I. Epiphany
"It's gone! Papa, it's gone!"
"Go after her, Papa!"
His children's words echoed in his ears, over and over, pounding to the rhythm of Jack's hoofbeats as Jacob raced frantically toward the train station.
"It's gone! Papa, it's gone!"
"Go after her, Papa!"
The six miles between the Whiting farm and the little town of Hayes, Kansas seemed to stretch out forever.
"It's gone… It's gone…Go after her…"
When Jacob finally passed the little country church, he recalled yet another plea: "You cut in! Take Sarah back!" How well he remembered that day. He had awoken still angry from the night before, determined to discuss with Sarah her blatant disregard of his wishes, but not until after the picnic. It was one of the highlights of the year and he hadn't wanted to ruin it for Anna and Caleb. He hadn't wanted to dance either. He REALLY hadn't wanted to; not with her, not with anyone…ever again. But when he had heard the indignation in his son's voice and seen the approval in his daughter's nod, he had felt as if he had no choice but to intervene. Once he had begun waltzing, however, it hadn't been nearly as bad as he had imagined. The steps came as naturally to him as breathing. He had actually ended up enjoying it. Not that he had let on, of course; that wouldn't have done at all. But he had not only put aside his anger and refrained from mentioning Sarah's defiance, but he had also allowed her to leave Katherine's things on display without comment. To his surprise, seeing them every day had not been as hurtful as he'd imagined it would be.
As he sped toward town, memories of the following days flooded his mind, each one more pleasant than the last. Then, something made Jacob recall the advertisement he'd placed. It had mentioned only the sharing of a life and the making of a difference. To his credit, he had admitted once (in front of the children, no less) that he was fond of her. He had also told her on more than one occasion that he wanted this to work. She had responded in kind. Why, then, would she leave now? Especially after he had opened up to her the very day before. What did it all mean? If Sarah wasn't leaving, then what was she doing? If she was going, why would she leave her trunk and her beloved cat behind? Surely she wouldn't leave without at least saying goodbye to the children? And why had she taken her bag with her? The questions kept tumbling over one another. He closed his eyes for just a moment to try and clear his head.
Something hit him like a bolt and his eyes flew open. He realized that his knee-jerk reaction to Anna's announcement had betrayed his true feelings for Sarah. What he really wanted was much more than someone to look after the children and to share the day-to-day responsibilities of running a farm and a home. His own phrase came back to taunt him. "A wife," he had explained to Anna and Caleb at supper that evening. "A wife." Yes…that was what he truly wanted. How he had missed Katherine's smile across the table, the scent of her hair, the familiar feel of her lying next to him each night, the taste of her kisses…
He forced Katherine's memory from his mind one more time. That phase of his life was gone forever; it was time to start over. He knew what he had to do now. Provided Sarah wasn't on that train, and if she was, that it hadn't yet left the station. He would stop her. She had accused him once of not needing. He would let her know, once and for all, how untrue that was.
