Hey everyone it's summer time! Most of the time, I would do more writing in the summer… But. My computers going AWOL and is broken. I'm using a friends computer to write this but any who's. enjoy.
I don't own Inuyasha and I don't own the song "Jungle" by Emma Louise.
I watched him across the room. He chatted with a few of…. Really the only people he ever talked to about something other than his business. Miroku, Kouga, and even Inuyasha all stood in a circle sending she glances my way.
Most likely talking about mine and Sesshomaru's incident….
Fine let them talk.
I let Sango pull me into a rather dull conversation along with Ayame and Rin about their new dieting plans. It seemed that's what anybody talked about these days. I glance back toward the guys group and lock eyes with Sesshomaru. We hold it for a minute before I drop my gaze away first.
"… So Kagome. What's going on with your and Sesshomaru?" Sango brought the attention of the females in our group on me. My face heated up as the blush crept across my face.
"Um.. I… I think we're gonna be fine." I plastered a fake smile to my face and grinned so hard it hurt. The truth was, I think we we're far from it. "Hey guys I'm going to get a drink. Do any of you want one?" I received a no as a reply headed toward the bar.
Some client of Sesshomaru's was holding a party that the man we're invited to and they we're allowed to bring us 'wives' to. You see, Sesshomaru was CEO, aka Big Man of his own Technology-based business while Miroku, Inuyasha, and Kouga we're his trusted… Whatever. Anyway, they ran the whole thing if something happened to Sesshomaru.
In a dark room we fight, make up for our love.
I've been thinking, thinking about you, about us.
While I was waiting for a drink, I knew he was beside me all to quick.
"Fancy seeing you here, husband." I turned my head to look at him full on.
Hoping he'd take the bait.
"Likewise, wife."
Hmmm.
Honestly, me and him haven't spoken this many words to each other in at least a week.
"I'm surprised your even talking to me now."
"Me too."
My answer stunned us both. I didn't know way I decided to brake my silence here. In a crowed room. His golden eyes shifted slightly in… Nervousness. As he didn't know what to expect from me. Like I was… Unstable.
"Can we go now. I think… I'd like to really talk to you Sesshomaru. "
Whatever he thought I was going to say wasn't this. He nodded his head slowly as he went to retrieve our things and I walked outside to wait by the car.
He walked out slowly and apprehensively as if he didn't know what to make of this situation. I wasn't used to the great Sesshomaru, the man I loved and married, act like this. It was unsettling to know that I was causing his discomfort.
He unlocked the car door and we we're off heading back to the house.
XxX
The drive had been silent , just as silent as we we're now. I was in our bedroom. I had been sleeping in on of the guest bedrooms up at this point so I felt out of place. But, poor Sesshomaru looked it.
"Look," my voice startled him. "I think it's time we talked about… You know… That."
This wasn't something I really wanted to do. But, it had to happen.
And we're moving slow, our hearts beat so fast.
I've been dreaming, dreaming about you, about us.
"I'm so, so sorry." Tears started to pour down my face in waves. Sesshomaru's face went cold and he chose to stay in the seat on the other side of the room.
A couple weeks ago, I went off the deep end. I had been battling a bout of depression. The medicine hadn't been helping and I couldn't get a doctors appointment since he was out on vacation.
Sesshomaru tried to help. He really truly honestly did. And I just took all that help and love, and it on the floor and crushed it to a million tiny pieces.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head, oh.
I was so tired of what at the time, seemed like pity, and snapped. I told him the reason why I was like this was because he didn't love me enough. That he never cared. That it was his fault that we had lost the baby.
I know now, hell I knew then that the words I had spoken weren't true. I just wanted a scapegoat out of my reality. I thought it had gotten to hard for me because I was too weak.
He sent me to a physiologist after that and she helped immensely. I had just stopped my sessions earlier this week and I needed to apologize.
The tears had stopped for now as I stared into his cold eyes.
"You just have to know, I didn't mean any of it." I had leapt off the bed now and was literally on my knees, looking up at him and begging him to forgive me. I knew I didn't deserve his forgiveness and begging on my knees was beneath me. I loved this man so much, I would do anything to keep him.
I was speaking soft, see the pain in your eyes,
I've been feeling, feeling for you, my love.
His gaze softened as he reached down and pulled me up gently by the chin. He kissed me on the lips and is had been so long, since I had felt this intimacy between us.
I went to straddle his lap and placed my hands around his neck as his tightened around my hair. I was trying to meld right into his warm body because it was where I belonged. I grinded my hips around his growing erection as he picked me up and laid me back down on the bed.
And our bodies are tired, our shadows will dance,
I've been aching, aching for you, my love.
All the fighting and the silent treatments left me exhausted , achy, and wanting.
I went to unbutton his shirt when he stopped me. He leaned up and was looking down at me
His face contorted in sorrow as he stood up and straightened out his clothes and hair.
My face must have showed my confusion as he sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
"This time away from you, gave me time to think." He wasn't getting any farther than that.
My stuttering began. "But, but I apologized… And you… We kissed.. And no. You can't just do that. I thought you forgave me…. What…What is going on?"
His expression looked pained.
"I let myself get carried away."
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head, oh.
"What you told me, what we went through, was, is tough right now for me. I had given up everything to help you through your tough time."
I stood up in front of him. "That's what husband's do Sesshomaru. They're there for their wife's in a time of need."
"… I know But,"
My love is wasted, sorry for this I never meant to be, hurting ourselves, hurting ourselves
And I'm complicated, you won't get me out of trouble, understanding myself, understanding myself
"But what?" My anger was slowly taking over. "I'm sorry my 'depression' was too much to handle. Believe me, I would much rather have everything handed to me on a silver platter and that I wasn't born with the damn matching silver spoon in my mouth!"
His whole body shook with rage. "You know damn well this has nothing to with that. I want to leave."
Just as fast as my anger came, it was gone. "… Leave?"
Another sigh. "Yes Kagome. Leave. Let's be honest here. I don't think we would have lasted that long. We're complete opposites."
I sunk to my knees in a crouch and clasped my arms around my head. "Opposites attract Sesshomaru, " I said in a whisper.
"I'm sorry Kagome."
I didn't speak and I soon heard his retreating footsteps.
"But I love you…"
"I love you…"
And my love is wasted, sorry for this I never meant to be, hurting ourselves, hurting ourselves
And I'm complicated, you won't get me out of trouble, understanding myself, understanding myself
"I love you Sesshomaru."
I went to the guest bedroom that I had been sleeping in and spotted my sleeping meds. I took most of the pills out of the bottle and swirled them in my hand. I took a deep breath and swallowed them with the glass of water on my nightstand.
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head is a jungle, jungle,
My head, oh, oh, oh, oh oh...
I was so confused. My head was a mess, a jumble, a jungle.
Slowly though, I was fading fast, as my brain, head, and thoughts cleared…
Until there was no more thinking…
Yeah I know the Characters were OOC but I don't really care…. Um yeah it's unbeted. Sorry bout that.
R & R !
