Block-scheduling can only mean one thing: obligatory Birdflash. Sorry, my duckies, I don't make the rules. That's just how things are.
It was 7:30 on a Tuesday, reclined on the couch next to Dick and three hours into the Lord of the Rings trilogy, that Wally realized he was in love with his best friend.
It was two minutes later, right after Dick had looked at him with the laugh that had dawned the realization in the first place, that Wally decided he couldn't say a word about it.
When they turned in for the night, or rather the morning, he tried to talk himself out of it.
It would never work.
He isn't interested.
There isn't enough time.
But then Dick nudged him with his toes, and his blue eyes reflected every ounce of light in the room as he thanked him in a low tone. Once, then twice, then once more before he murmured a goodnight. His eyelashes were long, his lips were parted, and Wally wanted nothing more.
He spent every waking moment of the next few weeks denying it. It wasn't unusual to mistake familial love for attraction- at least according to the internet. Besides, Dick was pretty attractive.
That last one was never really an argument, but it never really left his mind at the end of the day.
Maybe, he thought, if Robin had never become a Dick Grayson to him, this wouldn't have happened. After all, Robin was pretty hard to get along with. He was a Batman who had shrunk in the wash in terms of a teammate, and the surprising strength that came with his small frame was always frustrating. That's not to say Wally didn't let himself get pinned from time-to-time, but that was besides the point.
What might've been easily brushed off as simple attraction was disproved by the snow suits. Never had Wally seen his best friend look more like a potato. The suits were ridiculous, and for a brief moment, the redhead had held hope, but then Dick had grabbed his arm as he leaned in to whisper something, and that breathy laugh had tickled his jaw, and he was lost all over again.
It took at least a month to stop fighting the fact. Another passed before he could say it out loud into his reflection and was able to meet its gaze without flinching. At that point, seeing his lips move around the words that felt so natural, I'm in love with him, it became too surreal for his liking and he had to avoid his reflection for a while again. He was in love, and that was that.
That was also it, apparently, as he stopped the initiatives there. Accepting the fact was fine and dandy, but he couldn't do anything about it. Dick didn't like him, and to be honest, Wally didn't feel like he deserved his best friend. His whole life had been one facade after another, the Great Wall of Wally, and Dick had always seen through the ruses. He always knew what to say, even when he didn't, and he gave the world a reason to keep spinning. He was the best friend people waited their whole lives for, and so much more than Wally had ever asked for, and now he was lost under the sharp ocean waves below.
M'Gann piloted the bioship, now biosub, carefully and quickly through the dark water, maintaining a small balcony just above it big enough to hold Kaldur, Wally, and eventually Robin once they found him. The youngest hero had been thrown out in the initial impact of the earlier attack and now Kaldur was scanning the water with Wally's goggles on their thermal setting.
The balcony allowed for a railing to keep the scouts from falling in, too, and Wally had been holding onto it for as long as he had been screaming his friend's name. His throat was a shadow shy of raw and his fingers trembled too hard to keep a strong hold anymore, but he never stopped his watering eyes from darting over the endless expanse of water before them. Every second was a new prayer, and he was running out of hallelujahs.
"Find him!" Wally had to shout above the roar of the wind, desperation breaking his plea in half.
Kaldur kept his eyes on the water so intently that for a moment, it seemed like he hadn't heard, but his jaw clenched in response before too long. He allowed himself a small huff, but he couldn't give much more sign of his frustrations than that.
"I'm trying," the blond insisted in a thin voice.
The waves whipped up at the balcony and the wind was unsparing as they searched, and every second became an hour for the speedster. His best friend was in there, somewhere. If they didn't find him soon- no, they would. He couldn't afford to think like that.
He couldn't afford to think about every 'I love you' he never got to say. There wasn't time to think about every time he could've held his friend's hand, interlaced their fingers and kissed every one of them. He couldn't think about every time they were close enough to kiss and he had held himself back. He couldn't think of the sleepovers where Dick had been close enough to hold during the night, or the limbs that would tangle in their unconsciousness that felt so right in the morning. He couldn't think of what it would've been like to kiss the smirk right off of his face, to shut up that smugness and stun him.
It was more than that though, he realized, as watery eyes became blurry and his throat became too thick.
He didn't want to think about telling Batman that he had let his sidekick die. He didn't want to think about seeing his best friend's corpse in a coffin, dressed in a suit he had envisioned them getting married in one day, before he was put in the ground beside his parents. There wasn't time to think about going to the cemetery and visiting with all three of Graysons in his free time.
His best friend needed him to be strong, and that's what Wally tried to be, clinging to that last shred of hope as the pit of dread in his stomach only continued to grow.
He was down to his last hallelujah when Kaldur moved faster than he had ever seen any Flash. The blond whipped his water-bearers out of their water pack and lifted something from the water off in the distance. What had seemed like a shadow on the water was pulled at them with superhuman speeds and what then resembled a human now resembled Robin, as limp as the cape dragging beneath him.
Wally was sure he cried out from both joy and fear, but his only concern was kneeling beside his friend's body as Kaldur lay him flat against the balcony. The second the body was flat, Wally stacked his hands just below the R on the costume and started compressions.
"Kid Flash-," Kaldur started, as though he considered arguing.
"He's my- please," Wally bit out in a bitter plea.
He looked up into the Atlantean's eyes for a moment, struggling with tears, and it was all Kaldur needed to give a curt nod and leave him be. Faintly, Wally was aware of the balcony being retracted and Kaldur saying something to the others, but his only concern was under his hands as he hit thirty compressions. When there was no reaction from Dick, Wally lifted a trembling hand to his chin and propped it open.
The redhead took a nervous breath and held the other's nose before leaning down and covering Dick's lips with his own. They were cold and clammy and nothing like he had ever imagined. He blew once, and then lifted up long enough to glance at Dick's chest. There wasn't a reaction, so he blew again. He was starting on another thirty compressions before he had completely taken his lips away.
"Rob," his voice was absent as he put his weight into each compression. "You can't just... die."
Someone was saying something behind him, maybe to him, but he couldn't tear his mind away from his best friend. Dick wasn't going to die. He wasn't moving yet, but he wasn't going to die.
His lips didn't feel any better the second time, and a tear slipped down his cowl as he started another set of compressions.
The cynical part of his mind told him that he had wanted this. He had spent all that time daydreaming about getting to kiss those lips, of all the ways it might have been possible, and this might have been one of the scenarios. That part of his mind told him that he should be happy about finally getting that kiss. He had asked for it. It was what he deserved for not being more specific.
It made him sick to his stomach, which doubled with the absolute terror running through him made the world a throbbing, freezing mess.
"This isn't what I wanted. You have to come back to me."
He set his lips over his best friend's again, and his jaw trembled as he sat up again.
"Please don't leave me."
As he finished another thirty compressions, he stared in desperation at the half-censored mute expression on his best friend's face, and he wondered if that would be the expression they buried him in.
There was an, "I love you" under his breath when Dick's body surged with a sudden cough. One became several, and Wally was almost sobbing as his best friend shuddered back to life. The redhead quickly sat the other up and held him protectively as he hacked up the water in his lungs. When there was no water left and only air to struggle with, Dick leaned his head against Wally's chest, and his fingers sought out something to hold as he gasped and fought for breath. He wound up clinging to Wally's arm, and the speedster fought to keep it together.
"I've got him!" he shouted, and it broke, but he couldn't be bothered to care.
The others were talking again, but he couldn't hear a word. All he could hear was Dick, gasping out a thank you on every other breath. Once, then twice, and then once more, and Wally was reminded of the night he had realized he was in love. The reminder tightened his hold on the younger hero, and made it harder not to cry. He had almost lost him. It was setting in now more than ever, and he was beyond happy that he hadn't.
"Do that again and I'll drown you myself," he choked out.
Dick's laugh was watery, and it hurt all that much more.
When things eventually settled down, M'Gann stilled the bioship and allowed for a small infirmary to be made because, despite Dick's claims that he was alright, he had technically just drowned, so they needed to make sure. As Wally helped Dick up, still protective of him, he offered to play doctor.
"You guys need to fill the League in and make sure Batman didn't have an aneurism," he insisted, and was happy that he didn't receive a lot of protest.
The infirmary had a wall between them and the others, and resembled a basic doctor's office, so Wally felt safe enough to tug down his cowl. When the door shut, Dick peeled off his domino mask, too.
M'Gann had offered towels, or at least the bioship equivalent, and Dick was bundled up pretty well once he was convinced to get up on the table. When he was sitting peacefully, Wally climbed up beside him when he found he couldn't ignore it any longer, and watched their legs as Dick made no effort to separate where their thighs touched.
"I thought I lost you," Wally says before he realizes it, and he coughs a little nervously. "You ah, you should try to... not drown, you know. That was pretty crappy of you."
Dick's eyes widened, the blues looking painfully bright in the artificial light, and then he managed a breathy laugh. It didn't sound completely honest, but the sound was a comfort all the same.
After sitting there for a moment, Wally murmured something about a pulse and gently curled his fingers around the other's neck. He balanced his thumb against the other's Adam's apple and his fingers stretched out, the latter three tangling in some of his hair and the index brushing lightly against the back of his ear. The pulse under his fingers was rapid and he thought he could feel his own heart starting to mimic it.
Dick watched him with a look in his eyes that he didn't recognize, and at first, couldn't even meet. It was so warm that it almost burnt, and the small smile that joined it made him completely unaware of his own heart. For a moment, that smile parted like Dick wanted to say something, and then he cut himself off.
Before Wally could ask, Dick's hands were sliding along his jaw, and then he was kissed. This time, his lips were warm and responsive, and much more than he had ever imagined. It was enough to make him think that maybe he was just imagining it, and he gave a small sound- maybe from surprise, or joy, or something else between the two on the spectrum.
Dick jerked back with the quickest apology he had ever heard from him, a brief flicker of fear crossing through his big eyes, and Wally's mouth ran before his mind did.
"I'm in love with you," Wally blurted out.
Those big blue eyes grew even bigger for a moment, and then Dick laughed a genuine laugh before he leaned back in and kissed him again.
It was 11:14 on a Sunday when Wally realized that his best friend was in love with him, too.
-F.J. III
