I, in no way, shape, or form, own the rights to any of the characters affiliated with The Cat Returns or Studio Ghibli. Although I do wish I did... All of the OCs that may be found within this work of fiction, are mine, and no one else's. So, now that the usual spiel has been typed, enjoy!~


April the 1st

Spring (春)

It was in the warm gentle breeze of a setting afternoon sun, that the hustle and bustle of Japan fully thrived.

As the country's people went on about their lives either going home, going out, or simply carrying along with their everyday business, each and every person moved with a purpose; like a clock of their own design, with fate paving their lives onto an intricate map. They each tread their own path, unknowingly weaving it for themselves, while feeling their own emotions and going through their own personal circumstances. They laughed, and they cried. Every one of them was small, infinitely small, and yet they were still so important; just a single insignificant yet significant piece of everyday life, like the corner of a seven billion piece puzzle, simultaneously existing for the sake of simply existing in the world. A single person could be seen as important to either one or no one.

Some see it as a lonely reality. Others may find it poetic.

For while most citizens would return home to loved ones, others could be seen returning to no one, and some would have no home to go to. You had your Moms and Dads. You had your dog walker and the person begging on the side of the street. You also had your closet drug addicts, the open addicts, and the occasional cigarette smoker or two. It was from amongst them that you would find people like the young and brave, energetic partygoer, or the tired and underpaid worker who is stuck working the graveyard shift. Both come out to greet the day's end, and the darkening streets welcome them with artificial lights and flashing neon.

Thus, to simplify my point: every being has a story.

Be them animal, human, monster, or creation - all creatures have a tale to tell.

In regards to the heroine of this one, it was during one of these many normalish afternoons that from amongst the crowd of a local Japanese square, Haru Yoshioka, a not-so-average, yet quite average looking woman, was walking toward her home with her ever-faithful best friend since grade school, Hiromi, by her side. The day was April 1st, and it was the eve of her twenty-first birthday, so obviously they were going to celebrate it with style. They were going to party, and dance, and drink the freaking night away!

At least… they had been. Until now.

"Uh-huh! Oh… Wait Tsuge, um…"

Haru, who was excited and walking with a skip in her step, immediately paused upon hearing her shorter friend's response to her boyfriend of three years. The manner of her voice sounded troubled. It alerted the younger girl that something was amiss.

"Hiromi-"

Spinning around, Haru stared curiously over at the honey-haired girl who held her cellphone up to her ear with a torn expression adorning her lovely features. She watched as her friend's honeycomb gaze went up to meet hers, and the shorter girl's brows furrowed downward in worry.

Haru hurriedly took a step forward. "Hey Hiromi, what's wrong? What did he say?"

The girl in question gave Haru an apologetic look before speaking into the phone, "Hey Tsuge. Yeah... Ya know… I'm honestly really sorry about this, but I'm sort of with Haru on a girl's night right now, so I'll need to call you back in a little whi-… Oh. Wow… I-I mean, I-I really hope that those reservations weren't too expensive. Oh wow."

The mixture of uncontained, wide-eyed wonder and stress in her voice was uncanny.

"Reservations?" Haru murmured. The brunette's senses sharpened. With that, the taller girl's curiosity peaked, but her main inquiry was what was causing her friend's distress. "What reservations?"

"I know, I know," Hiromi carried on. "You've only got a few more days before the draft, but… Yes, I will call you back-"

Haru jumped as her friend suddenly let out a sharp bark of a laugh. That was what she got for listening in on their conversation. The sound of it cut through the air like a tangible knife, and Haru's eyes widened at her friend. She could not help but gawk at Hiromi's swift emotional turn. "Me being absent minded? Totally right, Tsuge. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black… Humph you know what, fine. Whatever. Yeah, I love you too... Alright… Love you again. Bye honey."

With that said – and with Haru's sanity just barely staying in tact - Hiromi pocketed her phone and let out a great sigh. The weight of it forced her shoulders to slide down a notch. The smaller woman shook her head wearily, looking up to meet Haru's scrutiny. She threw a hand to her head, feeling annoyed at the power of her innocent boyfriend's timing. The apparent mastery of him taking inopportune ventures was simply uncanny; so many dates had been missed because of this.

"Hiromi what was that about?"

"Oh, the usual. It was just one of Tsuge's countless ventures. Apparently, he was going to invite me out to dinner tonight. He said that he was able to get a reservation at Deux Coeurs de Paris, one of the most expensive establishments in the town. Did you know that its' name translates to 'Two Hearts in Paris'? He is such an idiot… but oh, is that romantic or what? Too bad he picked today of all days to ask me out. Otherwise I would have told him about our plans for your birthday. The restaurant is where so many proposals have happened, and I feel like my little Tsuge is so close to possibly proposing, but… Oh, I don't know."

As Hiromi's voice faded off, Haru felt a small trickle of disappointment from inside her that she immediately pushed away. This was not the time for her selfish thoughts.

Sending a somewhat forced smile in her friend's direction, Haru determinedly said, "It doesn't matter Hiromi. You're going."

"But we were going to-" Hiromi wrung her hands nervously.

Haru threw up a finger. "No buts! Well, except for my butt, but that's only because my butt don't lie."

She playfully patted at her tush.

"Haru!" Hiromi laughed, glancing around them, and lightly pushed against the aforementioned brunette's shoulder.

"What, it's just being honest!"

"Well, put that butt away!" Hiromi laughed again, but still felt a little nervous for leaving Haru. She placed a weary hand over her own arm for reassurance, before staring up through her bangs at her friend. The girl absolutely hated the thought of breaking a promise to her best friend, especially when it concerned something as important as her own birthday. "But you're sure that it's fine Haru?"

"Absolutely!" The younger woman confirmed.

Hiromi was only older than Haru by a few months.

"Well, if you say so…" Hiromi trailed off.

"Why, of course I do." Haru finally grinned.

Suddenly, there was a flash of movement and Haru found a huge weight being thrown her way.

"Ah!" she screamed.

As Hiromi hugged her best friend, entangling the taller girl in the tightest death grip that her tiny arms could manage, a happy, childlike squeal escaped her. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-"

Haru wheezed tightly, "You're welcome."

"I'm not done yet!" Hiromi threatened, "Ahem... Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! …Okay. Now I'm done."

As her arms came undone from around her, Haru's brow seemed to raise as high as her head.

"Are you sure Hiromi?" She asked.

"Yep!" Her friend only quipped.

"Are you positive?"

Hiromi pretended to fix an imaginary pair of glasses on her nose.

"As positive as a positive electron can be."

"Ooh, you're getting science-y on me. I like that." Haru winked down at her.

"But of course I am. I am a pimp, after all. Science gets all the bitches. Like Tsuge."

"True that."

Just then, her phone began to ring a second time. Airily, Hiromi reached into her purse to retrieve her phone, and looked to her friend. She made a face of mock horror at Haru. "Oh no, it's the Tsu-Tsu police. I think he's calling me to claim his next victim! Time to put up the churros-"

"Hiromi that… makes no sense whatsoever."

"So? Haru my dear, when have I ever made sense?"

"Quite right ol' chap."

"Cheerio ol' bean." Hiromi conspiringly smirked.

With a dramatic flair, she pressed the answer button, and an ecstatic grin spread across her face. Upon hearing her boyfriend's voice, Hiromi let out a tight and ear blasting squeal.

"Dammit Hiromi!" Haru muttered, quickly throwing her hands up to her ears.

Her curse fell upon a pair of deaf, love-struck ears.

"Oh, hey Tsuge! Yes, I'd love to! I'd love to… Yes, it's perfectly fine now. Okay, I've got it."

Haru beamed from beside the excited woman. She laughed once Hiromi started to bounce along the soles of her tiny feet, almost fluttering off the ground from her elation. The purse hanging from her arm jiggled along happily with her movements.

"Aww, that sounds wonderful. Okay, I've got it... Uh-huh. Yep, eight sounds great! Oh, I can't wait! I'll see you by then baby... K, love you!"

With that said, Hiromi rushed to put her phone away.

"So?" Haru jested from close beside her.

She softly nudged Hiromi with her shoulder. "What's the plan?"

In reply, Hiromi giggled girlishly. A light blush adorned the older girl's cheeks.

"Well, Tsuge said that he is coming by my apartment to pick me up at eight tonight, so I'll need to leave in a bit in order to get ready. The restaurant that we are going to eat at is a formal one... Oh, I hope that I have a dress at home-"

"I'm sure that I have one", Haru helpfully remarked.

"Oh, no-no."

Hiromi shook her head firmly at Haru.

"It's bad enough that I'm leaving you alone on your twenty-first birthday, but now I'm asking you for favors? I mean, come on Haru, how horrible of a friend would I be if I asked you for a dress on your birthday, too?"

"Hiromi," Haru firmly placed a hand on Hiromi's shoulder.

"Really, it's perfectly fine. If you need a dress, then I can loan you one. You and Tsuge will only have a few more days together since he will be going away soon. Unlike him, I will still have you for forever and a day. So, as your best friend, let me help you."

Hiromi blinked worriedly.

The dark haired girl let out a long groan of frustration. "Honestly Hiromi. We'll just speedily head over to my house and get you ready, so that you can go out and enjoy yourself. It's really no problem."

Her friend opened her mouth, suddenly going to say something.

"Hiromi," Haru breathed, jokingly, yet somewhat seriously making a fist in the aforementioned girl's direction. "Don't make me hit you."

Staring toward Haru, Hiromi finally deflated. A rueful smile tilted on her lips.

"So… you're truthfully okay with this?" She hopefully asked.

Haru titled her head, giving Hiromi a small smile. In it was the sincerity that only a true friend could hold.

"To be honest, I am a bit disappointed-"

Hiromi crossed her hands guiltily.

"-but I'm certainly not devastated. I've definitely got plenty more birthdays where this one comes from... Well, hopefully."

Haru's thoughts instantly drifted back to the Bureau, making her silently shake her head in order to clear it.

"Besides, we could always just celebrate it tomorrow," she rapidly added in an attempt to erase her momentary slip up. "And wouldn't that be fun? I already know the perfect place where I can celebrate my birthday party in your absence, so you shouldn't have to worry about that. Together, we could have the after party to the actual party-"

"-and we will drink hard into the night!" Hiromi exclaimed, "That I assure you. Oh Haru, you are so amazing! Thank you, thank you!"

The honey-haired girl hopped back onto Haru for a second round of hugging, throwing her arms tightly around her friend. Honestly, you'd think that the two of them were a couple, stuck in a deep discussion and embracing in the center of town like that. Such a public display; the taller of the two mentally sweat dropped, suddenly very aware of the stares that they were getting and moving them over to the less crowded side of the side walk, as Hiromi's feet drug across the ground.

"Not really, but okayyyy Hiromi. You can quit hugging me at any time. You know, while I do enjoy the numerous praises, I cannot say that I necessarily prefer every passerby ogling at us-"

"Let them watch!" Hiromi dramatically bellowed, clinging tighter onto her shoulders.

Haru's face turned into a slight scowl. She knew this side of Hiromi. It was exactly like fourth grade theatre all over again.

Practically groping at Haru, she cried, "Though they may stare, no one can destroy the way that we love. It is endless; passionate. It is true, tender and, dare I say, erotic."

Oh god.

At this point, a few men and women had paused on the street, openly gaping at them. She could tell that Hiromi was feeding off all of the attention, as she physically glowed with pride, and drove it home with the dramatics.

"Shut up, Hiromi!" Haru mock-yelled at her, formally and utterly annoyed.

As she wiggled to try to break free, Haru found that she could not because her arms were trapped from beneath Hiromi's weight. She glared venomously down at her.

"But I cannot shut up, my dear, for how can I be quiet when the whole world knows not of the deep love that I share for you?"

"Stop it-"

Hiromi swiftly hopped down in a heroic fashion, and took hold of her hand. She then pulled on the tanned appendage, the short girl beginning to noticeably clump in the direction of Haru's house.

The sight of it all was hilariously queer… Meaning odd… Right?

Haru's tiny thought bubble was popped, as Hiromi expertly shot through it with her next words.

"Come henceforth Haru, so that we may commence with the ritual of love making-"

"Hiromi!"

The girl in question made a motion with her hand and took one last stomping step, before turning back to grin at Haru.

"Run?" she suggested.

Haru visibly sighed. Between her adventures with the Bureau and the skills that Hiromi had built up from lacrosse, the poor brunette had undoubtedly become well accustomed to the usual sprint or two, especially from their rougher cases. She sent Hiromi a painful glance.

"Do I have to?" she asked, though she began to mentally prepare herself.

"Well, of course. Now is the time to go dress up for the bae. Come along, Pond!"

"I hate you."

"You love me."

As Hiromi went to start pulling her off again, Haru could not help but look around herself, as if searching for something, or someone,in particular. Her gaze first traveled over the train tracks and the book store, before moving to gaze across the street at her favorite cafe, looking past the couple of cars that were whizzing by them. She noticed how they all zoomed on the pavement, shooting forward like lightening past her vision. Her feet subconsciously froze in place.

Honestly, she hotly thought, after all of the trouble that traffic has caused me, I should really petition for a lower mileage sign. Humph.

"What's wrong Pond?"

The pair of brown irises passed over the small group of tables that were occupied by customers. Just as she was about to give up on her search, Haru noticed a large spot of white that was sitting complacently underneath the bars of one of the café tables. A large smile instantly appeared on her face.

Ah, just the lard she was looking for.

"Muuuuta," her mind called.

She stared deeply into his backside, silently willing him to turn her way. The lift of his head made her pulse quicken, and she did not know whether it was from the power of the Bureau's magic or from the unbending power of her stare, but he tilted his head behind himself and managed to catch Haru's eye. His orbs widened in surprise.

"Chicky?" Haru could read the extremely familiar movement of Muta's lips.

With a flick of her neck, she merely gestured with her head, telling him to follow her. The cat's eyes narrowed disgustedly at the thought of actually having to get up, but showed that he was visibly considering it, flicking his tail in a thoughtful swaying motion. Finally, she had to suppress her laughter when the fat cat sighed in a non-catlike fashion, and slowly humored her, hopping carefully from the stool. She could clearly imagine the words that he was surely muttering to himself about her.

"Hey, earth to planet Haru. Yoo-hoo!"

Haru jumped, blinking stupidly over at Hiromi. The shorter of the two humans curved her neck to look over in the direction that her friend was staring.

"Who were you looking at?"

The usual lie fell easily off of her tongue. "Oh, just some guy."

Hiromi's brow immediately flat lined. "Haru, I swear it is always a guy-"

"Ha-ha, I know, I know."

"You are freaking boy crazed. I mean, when you are gazing out of the window during class – it's a guy."

"Yeah, but-"

"When you are ignoring me and staring out the window of a bus – it's a guy."

"Not always-"

"When you are looking out a window, taking so long that I have to enter a public restroom, only to find you standing on the edge of a cold toilet seat-"

"That was one time!" Haru interjected. Her face flushed.

"-it's a guy," Hiromi neatly finished. "Wow, you are such a space case sometimes, Haru. You need to make like E.T. and phone home?"

She laughed at her own joke, grinning like a fool.

The taller girl made a face, feeling all resolve leave her.

"Really Haru, guys are almost an obsession of yours. We definitely need to find you a boyfriend. Any-who, we've already wasted enough of this beautiful evening just standing here for absolutely no reason, except for comedic plot filler. So, you want to make like the Doctor and allonsy?"

"I guess," Haru sighed. "And Hiromi?"

Her friend cocked her head inquisitively, a few hairs falling in front of her eyes.

"Stop it with the Doctor Who references."

"But-"

"Just for my birthday. Also, as a bonus, never use that word again. Ever."

" ...What word?"

"Bae."

After a long moment of silent staring, the smaller of the two girls eventually laughed, and a dark sense of humor filled her eyes.

"Only ironically, my sweet Haru, only ironically. Now, geronimo!"

"Hiromi!"

With that said, Haru began to run after her friend.


Well, I certainly hope that you enjoyed your daily dose of Hiromi crack. I know that I sure didn't. Seriously though, if you hate it, I want to fervently apologize for my dorky, sleep-deprived sense of humor. If you love it though, then hallelujah, cookies all around! It's only going to get crackier and darker from here, folks. Oh, and fluffier, in certain aspects. Taking that in mind, I would love to hear your feedback and ideas throughout this story, not that many theories could be had as of yet. I mean, you don't even know any of the plot!

*laughs manically*

Ahem. Anyway, these chapters will be written in short spurts, because I just roll that way, so I should be able to get at least one or two chapters up and rolling each week if you choose to stick with me. With that said, don't forget to leave a review if you found this funny or stupid, or ya know, just don't review it at all. Either way I'll still love ya. So yeah, I hope you all like it so far. Bye!