Okay first of all, DID YOU SEE THE NEW FAKING IT TRAILER! HOLY SHITBALLS AM I EXCITED! *clears throat* Alright so now that that's put of the way...I wrote this story because as I'm sure you all I know and as much as I love them, Reamy isn't going to last. It sucks but we all know they're going to break up, especially after seeing that trailer for 2B. So that's where I got the idea for this story. That and listening to Battlefield by Lea Michele on repeat. That's where the title and the lyrics come from. Fair warning, this is in no way a happy story so get your tissues ready. Sorry guys. I own nothing, just doing this for fun...or in this case emotional trauma. Enjoy...or well I guess not, oh you get the point.
It's easy to fall in love,
But it's so hard to break somebody's heart
Reagan always knew it would never last. From the moment she agreed to be Amy's girlfriend she knew the 'possibility' of a break up wasn't just something that could happen. It was guaranteed. Not if, but when. But for some reason when she was standing in the Communal parking lot looking at Amy's slightly flustered face, watching as the nervous girl fidgeted in front of her, she couldn't bring herself to care. She said yes anyway. Call her a masochist if you want. If she was honest with herself she'd know it was because after only just two weeks she was already so attached to Amy that cutting the other girl off right then and there would of hurt her way more than she was willing to admit. Even if the relationship was doomed. So yeah Reagan knew. It lasted a lot longer than she thought it would. Only in her case this only made things worse. If they had broken up a week or two into their relationship Reagan would have been okay. It would still hurt of course but she would of managed. But that's not what happened. It lasted. It lasted just long enough for them to fall in love. Just long enough so that when the end did come, neither one of them knew if they'd be okay ever again.
What seemed like a good idea has turned
into a battlefield
It started with little things. Little things Reagan knew would cause big problems. Especially when those little things revolved around Karma.
New Message: Karma
K: Movie night tonight? I'll even let you pick :)
Amy stared down at her phone a small smile on her face. She only looked up when she heard Reagan yell her name. The two were sitting on the older girls couch in her small apartment. "Sorry what?"
The DJ arched a perfect eyebrow but repeated herself once again. "I said... do you wanna see a movie tonight or something? We can see that Disney Nature thing about Monkeys since you love documentaries so much." She said with a teasing tone and smile.
Amy gave a small smile back but then looked nervously down at her phone. "Uh...that, that sounds great but it's uh...it's Bruce's birthday today and my moms making me go out with them for his stupid dinner thing."
Reagans smile disappeared but she nodded. "Oh, uh okay. Maybe tomorrow night then?"
"Yeah sounds good." Amy quickly agreed while typing out message on her phone.
A: I'm in! Be there in about a hour.
When she looked back up Reagan was staring at her questioningly. "You alright?"
Amy nodded a bit too frantically. "Yeah fine. Just texting my mom. The dinner is in about an hour so she wants me home."
Reagan stared at her for what seemed like forever making Amy more nervous by the second. She hated lying to her girlfriend but she was trying to do everything she could to repair her relationship with her best friend and she knew how sensitive Reagan was about Karma. The truth she knew would only cause an argument.
Finally Reagan stood from the couch holding out her hand. "Okay, come on I'll take you home."
Amy quietly let out a relieved breath before taking the DJ's hand and lacing their fingers together as they walked out to Reagans truck.
It almost worked. Reagan almost didn't see Lauren leaving the house with Leila and Elizabeth as they pulled into the driveway. Amy almost avoided Reagans question as to why Bruce's own daughter wasn't going to his birthday dinner but she was. They almost avoided the fight that left Amy standing almost in tears in her driveway and Reagan squealing tires all the way down the street. Amy almost didn't go to Karma's.
Almost.
The surface tensions gotta break
One drop is all it takes to flood out this lie
Little things soon turned into big things. Big things like Amy and Liam.
It might not have been so bad had Amy been the one who told Reagan. But no, she'd found out from Karma. Karma. What's worse was the girl had just blurted it out like it was something Reagan should of knew. And she was right. Reagan should have known, and Amy should have been the one to tell her. But again, no. She found out by listening to Karma rant at their catering job they somehow both managed to get about the 'best friend fucking, lying asshole' that was Liam Booker. To say she was shocked was an understatement if the sound of the tray full of champagne glasses hitting the floor was any indication. The next few minutes were full of 'She didn't tell you?' and 'Oh my god I'm so sorry I thought you knew!' followed by 'Please don't tell her I told you.'
Those few minutes were what lead to Reagan bursting into Amy's room still in her catering uniform. "You slept with Booker?" She said shutting the door behind her, resisting the urge to slam it since Farrah and Bruce were home.
Amy blinked up at her in shock slowly sliding to the edge of her bed. "I uh...I.."
"That's what your big fight with Karma was about? You fucking her boyfriend." Reagan said managing to sound like she was yelling without actually yelling. "You told me it was no big deal Amy. I believe your exact words were 'Oh you know just Karma being her over dramatic self. Nothing to worry about.' Well newsflash, BIG DEAL."
Amy just stared in silence not having any clue of what to say. She watched as Reagan paced angrily back and forth before Amy found her voice. "Who told you?" She asked barely above a whisper.
Reagan stopped her pacing and let out a bitter laugh. "Karma. Funny thing is though she didn't really mean to. She just blurted it out like it was one of the lunch orders cause she thought I already knew." Amy stayed silent but Reagan heard a small sniffle. Sighing heavily she walked over to the edge of the bed and knelt down in front of the now crying Amy. "Why didn't I know? And why did you lie to me about it?" She asked sounding way more hurt than she did angry.
Amy looked at her as tears ran down her cheeks and just slowly shook her head. "I, I don't know. Just didn't know how to tell you I guess. I thought that if I just didn't tell you about it then you wouldn't have to deal with it. It was a mistake, the biggest one of my life, and I just wanted it to be over." Amy looked down at Reagan with a sad smile. "And I didn't want you to feel like you do right now. I knew telling you would just bring out all those doubtful feelings you had and I didn't want to put you through that again."
Reagan sighed once again. "Shrimps, if you would of told me the truth when I asked I wouldn't of been mad. It happened before you met me. I mean I wouldn't of been thrilled to hear that but I wouldn't be as hurt as I am now." Amy looked away at those words but Reagan gently turned her face back, leaving her hand on the blondes cheek. "You can't keep lying to me just cause you think I might not like the truth. Especially about something as big as this. I can't keep finding out your secrets from your friends. You have to tell me these things."
Amy nodded covering Reagan's hand with her own. "I know and I'm sorry I just...I was afraid I'd lose you." She said sounding very much like she did when she said those same words to Karma.
Reagans own tears began to fall now as she rubbed her thumb across Amy's cheek. "I'm not going anywhere Shrimp Girl." She whispered as she leaned up pressing her lips against Amy's before resting their foreheads together.
"I love you." Amy said wrapping her arms around the DJ.
Reagan smiled through her tears and returned the hug, burying her face in Amy's hair. "I love you too."
It wasn't the first time they'd said it, but both knew it would be one of the last.
We both know it's coming
Does illusion count for something we hide?
As time went on Amy and Reagan both knew the end was coming. They tried and tried to keep their relationship together but there were just too many variables. Too many extra pieces for their puzzle, all trying to squeeze themselves in. Every time Reagan and Amy were around Karma and/or Liam there was tension. Tension lead to stress. Stress lead to anger. Anger lead to fighting. So much fighting. They fought about Karma, Liam, Karma and Amy as well as Liam and Amy. Reagan tried to trust Amy. Tried not to be jealous or suspicious. She really did. But when she found out the big thing she didn't know all it did was make her wonder. Wonder what other big things she didn't know. Even if those things didn't exist. It still didn't stop the wondering. Didn't stop the fighting.
Amy tried to reassure her. Tell her there was nothing left she didn't know. And it was true. Cause as much as Amy tried to hide it she knew Reagan could see right through her. She could see those feelings for Karma slowly coming back. It was all in the way she smiled when the other girl texted her. The way her eyes lit up while she was talking about her. The way Amy would drop everything and everyone when Karma needed her. Everyone including Reagan. Amy might of never said it out loud but she didn't have to. They both knew. Just like they both knew the white knuckled grip they had on their relationship was starting to loosen. Their hands were beginning to slip. And there would be nothing there to catch them when they fell.
You and I
We have to let each other go
We keep holding on
But we both know
It was after another one of their fights that they finally admitted it out loud. It was Reagan who said it first. They were laying in the older girls bed, sore throats from screaming and each with a hand tracing the lines of the other girls tear stained cheeks.
Reagan let out a small sigh before swallowing down the giant lump in her aching throat. "We're not going to make it are we?" Her pre-Amy self would of laughed at how damn dramatic she just sounded. Like they were entries from The Hunger Games about to die or something. But she wasn't her anymore. And nothing about that question seemed even slightly over dramatic much less laughable. It damn near killed her just to say it. She continued running her thumb back and forth across Amy's cheek and they younger girl stayed silent, still keeping her hand against Reagans cheek as well. Reagan couldn't lie. Even though she knew it would be a lie, she still wanted Amy to disagree with her. Wanted her to tell her they would make it. For a second it looked liked Amy was about to do just that. However when she saw her girlfriends eyes fill with tears once again she knew that wasn't going to happen.
Reagans own eyes filled with tears as Amy gave a small shake of her head. "No...no we're not." She said her voice cracking and more tears spilling down her cheeks. Reagan pulled her to her chest as both girls began full on sobbing. Reagan just cried into Amy's hair holding onto her for dear life as Amy buried her face deeper into Reagans chest, fingers clenched tightly into the fabric of the DJ's shirt. They cried for what felt like forever but neither girl could actually say the words. Neither one of them was strong enough to end it.
Not yet.
Peace will come when of us put down the gun
Be strong for both of us
No please don't run, don't run
Eye to eye we face our fears
Unarmed on the battlefield
It's Reagan again who finally does it. Who puts the final nail in the coffin. Amy and her had gotten into yet another fight and Amy stormed out once again.
And went straight to Karma's.
When Amy had texted her an hour later asking if she could meet her at her house she knew this was it.
Reamy was done.
The drive there was all a blur. Everything was a blur up until she walked into Amy's room and seen the girls face. In that moment everything was crystal clear. For a while neither girl said anything. They just stared at each other with such sadness that had anyone been watching they would of burst into tears. Amy opened her mouth to speak but stopped when Reagan help up a shaking hand.
"You don't have to say anything." She said in a voice she barely recognized.
Amy took a step forward already beginning to cry. "Reagan I di-"
"Amy...it's okay." Reagan interrupted trying unsuccessfully to hold back her own tears.
Amy angrily shook her head. "No, no it's not. Nothing about this is okay!" She yelled starting to cry even harder. "Hurting you is not okay Reagan." She was shaking uncontrollably now and her breath was coming in quick burst. "I ca...I can't...do...this." She said between sobs and tried to run to the bathroom.
Reagan quickly stepped in front of her though and took the crying girl into her arms. Amy tried for a few seconds to push Reagan away but she was so emotionally and physically drained that she eventually just gave up, wrapping her arms around Reagan and crying into her shoulder.
Reagan rubbed one hand up and down Amy's back as ran the other one through her hair. She ignored her own tears and heart break as she focused on fixing the pain of the girl she loved. Her own could wait.
When Amy finally calmed down just enough to speak all that came out of her mouth was 'I'm sorry' over and over again. Reagan leaned back but kept her arms around Amy. "You have nothing to be sorry for Shrimp Girl." Amy couldn't help the small smile that spread across her face. Reagan cupped her face wiping her tears with her thumbs. "Being with you has been the best four months of my life. I'll never apologize for that and neither should you."
Amy laid her hands on Reagans wrist. "I never meant to hurt you Reagan."
Reagan nodded. "I know. You can't help who you love." Smiling at Amy she added. "Trust me I know."
Amy smiled back then looked at her very seriously. "I do love you Reagan. Don't for a second think I don't." She looked down at the ground. "It's just-"
"You love Karma more." Reagan finished for her, her voice cracking.
Amy began to cry again. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be." Reagan said crying again now too. "I just hope Karma knows how amazing you are and how lucky she is."
They stared at each other for a few silent minutes before Reagan cleared her throat. "I should go. I got a catering job early in the morning."
Amy nodded her head knowing trying to talk would just make her cry even harder than she already was. Reagan leaned forward kissing Amy on the forehead before moving down and connecting their lips together in a tear filled kiss. They broke the kiss only to pull each other into the most heart breaking hug either of them had ever had. They buried their faces into each others shoulders soaking both their shirts. After holding each other for what felt like forever yet somehow wasn't long enough, they pulled away and each girl took one shaky step back.
"I love you." Amy said barely able to get the words out.
"I love you too Shrimp Girl." Reagan replied before quickly turning and running out the door knowing if she didn't leave now she never would.
At the sound of the front door slamming shut Amy slid to the floor and scooted back against the edge of her bed. She pulled her knees up to her chest and tried to fight the urge to throw up. She thought Karma's rejection had hurt. That was a paper cut compared to the pain she was feeling now. She felt like someone had punched her in the stomach while simultaneously squeezing her heart between their hands. And outside, barely a block away from her house, a DJ sat in her parked truck, crying against the steering wheel, feeling the exact same pain.
We seemed like a good idea...
Sniffle sniffle. I'm fine I swear. How about you guys? Did you make it...I'm sorry please don't hate me.
