Chuck Versus The Other Guy: Take 2

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Chris Fedak and Josh Schwartz. If only they belonged to me… oh what fun I would have with a certain Colonel.

Author'sNote:I know I really should be updating my other story John Casey versus Daniel Shaw don't worry I haven't forgotten about it, it's still work in progress and chapter four should be up soon. But in the mean time this just popped up in my head after watching the awesome Chuck versus the other guy and I'm so glad Shaw is finally gone! Rejoice! I just had to write a parody of the famous bridge scene! I hope you enjoy it and please review!

"You y-you don't have to do this," stuttered Chuck holding his gun up to Shaw. "Just let Sarah go, it doesn't have to end this way!"

Shaw gave a twisted smile. "But it does Chuck," he turned to look at Sarah, whos paralyzed body was draped over the bridge. "She knows my secret so she has to die!"

"Secret," Chuck said, baffled, "I thought this was about her killing your wife, you know your one true love."

"Yeah right," Shaw snorted, "Evelyn was just another fling. I got over her ages ago. I mean look at me I'm a stud, I could get any girl to fall for me." He ran his hand through his hair and gave a charming smile, showing off his pearly whites.

"Yeah but you have the personality of a plank of wood." Chuck said matter of factly.

"True," Shaw agreed, crossing his arms, "but then again girls like this," he nodded back at Sarah, "are totally shallow. I mean think about it Chuck first Bryce then Cole and now me. You think she dates us because of our personalities? Because Casey doesn't seem like a personality kind of guy if you ask me."

"Casey as well!" Chuck couldn't believe this. He put his hands on his hips and glared at Sarah although he knew she couldn't speak. "Well is this true?"

Shaw shrugged, "Well with her track record Chuck, I wouldn't be surprised." He answered for her.

Chuck couldn't argue with this. It made sense now why Casey seemed to enjoy going on missions so much with just Sarah. "But what about me? I thought she loved me, that's what she said earlier!"

"Sorry buddy, love sucks."

Chuck frowned. "I guess I wasted my money on getting this made then." He ripped open his white button down shirt revealing a black tee reading 'TEAM JACOB!' with a picture of Taylor Launtner underneath. Shaw giggled and Chuck quickly pulled the shirt together. Blushing, he said, "Oops wrong shirt. It was meant to say 'TEAM CHARAH!' with a picture of me and Sarah cosplaying at Comic-Conon it."

"Yeah because that makes it so much better." Shaw patronised. "Now if you've finished I would like to get back to the disposal of agent Walker."

"No!" Chuck shouted, holding up his gun again. "I still love her no matter how many agents she sleeps with! I can't let you kill her!"

Shaw rolled his eyes. "But Chuck, she knows my secret." He said as if that justified murder.

Chuck slowly approached Shaw until the barrel of his gun was against the rogue agent's chest. Shaw didn't reach for his own weapon. Chuck guessed Shaw didn't think he could actually pull the trigger.

"You wouldn't shoot me." Shaw challenged confirming Chuck's thoughts.

"You're right; I probably wouldn't, but that doesn't matter." Chuck grinned. "Because I too know your secret and Chuck Bartowski always comes prepared, Superman!" before Shaw could say anything, using his free hand Chuck pulled a small chunk of glowing green rock from his pocket and pushed it against Shaw.

There was no reaction.

"Have you completely lost it?" asked Shaw, a confused look spreading across his face. "Superman?"

"You mean you're not the man of steel? But you look just like him!"

""Well I do like to do some acting here and there in between missions. Superman might be on my resume. I'll check later on IMDb."

"Oh okay then, looks like I won't be needing this anymore." Chuck threw the luminous rock in the river and watched it sink.

"Where did you get that kryptonite?" asked Shaw making air quotes around the word kryptonite. "It looked pretty real."

"eBay, the guy who was selling it said he picked it up from a toxic waste dump outside a nuclear power plant."

"Isn't that dangerous to just carry around in your pocket? Radioactive waves and all that."

"Nah, it was only dangerous if I wanted kids," came the reply. "But that's never going to happen seeing as the love of my life seems to love everybody but me!" Chuck looked over Shaw's shoulder at Sarah as he said this. She just slumped on to the floor, eyes wide open. Chuck couldn't help but smile a little; she looked so cute when she was relaxing. He had to save her. Even if he had to wait until she went though a guy from every other federal agency; FBI, USSS, DOD, DIA and so on, until he settled down with him, Chuck would wait. Heck he'd even help her find the super-fly guys from each agency if it meant he'd get her in the end.

"Well Chuck," said Shaw, "seeing as you're not going to pull that trigger anytime soon, I'm just going to kill the love of your life. But don't worry we can go for a dink afterwards, drown your sorrows. Maybe even find you a pretty French girl eh?"

"No!"

"What's the problem now? Think I'm batman?"

"No!"

"Stop saying that will you!"

"If you wish," Chuck said, then he brought his knee up hitting Shaw hard between the legs and then when the bigger agent doubled over in pain, shoved him back on to the concrete ground. "Just because I'm too innocent to shoot you that doesn't mean I won't beat you to a pulp. I've played Street Fighter, I know how."

"Bring it on Karate Kid!" recovering quickly, Shaw jumped to his feet. "You're too emotionally screwed up to flash and without the Intersect you hit like a girl." Without warning Shaw uppercut Chuck in the stomach then right hooked him in the face.

Chuck stumbled back, dropping his gun as he did. He didn't get a chance to retrieve it as Shaw kept coming at him punch after punch and there was only so many Chuck could block without the skills of an Intersect flash.

Ducking out the way of a jab, Chuck suddenly remembered the advice Morgan drilled in his brain during their high school years: 'When in doubt with no where to run, play dirty.'

Smirking, Chuck mentally thanked his short bearded buddy and played dirty by yanking down Shaw's trousers. Which was miraculously easy considering the guy was wearing a belt.

Shaw stopped mid-punch. "You pantsed me!" he stated in disbelief.

"Yup," grinned Chuck, stepping back to get a better look at his handy work. He burst out laughing at Shaw's green boxers which had little pink pictures and yellow logos plastered all over them. "OMG! Jigglypuff really Shaw? Pokémon boxer shorts?" he couldn't stop laughing as he pulled out his iPhone and began taking photos. "Let me guess it's your destiny to collect all 151 pairs?"

"493 actually," Shaw corrected. His face turned bright red form embarrassment as he yanked his trousers back up. "What are you doing with that phone?"

"Oh nothing," Chuck lied putting it back in his pocket. "Now where were we?"

"Erm… mid punch I th…" before Shaw could continue he felt his phone vibrate. "Hold that thought this might be important." He took out his Blackberry and saw he had a new Facebook notification. "Chuck 'ily Ms Walker' Bartowski tagged you in a photo." He read aloud, suddenly growing even redder as he stared at a picture of himself in his Jigglypuff boxers.

"Now the whole world, well my Facebook friends which is quite a lot, know your secret Shaw, so you might as well let my beloved go!"

"You moron," growled Shaw in a Casey like manner. "Embarrassing as my underwear choice is this is not my secret. It's the fact that I straighten my hair every morning!"

"You straighten your hair?" Chuck snorted producing his phone again, "But that's so feminine and you seem so… manly."

"Duh! That's why it's a secret." Shaw said. "Can you imagine if it got out!" His phone started vibrating again, it was another Facebook notification; 'Chuck 'ily Ms Walker' Bartowski tagged you in a post.'Shaw clicked on it and read Chuck's status update; "Chuck 'ily Ms Walker' Bartowski just found out that not only does Daniel 'I can get your girl' Shaw wear Pokémon boxers but he straightens his hair every day! Omfg what a girl! Lol! :P"

Shaw's eyes narrowed and he produced a gun. "No more messing around. You and Walker both die!"

A gun shot rung through the air.

Instantly Chuck clutched his chest but there wasn't any pain. He hadn't been hit but it seemed Shaw on the other hand had.

Shaw dropped his gun then fell to his knees. "No one can stop Daniel Shaw!" he murmured weakly before another gunshot was fired. This time Shaw fell completely to the ground muttering "Watch the face." as his face met the concrete. Though that wasn't the end of him yet, he started over dramatically pulling himself across the ground towards Chuck, who was watching in amusement.

About a meter away from Chuck's feet Shaw finally gave in to the grim reaper. Daniel Shaw was dead at last. Chuck imagined it had something to do with the two bullet shaped wounds in the man's back.

"Was that you Sarah?" Chuck asked the still motionless blonde CIA agent.

"No it wasn't her Chuck,"

Chuck froze, that was not Sarah's voice.

"It was me!" out of the shadows appeared Hannah, fully clad in her Nerd Herd uniform with a gun in hand.

Chuck was shocked at the appearance of his ex. "Hannah, you're an agent too?" he asked. "That is so awesome!"

Hannah shook her head. "No Chuck I'm not an agent." She tucked her gun into her waistband. "I just really didn't like Shaw; you see he kind of looked like Superman."

"So it's not just me who sees it!"

Hannah chuckled then continued with her explanation, "Well I hate guys who remind me of Superman. I dated one once, years ago it was. He was all secretive, thought he could single handedly save the world with these so called super powers of his. He even wore these annoying red and blue shirts like all the time. Well anyway long story short, it was a bad break up and I haven't quite got over him yet but he has the audacity to start dating this skank called Loi…"

Chuck coughed loudly, interrupting Hannah. "Interesting as this story isn't I've got to see to my girl." He ran up to Sarah and cupped her face in his hand. "It's okay my love, now I've got rid of the bad guy for you and your safe!"

No reply.

"You don't have to say anything I can see the gratitude in your eyes."

Chuck pulled Sarah up and put his arm around her waist making sure she was steady.

"What about me, I saved your lives! I can love you Chuck Bartowski like Sarah never will! And you look so much like this ex of mine! Curly hair, cute smile…"

"Don't want to hear it Hannah!" Chuck looked over his shoulder at her. "But if you really want to do me a favour, my man Casey is getting his fight on over there somewhere so just fade into the background and once he's finished give him that body to dispose of. Got it?"

"Got it." nodded Hannah.

"Good, if you do that I might just accept your friend request on Facebook." Chuck smiled then tuned his attention back to Sarah as he carried her along the bridge. "Well Sarah I think that's enough action for one day, you get some rest when you get back to the hotel and in the morning we can work on getting you a FBI stud eh?"

No reply.

Chuck kissed her on her cheek. "I love you too Sarah Walker."