Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers, and I am making no money from this. This is simply an appreciative fan's attempt at writing in Rowling's wonderful world with her amazing characters.
Author's Note: This is based off of the movie, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, not the book, hence the differences. I feel blasphemous for saying this, but I actually prefer the movie's version of Snape's death over the book's. I didn't like that he died at all, but in the Shrieking Shack, the place of a childhood horror? I loved Alan Rickman's performance. It was heart-wrenching to watch, but so beautifully done. I loved that Harry looked upon Snape with compassion, and that there was more dialogue for Snape.
This is AU.
Completed 07/25/11.
You Have Your Mother's Eyes
By Sindie
In the chaos of the battle at Hogwarts, Harry, Ron, and Hermione found themselves almost alone now. They were crouching behind some old wooden rowboats leaning up against the outside of the boathouse. The boathouse was a part of Hogwarts rarely visited, and Harry hadn't been there since his arrival across the Black Lake as a first year.
Trying to keep his breathing under control, Harry kept his wand clutched firmly in his hand at his side, his whole body aching from recent events. He peered, as much as was possible, through the grimy cross-paned windows into the interior of the boathouse, knowing that it was currently occupied by Voldemort and Snape.
As the conversation, which was more one-sided on Voldemort's part, about the Elder Wand ensued between them, Harry's sense of foreboding increased. Snape appeared as collected and indifferent as ever at first during the course of the exchange, but Harry suspected the headmaster was simply supplying his master with the words he wanted to hear. Voldemort, however, remained unsatisfied, and Harry sensed that even Snape was now worried for his safety.
"Only I can live forever," Voldemort was saying in an unsettlingly calm voice, but fury was burning in his cold eyes.
Voldemort made a sudden slashing movement with his wand through the air, the Dark spell slicing into Snape's neck, and blood instantly poured from the wound, saturating the white collar exposed at the top of his black frockcoat with dark red. Snape fell unceremoniously to the floor, his upper half hitting the glass painfully. Voldemort proceeded to order Nagini to "kill."
Harry winced as the giant viper struck not once, not twice, but six times. Harry was shaking, trying not to cry out himself. Voldemort disappeared at once with his beloved snake, leaving the bleeding Snape to his fate.
Harry's legs carried him into the boathouse before he realized what he was doing. He wasn't entirely sure why he was entering the place, as he had come to despise Snape almost as much as Voldemort, but being witness to such a cruel and horrible attack was enough to undo anyone. Even Snape didn't deserve to die like that.
Harry pushed open the door and heard Snape's ragged breathing and shuddering gasps. The Boy-Who-Lived wasted not another moment and was at Snape's side, reaching toward him and placing his hand over the older wizard's neck, where the worst of the damage had been done.
Snape's eyes connected with Harry, and in that moment, Harry felt compassion for the man he hated. Snape's mouth moved, trying to form words, but at first, nothing came, then: "Take them… Take them… Please…"
Not only was Snape's voice affected by his mortal injuries, but it was desperate, begging, broken, raw, and filled with regret. Harry had never heard the wizard clothed in constant black speak in such a manner; it had always been sneering, filled with hatred, cold, indifferent, but the sheer depth of emotion Snape's voice held now broke into Harry further.
Snape was begging. His face was contorted in agony, and his brow was creased with sorrow, and then Harry realized the most startling thing of all: Snape, the man who Harry thought had no emotion, no heart, was crying.
His tears. Snape wanted Harry to collect his tears. Harry quickly and frantically turned toward Hermione for a vial or flask, and she didn't fail to comply. Holding the small vial gently to Snape's cheek, Harry gathered every precious tear that streaked down his face from his watery black eyes. When the stream of tears abated, Harry removed the vial and grasped it tightly in a fist, holding onto it like it was worth more than gold.
"Take them to the Pensieve," came Snape's dying voice, and Harry understood at once that these were no regular tears. They contained Snape's memories, each one a gift to Harry that he hadn't demanded of the man, but Snape had given willingly.
Momentarily focused on the vial of tearful memories, Snape asked gently, "Look at me."
Harry's eyes shifted from the vial and locked with Snape's black eyes once again, and all Harry could do was gaze upon the bleeding, tattered man in front of him with sorrow. Harry kept his hand on Snape's neck, trying to staunch the bleeding, but he could feel the man's life force slowly draining from him.
"You have your mother's eyes," Snape very nearly whispered, and for another moment, the two wizards kept each other's gaze.
Harry knew without knowing or understanding, but with feeling, that there was something more to Snape, and for the first time, in his open vulnerability, Snape had laid his soul bare to Harry. Harry had always been known for his ability to love, to forgive. This was his chance to forgive Snape. He searched urgently for the right words, but instead watched as Snape blinked, turned his head slightly, and stopped breathing.
x x x x x
Severus knew he was dying, and regret filled him. He didn't even think he would have the chance to tell Harry Potter the information Dumbledore had entrusted him with. He had already felt like a failure on so many levels, and now he was at the end of his life, unable to even move, and he was to die, disappointment plaguing him to his final breath.
But then the boy had miraculously come to him and was kneeling down in front of him, touching him, trying to help him, and looking at him with Lily's eyes. For the first time, Severus didn't see hatred in them on Potter's face, but instead what he had experienced and missed deeply for years when he had had Lily in his life.
There was no other way to tell Potter to the information other than to show him, and Severus knew he didn't have many breaths left in him, so as he bled out his life, he cried out his memories to share with the boy.
Those beautiful green eyes were looking at him again, and Severus blinked, still focusing on those eyes. Only the eyes remained; everything around them grew blurry, and Potter's face disappeared. The face that held those wonderful eyes was now surrounded by a red halo of long hair, which was brushing against his cheeks and forehead as if in a caress. The face of a young, lovely woman gazed down upon Severus, and she was beaming at him in all her radiance.
"Lily," Severus croaked, unable to find his proper voice, and he felt his eyes tearing up again.
"Shh, Sev, now it's time I held you."
Lily leaned over him and brought uncharacteristically strong and sturdy arms around his battered and worn body, and she pulled him to her chest and rocked him, as he had done all those years ago with her body when he had found her dead in Godric's Hollow.
"Lily-" Severus tried to speak again, but she stroked his hair and silenced him with a kiss.
"Don't try to speak right now, Sev. I know everything you've done, and now it's time to forgive yourself. You don't need to ask anything of me; you have me, Severus. You've had me with you all these years… in here." She placed her hand over his heart. "You don't have to die, not after everything you've been through."
"What do you mean?" Severus asked, shaking his head, not understanding why or how she could so easily forgive him, or what she meant about him not having to die.
"You can live, truly live," Lily supplied.
"Or what? Can't I stay here… with you?" Severus nearly begged.
"I will always be here waiting, Severus, but the choice remains yours alone. Do you wish to come with me now, or do you wish to live again?"
Severus didn't know what to say.
x x x x x
When Snape seemed to breathe his last, Harry's mouth hung open.
"No, no," he whispered, shaking his head. "Hermione, please – something from your bag!" Harry felt like he had when he was losing Dobby: at an utter loss.
Hermione came to Harry's side, Ron staying back, dumbfounded. She placed her hand on the other side of Snape's neck and felt the faintest of heartbeats.
"Respirio," she murmured, pointing her wand at Snape's chest, and his lungs began to function again.
"It won't last long," she said, "if he continues to bleed like that."
Pulling the dittany from her endless bag, Hermione handed it to Harry. "You know what to do," she said quietly, moving back to him some space.
Harry nodded, blinking back tears, and ripped the fabric open at Snape's collar, exposing his neck and upper chest. Nagini had done extensive damage to the pale flesh; several lacerations filled Snape's neck, shoulder, and chest. Harry poured the entire vial of dittany onto the wounds and watched as they mended themselves.
"The poison, the snake's venom… Mr. Weasley survived it," Harry spoke desperately. "It won't kill him, will it?"
Hermione shook her head, defeated. "I don't know, Harry. Only time will tell. Snape was attacked much worse than Mr. Weasley."
Before he could reply, Harry heard Voldemort's voice echoing through the air, calling off the battle for one hour, asking Harry to surrender to him. Harry bit his lip.
"I have to go to him," Harry said. "I have to see what Snape wanted to show me, and then I have to go to him; enough people have died already. Stay with him, will you?" Harry gazed imploringly upon his two best friends.
"Of course, Harry," Hermione said, "but swear to me you'll be back. Please-"
Ron stepped forward and came to Hermione's side. "We'll stay with him, mate, until you come back. You will come back."
Harry wanted to believe he would be back, but he made no promises. Snape was breathing and remained unconscious, but he was alive.
"I'll do my best," Harry said, hugging Hermione and then Ron. "Get him help if you can… I don't know how much more we can do for him."
Hermione nodded, wiping tears from her eyes, and Ron gave Harry an uncertain smile. Harry stood and made for the exit, turning back one last time to see his friends surrounding Snape. Somehow, Harry knew Snape was on his side and belonged among his friends.
x x x x x
When the pain that had previously wracked his body returned in one swift blow, Severus wondered why he had decided to leave Lily for this… not only physical pain, but all the emotional pain he had accumulated over his lifetime. He realized his eyes must still be shut, as everything was black, but he could feel that he was lying on a firm mattress rather than on the floor of the boathouse, so someone must have moved him.
Try as he might, he could not find the strength to open his eyes, so he focused on listening. He heard murmurs of voices across the room, but no discernable voice stood out. He wondered how long he would be resigned to lying there like an invalid, unable to move a single muscle, even though he willed himself otherwise.
Was the battle over, then? Who had won? Severus was left alone with his thoughts for what could have been a few minutes or several hours, but he slowly found himself able to see again, although his vision was blurry. A fuzzy shape emerged not more than three feet above him, and Severus blinked, hoping to see more clearly.
"He's awake!" someone shouted, and much to Severus's surprise, the young woman sounded relieved. "Harry, Professor Snape opened his eyes!"
Harry? Potter was alive? But how could that be possible? Hadn't Dumbledore told him the boy had to die? Severus's heartbeat sped up, and he moved his lips, but nothing came forth.
Another figure joined the first, and Severus heard Potter's unmistakable voice. "Sir? Can you hear me?"
Severus wanted to retort with something scathing. Did Potter think him an idiot? But then he remembered his last encounter with the boy and seeing Lily moments later, and some of his anger left him. If anything, Severus was frustrated that he couldn't talk, and he had questions he wanted answered.
Thankfully, his eyes were improving, and he could see Potter's face more plainly. The young wizard was smiling at him, which Severus found odd and unsettlingly ridiculous. Now that Potter knew the truth, did he expect to be best mates?
"I'm glad to see you're awake, Professor," Potter said quietly. "I'll let you rest for now. There's no hurry. The important thing is that you're all right."
Severus thanked the fates for that one small mercy, but as he drifted out of consciousness, his last thoughts were that perhaps Potter was more like Lily than he realized.
x x x x x
Only a day had passed since the battle, and that was not enough time to bring proper healing. Ron was, understandably, spending the majority of his time with his family, mourning the loss of Fred, so that meant Ginny was absent from Harry's side as well. Hermione had remained a constant companion to him during that time as he returned several times a day to the infirmary to see if there had been any change in Snape's delicate condition.
The first few hours had been the worst. While Harry had been battling Voldemort, Snape had already been brought to the hospital wing by Ron and Hermione, who were witness to Hagrid bringing his supposed dead body back to Hogwarts. Madam Pomfrey had amassed several students and various Order members to help her tend to the injured, even before the battle was over, but while the matron was wary of treating Dumbledore's murderer, she kept him under her care. Snape, however, had been very weak and didn't appear as if he would survive then.
When Harry had found out the truth about Snape loving Lily and having been loyal to Dumbledore for years, it only served to further compound his hope that the man would live. Once Voldemort was gone, Harry wasted not a second in seeking out Snape, and although not surprised to find the older wizard unconscious, he silently admitted his disappointment to not finding him in a better way. Harry's heart ached with remorse for hating Snape the past seven years.
Shaking his head, he murmured to the wizard, "But you didn't exactly make it easy to like you." Harry's lips twisted into a small and ironic smile.
Fortunately, Snape's condition seemed to improve, and he stabilized. Madam Pomfrey had been treating him for the venom, and it appeared to be working. Still, to recover from the amount of blood loss Snape had experienced was no easy feat, let alone suffering from the poison of a large snake released directly into his veins.
Then Snape had opened his eyes, and Harry was overcome with relief and joy. He quickly realized how frail Snape still was and that he was incapable of speaking as of yet, so he restrained himself and let the man be. Harry knew, after all, that Snape's personality was thoroughly unpleasant by nature, and he didn't expect the wizard to suddenly be all smiles and laughter simply because he had survived the war.
More hours passed, and when Harry returned that evening after dinner, he came alone. Hermione was with Ron, comforting him during this difficult time. This time, Snape was sitting, propped up with several pillows, and a tray of untouched food, chicken broth and weak tea, sat in front of him. Snape was eyeing the food with evident distaste.
"Not hungry?" Harry queried. "I was famished after the battle, but then again…" Harry stopped, thinking it probably wouldn't go over too well if he made a joke about getting one's throat nearly ripped out.
Snape's gaze turned toward Harry, and he frowned, shaking his head.
Harry was unfazed by Snape's dark look as he took the seat next to the bed. "I've brought your memories back for you." Harry held them out for Snape, whose mouth was now slightly open, as if surprised by the gesture, and he slowly reached for the tiny vial. For a brief moment, Snape's fingers brushed against Harry's, but then he quickly snatched the vial away from the boy, as if he had been burned.
Snape clutched the vial protectively in his lap and studied Harry for many long seconds. Finally, he rasped, "How did you survive?"
Harry's face broke into a smile. "You didn't expect me to, huh? Not that I can blame you, after what Dumbledore told you, but yeah, I lived." Harry proceeded to explain the how the Elder Wand actually worked and how Voldemort had destroyed the part of him that had resided inside Harry.
If any of this came as a shock to Snape, he didn't let it be known, but rather uttered, "Leave it up to you to figure out a way to survive even when the odds are so stacked against you, Potter."
Harry snorted softly. "I guess I do have a name to live up to: The Boy-Who-Lived."
Snape didn't seem amused, however. "I am tired. I wish to rest."
"All right," Harry said, "I'll leave you to it, then. I just wanted to… you know…"
"Your gratitude is unnecessary," Snape interrupted. "Please do us both a favor and refrain from melting into a pile of sentimental mush that will surely embarrass us both. You know the truth now, and that's what matters. I can… live knowing that I protected you as I said I would."
"And will you be happy to live now, sir?" Harry blurted. "I promise not to be a constant bother or badger you with a million questions at once, but it would mean something to me if I knew you could be happy now that you don't have to serve any master. You're free."
Harry's words seemed to take a long time to reach Snape. Free? Snape wasn't sure what that really meant, but if what Harry said was sincere, Snape didn't expect the young wizard to hold anything over his head like Dumbledore or Voldemort had.
"I will be content enough, I suppose… in time," Snape replied quietly, looking purposefully out the window. He sighed and shifted in the bed. Snape gradually turned his head to look at Harry.
"Is that a satisfactory answer?" he asked, sarcasm tinting his voice.
Harry smiled slightly. Snape had never sought his approval before.
"I can live with it if you can," Harry replied, standing. "I'll let you rest now, sir. Talk to you later?"
"Unfortunately," Snape grumbled, turning away from Harry again, to which Harry only smiled further as he walked away.
x x x x x
Left to himself, Severus's lips twitched ever so slightly into the smallest of smiles.
You have your mother's eyes, Harry Potter, and you know what they say about eyes being the window to the soul… not that you'll ever hear me utter such inanity, he thought before drifting asleep into dreams more peaceful than he had experienced in seventeen long years.
