If I actually wrote this, would anyone read it? Like, is there even an audience for this? I'm serious, guys, I have no idea what to do with this.


Your name is ALLEN WALKER, (not MOYASHI, IDIOT APPRENTICE, or THE FOURTEENTH, despite what some might insist), and you are an EXORCIST. This means that you work for the BLACK ORDER, and that you are a wielder of a special power called INNOCENCE. Since you are a GENTLEMAN, you steadfastly ignore the rampant innuendo, and even think that it is kind of poetic sometimes, if a little ironic, but that last bit threatens to lead you into a different universe, so you forget it ever happened.

You might be described as ADORABLOODTHIRSTY, but you would disagree, likely with POLITE SELF-DEPRECATION. You know bloodthirsty. Your KISMESIS is one of the most bloodthirsty people you know. But you are not.

If anything, you are adorable, but you find this hard to believe, because even though your INNOCENCE is a gift from God, it has made the arm it is embedded in look very odd, what some (including you) might call UGLY. Your STRANGE WHITE HAIR and your STRANGE SCAR make you glad you're sh-shor...not tall, so that you can duck in crowds. Your STRANGE EYE, which is normal and gray when isn't spinning in its socket trying to find enemy AKUMA in the area, makes you STRANGE even among your fellow EXORCISTS, who are very rare and always A LITTLE STRANGE anyway. You normally wear HOODS in public, and you always wear GLOVES.

As for bloodthirsty, you would still disagree, though a majority of the ORDER now believes that you are. You hear a VOICE in your head sometimes, telling you to join the DARK SIDE and KILL YOUR FRIENDS, but you don't listen. Despite this, everyone thinks you're a TRAITOR and a HERETIC. The majority of your coworkers distrust you or outright hate you.

But no one has ever hated you more than fellow EXORCIST Kanda Yuu.

Since the moment he met you, he has hated you for being CURSED, and SHORT, and WEAK. But he doesn't hate you for being a POSSIBLE THREAT. He never has.

He just hates you.

You hate him.

You are in HATELOVE, or so you thought until today.


When I read Homestuck, I always thought that the quadrant romance was one of the most interesting character tools known to man. I also for some reason thought that it would be hilarious to imagine what that would imply for the character relationships in D. Gray-Man. Not really a crossover, but...here it is, I guess. Do...do people actually want to read this?

You tell me.

Cheers!