'I cant have children Steven! That bullet you ACCIDENTLY shot at me ripped right through my womb! I had to have a historectomy because of you!The one thing that i always wanted above all, above everything in this world, and your selfish pulling of a trigger has denayed me of that!'

'Jane! I didnt know! Honestly! I never meant for this to happen, it was an accident!'

'Accident! You dispise me! I dont want to see you ever again! Now just get out of my house! GET OUT!!!'

'but Jane...'

'OUT!'

Steven was crying, he didnt wish this on Jane, it wasnt fair, he felt sorry for his dad Ian too, they could never be together and have a child to bind them together and bring them through this hardship. Then he had an awful thought, they might split up because of him, and it would all be his fault. He didnt want them to split up because of his act of selfishness.
'i wont let them split up' thought Steven on his way back to Pat's, as he was walking, he noticed a girl knocking on a few of the doors of the square, thought no more of it than that she might just be wanting to advertise something and carried on walking home.


'Excuse me, im ever so sorry to disturb you, but can you tell me if you know this lady?' she asked shoving a photo into Tanya's face.

'Yes dear, thats Jane, she might be in the caff, but im not sure if she is working at the mo or not, poor dear,
Appendicitis is really nasty. Why are you looking for her?' she asked politely, but the girl was already gone and out of sight. 'Odd little love' said Tanya and dissapeared in to tend to Oscar seeing as he was crying again.


'Ummm, excuse me sir? Could you tell me if this woman is in here?' the girl asked Ian.

'Well no she isn't here, she has had a major operation, of course i couldnt let her come into work! Who's asking anyway?

'My names Hope sir.'

'And how come Hope has a photo of my wife to flash around the square?'

'Because i need to find her. I didnt know she was your wife, i didnt know she was married again either.'

'Why do you need to find her Hope?'

'Because, because she is my mother!'

'You must be mistaken, Jane doesnt have a child.'

'She doesnt know im alive still.'

'What do you mean?'

'Forgive me sir, but could we go somewhere more private? I am not comfortable talking so openly in a Caffe.'

'Yes, of course, come through here.' Ian lead the way out and into the empty chip shop he owned on the other side of the street,
Hope following rather nervously. She was 14 years old, small build, with a pretty oval shaped face and bright blue eyes. Janes eyes. however she had dark hair with a curl penetrating it giving her a soft and loving look. She wasnt tall, rather short and she wheeled a suitcase behind her. She was well dressed, wearing a black skirt with a pale blue top that matched her eyes perfectly, and she had an expensive looking long black coat unfastened yet hugging her slight frame like it was tailored specifically for her. Ian felt a little intimidated by her but he carried on with his haughty nature he had fashioned for himself on meeting her in the Caff. Finally they made it to the empty chippy and he closed and locked the door behind them.

'So Hope. What makes you think Jane is your mother?'

'havent you ever wondered what her life was like before you met her? Has she ever mentioned her previous marriage?'

'No she hasnt, but i respect her wishes and her silence about her past life.'

'But doesnt she know about yours?'

'Yes but...'

'dont you think it odd that she wont tell you; her husband, what happened to her before?'

'No! Deffinately not! ... Well actually ... What do you know about it?'

'i thought so, you are interested! i will start from the beginning. 15 years ago Jane splits up from her husband, Tom, my father and says she never wants to see or speek to him again, she wanted a clean break, wanted nothing to do with him again, but she still loved him, he was her man, the one she married, the one she loved. Her friends get worried about her, she becomes distant and doesnt want to talk to any of them, so they go round to her rented flat that she moved into after the break up and told her that they were going to take her out on New Years Eve and they are going to have a good time and everything is going to be like old times.

So they go out on New Years Eve, they have a good time in the first few bars that they visit, but as the night wears on, Jane becomes drunk and unruley, she tried to drown her sorrows, and her friends let her because they were too happy to have their best friend back with them they were too relieved to have her back to worry about stopping her incase she left them forever. At about 3am, they come to their senses and tell Jane that they are going to have to go home and she should go home too. They say their goodbyes and they all go separate ways.

Jane is too drunk to know what she is doing, and she goes home, litterally. She goes round to the house she and Tom lived at, the house Tom kept in the divorce, but she kept the key to it and let herself in. She went upstairs to the bedroom, and saw Tom asleep in the bed on his own, peaceful, quiet, and at that moment she knew that she loved him more than anything in the whole world. She walked over to him, whispered into his ear, and he came out of his slumber, saw Jane and smelt the alcohol on her breath, he could see opportunity,and being who he was, when he saw opportunity, he took it. He coaxed Jane in beside him, and being in the drunken state that she was in, Jane obliged. That was the night i was created, they joined, and my body took form. In the morning Jane was in an even worse state, she woke up with the worst headach ever and when she realised that she had spent the night with her ex-husband, who she reminded herself that she still loved, she felt at the lowest point ever in her life. She crawled out from under the bedcoveres, picked up her clothes from their demoted position on the floor and stared at her naked self long and hard in the mirror. She dressed and tiptoed downstairs, glad that Tom was still asleep, she had a glass of water and left the house for a long walk back to her flat.

On the way home she had a horrible vision of what happened the prievious night, and alarmed she bought a pregnancy test in the chemists.
When she could build herself up to it, she did the test, and when it tested positive, she could have kicked herself. she went into meltdown from that moment on, she didnt know what to do, she couldnt be straight with anyone what the problem with her was, because admitting to her sins would make it all the more real. But what would she do? A baby was such a hard thing to conceal from people, it would grow, in a few weeks she would start to show, and then she couldnt do anything but let people know. She considered an abortion, but the thought of killing a part of her was unbearable. she decided to go through with the pregnancy. When her parents found out naturally they were pleased for their only daughter, but when they started the questions, like 'whose baby is it Jane?' or 'when did this happen love'
Jane just couldnt cope and told them everything. They were so angry that they disowned her and have never been in touch with her since.

Somehow Tom found out about the baby, me, and he came to see Jane and told her that he wanted to be part of his baby's life and when she told him he would never be part of the baby's life, he told her that he would be and that nothing she said could stop him.

When Jane went into labour she was taken in an ambulance to hospital, and they called Tom to the scene despite Janes constant yelling at them that she never wanted to see the man who got her into this mess ever again. She had to have an emergencey caesarian but unfortunately the baby never made it.'

'But how can that be? i mean you are here talking to me? How could you have died Hope?'

'Obviously i didnt die, that is just the part of the story that Jane could have told you. Tom however could tell a completely different story.'

'But how do you know all this, it is pretty deep stuff, and you wearnt even born, how can you know all this?'

'Of course i wasnt there, well i was, i was in Jane's stomach, but i never experienced all this, the way i know this is because of what Jane told me.'

'But you said she doesnt know that you are alive! Hope my love, you are not making sense, i dont have time for this! you are just a child telling stories.'

'No sir, i am not! Please take a look at this!'Hope pulled out an old book, it had a pink cover on it, and from what Ian could see, it had writing in it, on almost every page. when Hope handed it to him, he saw in peeling silver letters on the front the word 'Diary' and on closer inspection, he recognised Jane's handwriting, filling every page, for the first time he read about her marriage to Tom, the experience she had whilst being pregnant and the heartach after, for her baby girl was pronounced dead. His expression softened with every page he turned,
and as a tear trickled down his cheek, Hope felt that her story may have hit home for him at last, and despite an atmosphere that could have been cut with a knife, she smiled, a knowing smile.

'But Hope, you didnt finish, how come you died and yet i am talking to you? it doesnt make sense, Jane is distraught because her baby girl died,
yet im here with you, what happened?'

'My father happened. He told Jane that he was going to get me somehow, he told her that he was going to see his child. He was, and still is quite the ladies man, at that time he was dateing one of the midwifes at the hospital Jane was in to give birth. Together they decided that they would kidnap me and bring me up as theirs. So by telling Jane that i was dead, they eliminated her from the equation and could get away with me. Simple and easy. Tom acted the part and they managed to get away. Thats it, thats how i died and yet i am still talking to you. May i see Jane now?'

'Umm... Yes, but how are you to prove to her that you are her daughter?'

'I have this' Hope lifted up her t-shirt slightly. Under it there was a small, pale birthmark, in the shape of a heart. 'she has one the same,
in the exact same place, the same shape and shade, Tom told me. And also i have another.' this time she took off her coat and pulled up the right arm of her t-shirt to reveal another, slightly darker birthmark, this time it looked like a star. 'This is exactly the same as one that Tom has on his arm, exact same shape, exact same place. I think these might prove to her that i am her daughter, and along with the Diary Jane had, i have this one too, its Tom's.' This time she pulled a small black diary from her pocket, 'I stole them both from the cabinet at home before i ran away.'

'You, you... Ran away?!'

'Yes, i needed to find my mother, i found out what Tom did and couldnt bear to be in the same house as him, i have come to find Jane, to talk to her and i was hoping she would be able to find me somewhere to live, I dont want to go back to Tom, its not where i belong.'

'You had better come with me then young Lady. You are 14 you say?'

'Yes i am, is that a problem, ummm... sorry, i didnt ask your name...'

'Ian. Ian Beale. And no its not a problem, i just have 2 children myself, Lucy and Peter, who are also that age.'

'I have a brother and a sister?!' Hope sounded so delighted at the thought of siblings, it tore at Ian's heart

'Hope, you have a sister and 3 brothers!'

'Really? When do i get to meet them?!?'

'As soon as we get all this sorted out with Jane.'