I recently became obsessed with Hollyoaks again after ages anyway I wrote this because the idea wouldn't leave me alone and it's similar to another story I'm writing and find myself fascinated by the Characters back story.
I obviously don't own Holloaks or any the characters.
Criticism welcome.
"Stop playing mum Leela! Just stop it!" Peri said before storming away in typical teenage fashion. It's funny Leela thinks because that is all she has ever tried to do. Stop being Peri's mum but no matter how deep she tries to bury her feeling they never really go away.
Well it's either funny or tragic she doesn't know which yet.
When she found out she was pregnant she had been terrified, she was already four months along and had no idea how to raise a kid she was only a kid herself.
She done the only thing she could think of and booked herself in for a termination.
She tried putting it to the back of her mind and plastered on a fake smile trying to hide how scared she was until the day she skipped school and took two buses to the run down looking clinic. She had stood outside for what seemed like forever not caring about the looks she was getting in her school uniform, like they were one to judge her when they were probably there for the same reason!
It had felt like she was battling a war within herself. The rational part of her brain was telling her she couldn't do this that she couldn't have a baby now she was only 14 years old, she hadn't even finished school yet but she couldn't make herself go through the doors. She couldn't go through with it.
It was stupid she knew that. One mistake and she had ruined her life.
Leela tried to convince herself it didn't have to, she knew her mum and dad would be far from happy, her mum especially would try to make her have an abortion but she knew they wouldn't throw her out and Cameron would stick around he was raised by a single mum and Leela knew how much he resented his dad for leaving them he wouldn't want that for their baby she hoped.
She had waited another couple of days before telling her mum. She had tried when she had finally dragged herself home from the clinic but had been to scared, she knew her dad would be so disappointed in her and she couldn't take that she had always been more of a daddy's girl and seeing him look at her life that would break her. Her mum was disappointed with everything in Leela's life from her choice of friends to her grades.
"What." She whispered turning around forgetting the plate she had been cleaning.
"I'm pregnant." Leela had said trying to sound stronger that she felt.
"No you're not," Sam denied. "You have to be having sex to get pregnant and your only 14! Your are not that stupid!"
"I'm pregnant." Leela repeated this time her voice breaking slightly.
Her mum began to cry but Leela stayed where she was not daring to go and comfort her like she wanted. "It's that boy isn't it? The one you keep skipping school for and staying out till all hours."
Leela still said nothing knowing how much both of her parents hated Cameron but especially her mum seeing as she had arrested him before.
"How could you let this happen!" Sam shouted through her tears. "I thought we raised you better than this."
"You did." Leela protested feeling tears sting her eyes. "It just happened."
"It doesn't just happen Leela! You have ruined your life for what? 5 minutes of happiness? Did you even think about your future!"
"I didn't plan it, it was a mistake."
"When Tegan poured orange juice in her cereal this morning that was a mistake! When your dad gets the wrong loaf of bread that's a mistake this," She said gesturing at Leela. "This is so much more than a mistake."
"I'm sorry." Leela cried.
Sam started laughing. "Your sorry. Well that makes everything OK then doesn't it."
"Please." Leela begged unsure what she wanted from her mother.
"Please? Please what?Don't be upset? Disappointed? Angry?" Sam shouted. "That boy has well and truly ruined your life now hasn't he."
"I haven't told him yet."
"Are you keeping it."
Leela hesitated. "Yes."
"Why? Think he's gonna stick around once he finds out, Think your going to be a perfect little family do you? Well tell me this who's going to look after it when you're at school? Or when you want to go out but have to stay home with a crying baby? Who's going to pay for all its things? Or is Cameron just going to shop lift everything you need!"
"I haven't thought of everything yet but we'll make it work, we have to."
"Leela, think about this." Sam implored Leela coming close enough to grab her but the shoulder. "Really think about this. Is it what you want, Really? To throw away your life on one silly mistake. You don't have to go through with this."
"I made an appointment at a clinic."
"You're making the right choice sweetheart." Sam said hugging her. " I know it doesn't seem like it now but you'll see once this is all over that it was for the best."
Leela broke free from her mothers grasp. "Your not listening to me! I made an appointment but I couldn't go through with it, I can't kill my baby."
"For god sakes Leela it's not even a baby yet it's a cluster of cells."
"I'm keeping my baby."
Her mother had sent her up to her room not long after that claiming she couldn't bare to look at her. Leela sat on her bed clutching a stuffed animal she had had from childhood and couldn't bare to throw away while she waited for her dad to come home and his inevitable disappointment. She didn't need to wait long before she heard the front door open and her parent's muffled voices carrying up the stairs. She waited and waited for her dad to come into her room but the longer it took the more anxious she got. He came into her room long after her mother was asleep and held her as she cried whispering reassurances as he did.
Two weeks later Cameron got arrested for Armed robbery and Leela realised once again that she was in this on her own. Leela didn't know what was going through his head she hadn't been allowed to leave the house since her parents found out not even for school. Her mother broke the news to her using it as another excuse to try to force her to have an abortion but her dad sat her down and told her no matter what she chooses he'd support her.
She was nearly six months along before anyone really took notice that she wasn't just putting on weight that there was a small but distinctive baby bump formed. Tegan who at 9 years old was oblivious to the tension in the house liked to point out that all she done now was lay around the house in her PJ's and ate but she held her head high even when she could hear the comments that she would pretend didn't bother her from her so-called friends at school because no matter what they thought it wasn't half as bad as what her mother thought of her now.
"Give it back." Tegan shouted.
"Erm why don't you make me." Leela taunted holding the cake she had nicked off Tegan in the air as her younger sister tried to get it from her.
"Like you need any more sweets anyway." Tegan spat out quickly giving up her fight for the cake.
"You're hardly Kate Moss are you."
"Mum! tell Leela." Tegan screeched.
"She started it."
"No you did!"
"You called me fat!"
"No," Tegan said smirking. "I implied you where fat."
"Just leave it Leela." Sam sighed.
"I didn't even do anything she was the one who started it." Leela said pointing at Tegan who just kept smirking.
"Just go to your room please."
"Argh." Leela fumed storming off.
Tegan got sent away to stay with their grandparents as Leela's due date grew closer, her mother explaining that it was for the best considering she didn't know yet if she was keeping the baby or not and it wasn't right burdening Tegan with that sort of stuff. Leela knew there was no way she was giving up her daughter but her mother couldn't accept that.
Peri Lomax was born on Monday the 28th of February 2000 after nearly 12 hours of labour. She wishes she could say it was the hardest thing she had ever had to do but labour was easy compared to the realisation that her daughter deserved better than her. Peri was two weeks old when Leela stopped being her mother and started being her sister.
"I love her but she deserves better than me." Leela tearfully admitted to her parents never taking her eyes off Peri who lay sleeping in her arms.
"What do you mean sweetheart?" Her dad asked.
"I mean she deserves to have a family that can give her everything I can't, she deserves a mum who has finished high school."
"You want to give her away."
"No." Leela said hugging her daughter close like it would be the last time before getting to her feet. "I want you to raise Peri."
"What?" Her mother muttered.
"Darling I don't think you've thought this through."
"I have, it's all I've thought about since the minute she was born. I love her and that is never going to change but I cannot give her everything she needs." Leela said handing the baby to her mother.
"You're just tired. A good nights sleep will do you the world of good." Her dad tried to persuade her but Leela had made her decision and was sticking to it.
"I want my baby to have a stable family with a mum and dad, I've made up my mind and I'm not going to change it."
"Leela this isn't just for a couple of months until you feel like playing mum again if we do this it's forever." Her mum warned.
"Now hang on-" Her dad tried to protest.
"I know." She smiled sadly taking one last look at her baby. "I phoned Aunty Jane and she said I could go stay with her for a little while."
"You don't have to leave. We can work this out." Her dad tried.
Leela could feel the tears that where stinging her eyes start rolling down her cheeks. "If I stay it's going to be so much harder to let her go, It will be best for everyone if I go away for a couple of weeks."
It was hard when Peri's first word had been mum and it wasn't directed at her.
It was hard when Peri wanted her dad and not her when she was Ill.
It was hard watching how she seemed to light up just at the sight of her parents but every time it hurt it just reminded her that she had done the right thing for her daughter even if other people wouldn't understand.
As each year went by it got easier to pretend that Peri was her sister. She could go days without thinking about it sometimes weeks. It helped that only her mum and dad knew her secret but neither brought it up since she had moved back home.
"I know I wasn't behind you having the baby but you done the right thing." Her mother whispered in her ear hugging her tight.
Leela watched as Peri lay on her mat happily kicking her feet as Tegan made faces at her.
"I know."
She never doubted her decision until they found out Peri had a brain tumour. Suddenly she found herself wanting to tell Peri, wanting to be her mum, wanting to take all the pain and sadness away but knew she couldn't because even though it would make her better it would make Peri hurt. She tried to tell herself that she made her decision 14 years ago and she couldn't change her mind now. The last straw had been finding out her dad was gay...actually not that he was gay. No Ste was gay and she had no problem with it. Finding out her dad was having an affair tore her world apart.
It made her question the people who she had trusted her daughter with. If they where keeping that kind of secret from her what else where they hiding.
No. Peri was right it was time to stop playing mum. Leela was going to get her daughter back no matter what anyone else said.
