Hi everyone! This time I try myself with a multichapter-story! Let's see, if I can do it! Hope you have fun!

Disclamer: Harry Potter and all characters used belong to J.K. Rowling.

Warnings: May contain slash in later chapters and adult content. Abuse mentioned.

To Where You Are

Chapter One: Want to forget

He sat alone in the darkness of Sirius's room in Grimmauld Place and the heavy storm raging outside matched the stormy feelings inside of him quite well. A deep sigh escaped his lips as his eyes followed the traces of the hurricane that seemed to have happend here.

Everywhere lay broken furniture and the body-sized silver-framed mirror was spreading its shards all over the room. A wheezing sound made him look up and he could see the tall form of Sirius enter through the heavy wooden door.

„You've made quite a mess…" he chuckled and green eyes whidened slightly. „What happened?"

The deep and gentle voice send shivers down his spine and Harry had to pinch himself to clear out his already far too clouded mind. After a while he finally found his voice and spoke in whispering tunes.

„I can't stand being alone."

Again, a low chuckle from Sirius followed. „Who can, Harry?"

The one spoken to lifted his eyes and found himself nose to nose with his godfather. Silver eyes smiled at him and he felt, like he could get lost in them. A gentle hand placed itself on his cheek and Harry leaned into the feather-like touch.

„You're just hurting yourself, you know?" Sirius simply said and the boy lowered his head sadly. His heart was heavy with emotion and he couldn't bear looking into the eyes staring at him anymore. He knew that the pain could never be enough. He deserved the pain that haunted him, but sometimes the hurt took control over him and he lost it just like moments before.

Again, he heard the wheezing sound of the too old door and when he looked up, he could see Remus Lupin entering, a concerned expression on his face, as he saw the mess in Sirius's old room.

„Harry…" he began, but then stopped, obviously lost for words.

The boy sighed and turned around slowly. „I was only talking to…"

He trailed off and sighed once more when he found Sirius already gone. „Never mind…"

Remus ached for the boy but he found himself unable to find the right words to comfort him. And so he simply chose to sat next to him and brought a somewhat comforting arm around the slim shoulders. His worries increased day by day and he felt helpless. He knew that Harry was hurting himself emotionally and he was scared as hell that if he wouldn't find a way to come through to him, the boy would do more than just that.

Dumbledore had obeyed his wish for Harry to stay with him at Grimmauld Place for the rest of the school year, but right now he wondered if it had been the right decision. He had thought that he could help the boy to cope with the loss, but when he thought clearly about it, he knew that he could not help – because he himself couldn't quite get over loosing the last person close to a family.

The silence stretched and when it became almost impossible to bear, Remus stood up.

„I think we should get started and clean up this mess. What do you think, Harry?" When he didn't get an answer he turned around and his eyes darkened with pain. Silent tears were trickling down the boy's face and Harry's hands were shaking.

With one swift movement he had the boy in his arms again and held him tightly. Harry clinged to him desperatly, his hands grabbing Remus' shirt, as if his life depended on it.

„I…I can't get the pictures out of my head…Remus…" he whispered brokenly and the older man tightend his hold on him. „He is falling…and falling…again and again! And I hear her voice…Bellatrix…and…and it's all my fault! If it weren't for me…"

Harry couldn't bear to speak the words aloud that haunted his mind. It is my fault that he died…I let him die…

„Stop it, Harry!"

Remus' s fierce whisper stopped Harry's thoughts for a moment and he felt like his rips being crushed, when the werewolf's grip became nearly too violent.

„It was never your fault, do you understand? If someone is to blame then it's Voldemort and his Death Eaters! Or even us adults! But never you…"

The werewolf trembled slightly, when his own guilt seemed to overtake him. He could understand these feelings all too well. How often since this fateful day at the department of mysteries had he asked himself how he could have let his best friend die and if there had been anything that he could have done to save him. But like Harry, he couldn't find an answer.

Because there simply wasn't one. Sirius died in battle. And he had went into this battle, knowing of the possible outcome. But Remus had never thought that he actually could die. Even after all they had been through – James and Lily dying, Peter betraying them, Sirius in Azkaben – he had foolishly believed that they would survive.

Harry shifted in his arms and he felt the boy tensing even more.

„I know you mean well, Remus, but you can't convince me otherwise. And deep inside, you know that I'm to blame. If I had just listened to Hermione! If I had just stayed…"

The boy pushed himself out of Remus's arms and took some steps back. Something in his eyes made the insides of the werewolf squirm, but he couldn't quite put what it was.

„Sirius knows too, Remus. He knows that it's my fault. Mine alone! I keep seeing him! I'm even talking to him!! And the pictures in my head won't stop!!" Harry's voice had risen to a dangerous level and his whole body shook with emotion. It seemed that his magic tried to run free, like so often when Harry had only been a child. The room began to shake ever so slightly and Remus's eyes whidened in shock.

„Harry! Stop!!" he cried, but the boy was beyond listening.

„He is falling, Remus!! He is falling and I can't get to him in time!! I see him dying – over and over again!!! I can't bear it anymore!! I want to forget!! I just want to forget!!!"

Remus tried to get to him, but suddenly Harry was engulfed in the brightest light and when the werewolf tried to grab him, he was already gone. Simply vanished. Remus lost balance and fell to his knees, his eyes whidened in disbelief. His body shook and the feeling of nausea washed over him when all of a sudden memories flooded his mind. His eyes whidened even more as he began to comprehend what had happened. „Those memories…" he whispered, while surpressing the urge to throw up.

The floor creaked and Remus whirled around, hoping instantly that Harry had come back. But the person standing in the doorway wasn't his former pupil. The werewolf shook his head in disbelief as tears began to well up in his eyes.

„This…can't be…"

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When Harry opened his eyes, he couldn't make out his surroundings at first. His head aced, as well as his throat, and a silent moan escaped his lips. What's happend to me, he wondered, as suddenly a deep voice spoke up.

„Well, my boy. Welcome to my office. I hope you don't find my question inappropriate…but what brought you here – and even more important, how were you able to do that?"

Harry's head jerked up and his eyes met those of a very old man, sitting on a desk, looking at him severely. The severeness however gave away to utter surpise and a gasp escaped the old man's lips.

„Actually…I don't know what's happend…" Harry whispered and tried to think hard. But he couldn't remember a thing. Actually he couldn't remember anything at all.

„My…my…name is Harry Potter. And the last thing I remember is being at the house of my uncle – at the age of eleven..."

His body shook as he tried to remember more, but he had to give up when another wave of pain seared through his head. For some time there was silence but once again the old man, who was no longer sitting at his desk but kneeling right next to him, began to speak.

„Obviously, you're much older than eleven. Fourteen or fifteen I would say by your appearance. And you are a wizard. So much is clear. You came in a flash of light right into my office and that means, that you have been invited to Hogwarts before. Otherwise no magic could have brought you here. For your name…that is a matter, I have to think about." The man stood up again and seated himself behind his desk once more, looking thoughtfully at Harry, who had a confused expression on his face.

What was this old man talking about? He – a wizard? And what was this Hogwarts? And what about his name?

All those questions rushed through his mind, but only one he dared to ask.

„Who are you?" His voice was barely a whisper and when he looked up, the old man was smiling.

„Oh how rude of me. Of course you don't know my name. Where were my manners. My name is Albus Dumbledore. And I happen to be the headmaster of this school."

„School?" Harry asked and Dumbledore nodded his head.

„The School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hogwarts. That is where you are, my boy."

„Harry. The name is Harry. Harry Potter." If my memory is correct on this part, Harry thought grimly.

„Yes. You have said so, my boy. This leads me to another question. Do you remember the year, when you have been eleven?" Dumbledores eyes narrowed slightly and Harry shivered uncomfortably under his intense gaze.

„1991." came the short answer.

„I see…" murmured the headmaster and Harry looked at him questioningly. He didn't understand what the old man wanted with this piece of information, but he soon should get his answer.

„It seems, Mr. Potter, that you've travelled through time. If your memory is indeed correct, than you've travelled about 20 years back. We have 1976 right know."

Harry's eyes whidened and he felt like fainting all over again.

„Back? I'm…in the past?" he croaked and Dumbledore nodded. He couldn't quite believe what the old man told him and he felt dizzy and sick.

„Right now, there are no pupils at Hogwarts because of the summer holidays. I recommend that you will get a room at Hogsmeade, a nearby village, and get some rest. And tomorrow, we try to figure out, where exactly you came from, why you are here and how to get you back. We have got four weeks to find a solution before the pupils come back. Let us hope we find one in time."

„ And if we don't?" Harry asked, still not sure what to make of all of this.

„Then you have to stay. But let us think about that, when the time comes. Now get some rest."

Harry merely nodded. Then…he had to stay. In the past. As a wizard. With no memory of the last four or five or whatever years.

Great.

This was just too much for him at the moment.

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What do you think? I know, yet another time travel. But otherwise than that? Should I go on? Please review, so that I can see that someone is actually reading this stuff. No flames please, but constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Love, HS