"I just woke up one day, and I realized I love you."
Even I didn't fully understand the extent of my feelings. It may have seemed foolish, the way I let my feelings slip out so easily during one of our talks, but I couldn't help it. You'd asked me first. I didn't want to get between you and the person you loved already, so I lied. I pretended I had no idea what you were asking me. But I had the weirdest feeling. If I didn't tell you, I would lose you forever. You'd never turn back, your eyes focusing ahead, unfaltering, never sparing a glance at me. I thought I could hold it in.
Yet here I am, confessing my feelings to you. Emotions that I don't understand, emotions that I held deeply inside me, and felt guilty for harboring. It makes me happier than you could know, simply listening to your voice go on, your face smiling at me, but never for me. Maybe I'll never understand my feelings. I just hope that whatever may happen, I can stay close to you.
But is that what I really want? To see both of you happy with each other? I'm not that selfless. I've had times where I've wanted to give up. It hurts so much to see you and to be away from you at the same time. You're all I think about. Every crevice of my brain is filled with thoughts of you. It's so confusing. I hate you and love you. I hate how you can't see my feelings. No, you know of them, but you insist on pretending everything's all right between us. You've seen me in my most vulnerable moments. You've seen a face that I've never shown anyone.
It scares me how easily I can talk to you. I've had deep, dark, secrets that I've hidden for years, but they all seem to spill out when I talk to you. Your face, your tone, your voice, it makes me vulnerable. You're my weakness. I've wanted you for what seems like an eternity, but it's only been a while since we met. Why do I feel so strongly towards you when I know that you love someone else?
I will never surpass that person. I can never be the most important person to you, and that knowledge hurts me deeply. The pain was negligible at first, an itch that would not go away. Then it turned into something more. My arteries were being torn out, my undead heart squeezing as tight as it could go. Then it turned into unbearable agony and torture: my heart was being violently torn in half, fingernails scratching and tearing at my flesh. I was dying on the inside, but you still didn't turn my way.
All you cared about was that girl. That girl who had stolen your heart before I had a chance. I'm insanely jealous of her. You know this. You see right through me, how could you not? Did my feelings not tug at you from the back of your head? Could you not have spared a single thought, a single moment in a whole day?
Of course not... she's all you can see. All you care about. Even though I've confessed my feelings to you, even though you know how much I was hurt by you, I still don't exist. Isn't there any way that I can get your attention? Can't I make you love me? Please, please, please look at me. Just turn around. Please turn around and look at me. It's gotten to the point where I've accepted that you're going to break my heart, but please, look at me. Please show that you know I'm here.
"I know. I knew all along."
A/N: The story itself is exactly 666 words if anyone bothers to count. Also if anyone's been waiting, sorry for the wait. I might also delete this soon. It depends.
