Tomorrow's Not the End

"He who does not weep, does not see."

-Le Miserables

Summary: Nathan , even after Quentin's death, is having trouble letting go of his friend. Jamie gives him the strength to move on, but never forget.

Author's Note: I apologize for not updating my other stories, I just have a large amount of writer's block. I had this idea for this story when I was watching the third episode of the sixth season. I loved Quentin and miss him. I think they haven't really gone into how Nathan is coping with the loss. This is how I see it.

Sam's Essay really made me sad, but touched me. That is the inspiration for this story:

"Whatever you imagined is wrong. There's nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the Ocean. It's deep and Dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love. I didn't know Quentin Fields but I'm jealous of him because I see how his absence has affected the people that did know him so I know that he did matter to them. And I know he was loved. People say Quentin Fields was a great basketball player. Graceful. Fluid. Inspiring. They say on a good night it almost seemed as though he could fly. And now he can."

I can hear his voice every day.

"Go harder Nate. What's wrong with you man? The Fade-away is weak, man! Get your head in the game!"

The nightmares come hard every night. Not of what has happened, but what never would. A boy's life taken away for no real reason. A boy that could have done so much in the world, but will never have the chance to.

I see Quentin a lot. I haven't really told anyone, just because my family has been through so much lately.

I got so attached to him. More than I thought I had. I just saw so much of me in him. And I got to see him morph and change into this amazing person. He played with my son and made him feel special. I owe him my life.

It is truly amazing what basketball can do.

I go to the River court everyday. I say I am going to practice, but that's not it. I am still able to hear the echoes of his voice calling out to me, pushing me harder. When I hear his voice, I go harder to the basket. I go left instead of right. I move even faster than normal. I try to silence the voices. Bu then I realize I he won't be there if the voices go. The actual silence sometimes becomes too much to bare, but it is better than not having Quentin.

Because he is urging me on.

It hurts not to be able to see him one last time. To see his face, and actually have a dialogue with him. He always said he was happy he got to be apart of my "come-back". But really, I was happy enough being apart of his beginning. His life was just beginning, not just with basketball. That boy could do anything he wanted. Truth be told he shouldn't be wasting his intelligence on the court when Haley was telling me how well he was doing inside the classroom.

Everyone has been so preoccupied lately. I don't want to bother Haley with this. She has students and Sam to deal with. It's not like I am going crazy or anything.

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"Mamma?" Jamie asked Haley as he entered the kitchen.

"What's up Jimmy-Jam?" Haley questioned, in the middle of grading essays for her fourth period class.

"Do people talk to other people, even though they aren't around?" Jamie asked.

"What do you mean?" She asked, confused.

"Like someone who went to heaven, do people still talk to them?"

"Sure, honey," Haley answered knowing who this was about. "You can pray to him anytime you want. We are able to believe and hope that heaven is never to far away that we can pray to those who have left us."

"Do people talk, like out loud to them?" he asked again.

"Well, not really, you mean like a conversation?"

"Yeah, I think so." Jamie answered, not really knowing what conversation meant.

"Some people talk to hose who have passed as a way of coping with their death."

"Is that what Daddy is doing? Coping?" Jamie asked him mother, awaiting her response.

"What do you mean what 'Daddy is doing'? What is he doing sweetheart? Who is he talking to?" She asked, a little part of her scared that Nathan isn't dealing with Quentin's death in the best manner.

"He was talking to Q yesterday. He was laughing and he scared me because Quentin died, right Momma?" he asked sadly.

"Yes, baby, he is gone."

"Daddy didn't seem sad. He seemed happy to be talking to him. I am sad but I think about how much I miss him, and start to feel sad but then I think about all the people who never got to meet him, and I start to feel sad for them. Q was my best friend." Jamie said.

"Honey, you are so right." She went over to her wonderful son and hugged him tight.

"Momma?" Jamie asked and she held him close.

"What , Sweetheart?"

"Is Daddy going to be okay?" Jamie asked, praying that his father wouldn't leave like Quentin did.

"I think so baby, he just needs to heal. His heart needs to heal. "

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"Man, you are getting weak! What have you been eating? Baby food?" Q said to Nathan.

He laughed, "Shut up, dude."

Nathan continued to dribble down the basketball court to the basket numerous times. Lay-up after lay-up, he drove on.

"I am not weak!" He shouted to Q's voice inside his head,

From behind him , he heard a voice.

"Nate, are you okay?" Asked Luke, worried about his little brother, who had Jamie by his side..

Nathan's mood quickly changed once he saw his son. "Hey," he said quietly, trying to think of an explanation for why he was talking to himself.

Jamie than came over to him and Nathan leaned down and gave him a hug. Jamie them whispered in his ear, "Its okay Daddy, Q will never leave us. But we have to let him get back to the Ravens in heaven. He has his cape, he can visit whenever he wants." Jamie finished hugging his father, who has tears in his eyes.

"Your right son. Everything is going to be okay. I'll be okay."

"Your heart will heal, Momma says so, so it must be true." Jamie said, completely confident in his mother's judgment in any situation.

"Thanks Son. Momma is always right. Always and Forever." Nathan said.

Just then, he saw Q smile, wave, and start to fade from his mind, leaving him with an amazing family and a year of memories filled with Quentin Fields, who is finally able to fly away to greatness, like he was always meant to do.

"If I don't wake up tomorrow,

tell them I'll be alright,

a letter to the world,

saying Jesus holds me tight,

I've been through stormy weather,

Through thick and through thin,

If I don't wake up tomorrow,

Tomorrow's not the end"

-Anon.

For Q.

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