EDIT: Sorry. Ignore the into directly below this because I wrote it right before the finale and…well, now it doesn't make a whole lotta sense, does it?

A/N: I honestly have no clue why I even wrote this…uh, happy season finale, everybody. I hope you don't all burst into tears by the ending credits like I know I will. :)

Disclaimer: Darn! I was the second closest bidder, but a certain David Shore from Princeton bought me out. Stupid E-bay.

Disclaimer # 2: Thanks to TV()com, Housewiki()fox()com, and IMDB()com for the quotes, and to TV()com for the music in the episodes.


What CTB Has Done for HOUSE and It's Fandoms

1. …She's the creator of the Angst-a-thon 2008.

2. …She may have punctured her femoral artery (LIMP!)

3. …That limp is almost destined to hurt the H/W friendship, which will of course be followed by several episodes of non-mushy make-ups.

4. …Hellooo, she's Wilson's girlfriend!

5. …Three words: Coolest. Nickname. Ever.

6. …She makes me cry for Stacy…wah!

7. …She practically invites me to wail painfully to any person that happens to be within talking/e-mailing distance.

8. …She's a smart aleck. Need I say more?

9. …She annoys the heck out of 13, which instantly makes her cool.

10. …House admires her. Case closed.

The Cutthroat's Theme Songs

11. …You Can't Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones (like, the Housiest most Amberesque song of all!!)

12. …Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson

13. …Cold As You by Taylor Swift (Fine, maybe not Amber, but…think Wilson after she leaves…or, they break up…oh, whatever. You know it reminds you of her.)

14. …Me Against the World by Simple Plan ("Daddy didn't hug me enough…didn't love me…")

15. …Super Girl by Saving Jane

16. …Baby Doll Gone Wrong by Skye Sweetnam (I was seriously, freaked, when I heard this. AMBER ALERT!)

17. …The Best Damn Thing by Avril Lavigne (Yeah, yeah…but I bet you can ALL see it.)

18. …Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

19. …One Girl Revolution by Super Chick

20. …Numb by Linkin Park

Questions CTB Makes Us Ask

21. …Why was she on the bus that day?

22. …What was HOUSE doing with her on the bus that day?

23. …Did House think of Cuddy pole dancing because Amber had earlier?

24. …Would she really be such a CTB to cheat on her boyfriend with his best friend?

25. …How drunk does she get, and how could House manipulate that?

26. …How drunk does House get, and how could Amber manipulate that?

27. …Do she and 13 go waaay back? Where does all the burning hatred come from?

28. …Was she abused?

29. …What happened to her mother?

30. …Why couldn't she get both love and respect with anyone else? What happened in her family?

Is She Any Different From Wives 1, 2 and 3?

31. …She let Wilson choose the bed.

32. …Amber doesn't want a doting, caring boyfriend; she wants LOVE and RESPECT.

33. …She has pretty strawberry blonde hair.

34. …She's really tall.

35. …She can totally deal with House (Maybe a little too much…)

36. …She has a steady, well-paying job.

37. …She's stunningly beautiful.

38. …Cameron hates her.

39. …So does Taub.

40. …And 13…and Foreman…and Kutner—no, he's more of a 'terrified' type of guy.

What A Bunch Of Random People Say About Her

41. …I don't particularly like Amber. She's okay and I sort of like her interaction with Thirteen, although I like Thirteen's interaction with anyone cause she's my favorite. I think Amber and Wilson are good for each other…they kind of even out. -Momentary-ecstasy

42. …I think Amber with Wilson is weird; she's too much like House for him to be in love with her, but I always kind of liked the comedic element she brought to the show. Of course, now that she's dying, I'm finding I liked her more than I thought. –Selene Antilles

43. …I think she's cool. I like how she commands the House problem with Wilson. It's interesting how she manipulated her power over House. -My Mom…

44. …I used to hate her with a burning passion, but it's pretty hard to remain hateful at a person after that heck of an episode. I can't even think, I'm so excited for tonight's finale. –Yours truly!

45. …I think Amber is someone who has been let down a lot and is determined to make it work with someone. She is headstrong, clever, witty, and opinionated. I don't think much of her, honestly, but after last episode I seem to find that I like her a bit more than I thought; and I feel for her. –Marie of the Bloody Koalas!

46. …In the beginning she did a very good job of making me want to tear her hair out. That custody thing with Wilson was so unfair (House was there first, b--!) But...like I think I've said, it's hard to hate someone once you've seen them get a pole jammed through their leg. So I don't completely hate her anymore, but I'm still unsure about what to think...if she WAS trying to sabotage the boys' friendship, she's going right back in my black books. –spncsifreak

Four Utterly Random Questions:

47. …Sooo…what really did happen to her parents?

48. …Where did the attitude come from?

49. …Ever wonder what the writers' spouses think after they come up with this stuff?

50. …What happened to Stacy?? I miss her. Stupid AmberArc. Maybe CTB killed her. Maybe Mark was a payed assailant to get rid of Stacy so Amber could have House for herself.

Theories: What Will Happen?

51. …Theory 1: Maybe Amber is cheating on Wilson with House.

52. …Theory 2: It's not really Amber at all, maybe it's just…Amber's twin sister! Yeah!

53. …Theory 3: Maybe Cameron set up the whole bus crash thing, because that's just how evil she is.

54. …Theory 4: Gosh, what the heck did the bus crash into? An SUV? Another bus? A truck? Maybe Amber's dad was driving it, and he knew she was on it, but he hates her sooo much that he decided to go ahead and crash.

55. …Theory 5: Hmm…maybe, the WHOLE EPISODE was a figment of House's imagination. Forget the teaser, maybe he was hit somewhere else, like he fell, or a patient hit him, or Amber turned evil and SHE hit him, and he got hurt. Okay, a bit far-fetched, but…really, it's possible.

56. …Theory 6: Maybe Wilson's cheating on her, but he keeps looking for excuses to blame Amber, so the blame won't shift to him. Maybe he's back with one of the past wives.

57. …Theory 7: Sure, Amber might be 'deathly ill' or whatever, but MAYBE (as if I haven't used that enough today) there's another, more pressing patient who's really, really sick and is going to die, but he/she would never have been recognized if Amber wasn't in the hospital.

58. …Theory 8: This is for the future. Wouldn't it be just an awful plot twist if Amber had cancer? And poor Wilson wouldn't be able to stop it…it would be malignant brain cancer and she'd die, and Wilson would be trapped in guilt, and so would House, for a reason unbeknownst to me…yet. :)

59. …Theory 9: Okay, fine. It is possible that everything is as it's supposed to be, where Amber is only in the hospital because of the bus crash. Yeah, yeah. Fine, let's go with the less creative approach.

The Hardest Question of Them All: What Are We Going To Do Tonight?

60. …Play football! –ahem-

61. …Watch Amber and Wilson be tragically ripped apart in some form of guilt/anger/rage/jealousy insert random adjective here!

62. …Watch House, M.D. Wilson's Heart on FOX!!

Yup. That's about it, folks. Remember to tip your waitresses. Good night (as if any of you are going to bed before the finale…)

-Hadley of the BK

Happy Housing!


Hi again! Now it's almost what, two months after the finale? I didn't post it because…well, to be honest, I ran out of time. I rushed downstairs to watch the show and I pretty much forgot about it. So now, you lucky little readers, get to view exactly 38 more Amber-tastic bits of info. Enjoy!

Eighteen of the Cut-throatiest Quotes and Conversations on Earth (from whenever I feel like in season 4):

63. …"All my life, I thought I had to choose between love and respect. And I chose respect. And with Wilson I know what it's like to have both. And that beats a fellowship." –Amber

64. …Amber:You mean it appeared normal to the doc in the ER.
House:Way to get right back on that horse, Thirteen.
Thirteen: No, that was Amber.
House: Nice try, Cutthroat B--. That was the worst Thirteen imitation I've ever heard.

65. …House: That is just great.
Henry: What is?
Taub: Which one of us is?
House: Both of you. Together. Fighting. Passionate to prove the other wrong. Couldn't care less about the patient, but it all works out the same.
Amber: I hate Thirteen.
House: Not as productively.

66. …Amber: Sorry I'm late.
Taub: Where the hell have you been?
Amber: Oh, I got lost.
Kutner: Been here over three hours.
Amber: …Really lost.

67. …Amber: What's going on?
Kutner: You're the favorite.
Amber: House's?
Kutner: To get fired.

68. …Taub: I could hook you up.
Amber: If I had two minutes and some anti-nausea meds, I'd take you up.

69. …House: She said something idiotic again, and I didn't even notice it. Foreman had to point out it was idiotic. She's making me an idiot.
Dr. Wilson: It's cute, you have a crush.
House: No, I think it's something systemic.
Dr. Wilson: Thirteen's pretty. You're obviously okay with her.
H: She killed a patient.
W: The b-- is pretty.
H: The b-- is a b--.
W: Ask her out.
H: The b--? She's a b--.
W: No, she's the one who's making you an idiot. It's the story of life: boy meets girl. Boy gets stupid. Boy and girl live stupidly ever after.

70. …Amber: Pseudomonas would present as an armpit rash. Take off your shirt.
House: You first.

71. …During that fateful unveiling in the restaurant! House: C-cutthroat b--?
Dr. Wilson: Well, I call her Amber.

72. …Amber: Hi, Greg. And I call you Greg because we're now social equals.
House: I call you "cutthroat" because… well, quod erat demonstratum. And I speak in Latin because I don't try to hide what an ass I am.

73. …House: (to Wilson) Wait a second. This isn't just about the sex. You like her personality. You like that she's conniving. You like that she has no regard for consequences. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves… oh my god. You're sleeping with me.

74. …Dr. Wilson: (comparing Amber to House) Amber is exactly what I need and you would agree if you weren't mired in self-loathing topped with a thin crust of megalomania.
House: Hey, that's my best friend's girl you're talking about.

75. …Dr. Cuddy: (about Amber) Are you sure she doesn't wanna just take you back to her lair, hang you upside down, and deposit her eggs in you?
Dr. Wilson: Excellent disguise, House.

76. …Dr. Wilson: (about House) I don't know how to deal with him, when he's being… reasonable.
Amber: This is reasonable? This is crazy! You're not a child, you can make your own plans.
Dr. Wilson: No, crazy is what House would normally do in this situation: swap your lubricant with Superglue.
House: The man knows me.

77. …Amber: Take my deal, or get out of my apartment.
House: Take my deal, or I move in.

78. …Dr. Wilson: What are you running away from?
House: When I'm drinking without you, what am I running away from? Hmmm, one of those imponderables.

79. …Thirteen: We should say goodbye.
Taub: She didn't even like us.
Kutner: We liked her.
Taub: Did we?
Dr. Foreman: We do now.

80. …House: I could stay here with you.
Amber:Get off the bus!
House: I can't.
Amber:Why not?
House:Because...because it doesn't hurt here. Because I... I don't want to be in pain, I don't want to be miserable. And I don't want him to hate me.
Amber:Well... you can't always get what you want.

A Great Question:

81. …Amber's medical wristband at the hospital (obviously, not while she's working as a doctor but when she was a patient) shows her admitting physician. Wanna know who it is? Dr. Eric Foreman. Now, why would he do it? Shouldn't someone else, like Cuddy or House or especially Wilson admit her? Why Foreman?

Amber Act-a-Likes:

82. …Gregory House, MD! (Come on, they're about as different as identical twins.)

83. …Sara Sidle, CSI: Las Vegas. I like to think that Amber shares Sara's keen ability to dig up the truth no matter how hard it will be.

84. …Jordan and Perry Cox, Scrubs. Hello, has anyone ever seen this show? You'd have to be blind, deaf, mute and unable to communicate with the whole world to miss this similarity.)

85. …Carla, Scrubs. She's the strong man in her married relationship, really the boss of them both, where as her hubbie is a softer, cares about everyone kind of guy.

The Ultimate Songs of Her Fellowship…and Girlfriendship:

86. …In 'The Right Stuff,' AKA the first episode where Amber shows up as a fellow, the awesome special song that plays (continually) is Teardrop by Massive Attack! This is the show's theme. And the song doesn't actually show up anywhere BUT the theme, so it doesn't really count.

87. …In '97 Seconds,' playing is Not As We by Alanis Morrissette

88. …In 'Guardian Angels,' All My Life by DJ Harry plays.

89. …In 'Mirror, Mirror,' the White Stripes' We're Going to Be Friends plays.

90. …Whoa, triple-whammy! In this episode, 'Whatever it Takes,' three songs play: I Idolize You by Lizz Wright; One Big Holiday by My Morning Jacket; and What a Man by Linda Lyndell.

91. …In 'Ugly' two songs played: My Home is in Your Head by Joseph Arthur; Slide Away by The Verve

92. …'You Don't Want to Know' featured no songs other than Teardrop.

93. …In 'Games,' several songs played. These included: Nicotine Caffeine by Alan Milman Sect and Man-Ka-Zam; Kicked Out by Pussy Galore; Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum; an original piano composition by Hugh Laurie, and an original piano composition by Hugh Laurie.

94. …In 'It's a Wonderful Lie,' these songs were featured: Hark the Heralds Angels Sing by Frank Sinatra; Trim Your Tree by Jimmy Butler; The Twelve Days of Christmas by Frederic Austin; The Little Drummer Boy by The Fab Four; God Rest You Merry Gentlemen by Roy Hargrove; Santa Claus is Coming to Town by Ramsey Lewis Trio; Who Took the Merry Out of Christmas? by Staples Singers.

95. …'Frozen': Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye; Alone by Mungal and Nitwin Sahwney; Human by Civil Twilight

96. …'Don't Ever Change': Waiting on a Friend by The Rolling Stones; Jerry Weintraub by Waldeck; Nani, nani by Accentus Ensemble; Niggun of the Alter Rebbe, and Eshet Chayil

97. …'No More Mr. Nice Guy': Everyday People by Sly and the Family Stone; Baby I'm a Want You by Bread; You Keep Me Hanging On by Diana Ross.

98. …'Living the Dream': Needles in my Eyes by The Beta Band

99. …I'm going to skip the music for House's Head because I believe it is very untasteful; and head straight to Wilson's Heart. Here we go: Teardrop preformed by Jose Gonzalez; written by Massive Attack; Re: Stacks by Bon Iver; Light for the Deadvine by People in Planes; Passing Afternoon by Iron & Wine

Why we Love Amber:

100. …There is not one fan of this beautiful show that can honestly say they don't love James Wilson. And so, even if we don't particularly enjoy certain qualities of Ms. Volakis, not one of us would dare take away this sweet oncologist's love. THAT is why we love Amber—she gave Wilson his passion again, even if only for a little while. She straightened House out, and put a huge strain in the H/W relationship. Now, all that can happen is a total friend-y makeup—or a devastating failure and a ruined relationship. But lets not think about that.

101. …There wasn't a dry eye on earth the night of the finale. Enough said.


Thank you for reading, people. I wish you all patience for the premiere in the fall!

-Hadley