inside him, tha-that thing that drives him to sacrifice everything for the sake of his mission. That's not me. I don't want to be the Batman, anymore."

Tears were carving canyons in Dick's cheeks now too. He smashed their lips together, trying to convey to Wally all of the feelings that were overflowing inside him. "Wally, I'm sorry. I was awful to you. I didn't even realize I was hurting you. I was mad that you were hurting me, that you were pushing me away. But now, I realized it was my fault. It's all my fault." Dick buried his face in his hands, wet sobs wracking his body. Wally's toned arms wrapped around him, holding him close, letting Dick bury his face into his chest. He stroked Dick's hair, whispering sweet nothings in the boy's ears. Dick could feel Wally's tears splattering onto his face, mixing with Dick's own tears.

Dick didn't know how long they sat there, wrapped in each other's embrace. What he did remember, however, is when he let his expression harden, the tears drying on his cheeks, and he said, "Wally, I want you. I want you now." He untangled himself from Wally's arms and lied himself down, spreading his legs ever so slightly and bucking his hips up into Wally's. Wally's moan mirrored his. They finally remembered their throbbing erections and the things they had planned to do to each other before they finally expressed their true feelings to each other.

"So," Wally breathed into Dick's ear, his hips rolling down as Dick's rolled up. Dick shivered. Wally's voice drifted in his ears huskily. "Are we okay now, Boy Wonderful?"

Dick smirked at the old nickname and pulled him into a kiss as Wally slowly tugged his briefs down. He instantly helped Wally with his. "We've always been okay. And Wally?" he said as Wally grabbed the lube from the bedside counter on the left, in the top drawer where it was always kept, beside his books that Dick hardly had time to read. Even after all this time Wally knew exactly where everything was. Dick thought to the framed pictures of them that littered both counters, concrete evidence of the love they shared.

"Yeah, Dick?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Dick didn't care how cliché it sounded. They both meant it. They meant the world to each other. They couldn't live without each other. Dick loved Wally in every way: his hair; his eyes; his grin; his goofy humor; his kindness; his atrocious appetite; his past; his previous relationships; his kiss; his touch; his everything. This was who he was meant to be with; this was where he was meant to be, underneath Wally as he lined himself up over top of him.

That night, they made love.