CHAPTER 1

It was a warm summer's evening, and Vince Noir was sitting in a bar waiting for Leroy to appear. As he spun on his chair, cloak swishing around him, he noticed a short fat man run into the toilets with tears pouring down his unusually large face.

Vince considered going and comforting the distressed man, because he was so kind at heart, and he needed a wee. He swung his glittery legging-encased legs off the stool and followed him into the toilets. Inside, the man was in the corner on the floor in a puddle of tears.

"Alright," greeted Vince, standing at least a metre from the mess, so as not to get his boots wet, "what's up? My name's Vince."

The sniffling man looked up at the mod, and in an American accent, sobbed "Sebastian. Do you really want to hear my depressing story?"

"Yeah sure," nodded Vince as he was distracted by the mirror.

"Ok. I'm a scientist, an amazing scientist, I invent wonderful things. They're going to go on sale this year. Robot Kangaroos to carry babies, rocket boots, and toilets that will follow you round. I should be happy, but... I haven't ever had a proper girlfriend. I'm too ugly!" at this, he burst into a fresh wave of tears.

"Listen, Seb, I think I can help you. All you need is a makeover, I'd be happy to help," Vince offered, slightly disgusted at the sight of a grown man blubbering like a baby. "I'll put you on a diet, take you shopping, maybe plastic surgery..."

"Really?" Sebastian shot up, his eyes shining, and hugged Vince hard. One montage later, he was a new man. Fit and handsome, they walked into a bar and girls swooned for him. Just before he left with a group of girls, the pretty scientist turned to Vince. "Thank you, you've done so much for me!"

"No problem." Vince looked down shyly, twisting his toe. He knew this was the part of the story where the scientist would reward him with something.

"Here, have a lolly."

"What, that's it!"

"Use it wisely. It's a time-travelling lolly. Take care!" Sebastian hurried off, leaving Vince holding the lolly.

The bell tinkled, as the door of the Nabootique opened to let Vince in, beaming. Howard looked suspiciously at his best friend. Or it might not have been suspiciously, you can't really tell with Howard's tiny eyes.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Wait, get Naboo and Bollo first, I have great news!" Vince exclaimed jumping about excitedly. Just as he said this, the tiny shaman, flanked by his familiar entered the room.

Vince acknowledged them, and then went on to explain his lolly experience. The group listened cautiously. When he had finished, Bollo turned to Naboo and in an ominous voice said "I gotta bad feeling about this." Naboo rolled his eyes at him, and then looked curiously at Vince. "What are you gunna do with that?"

"I might go to the 70's and make friends with Sid Vicious, imagine that!" said Vince dreamingly.

"No," interrupted Howard, "let's go slightly into the past and surprise ourselves!" The tall northern jazz freak waggled his eyebrows at the others excitedly, which merely earned him some slightly disgusted looks. Bollo suggested going to the planet of the apes, and started an argument with Howard on the validity of its future existence. Naboo and Vince argued about what acts to see at Woodstock. Soon, they were all fighting to get the lollypop. It came to an abrupt end when someone (Howard) accidentally starting the time machine, and they were all thrown far into the future.