A/N: Hi, I'm Chaerin! I've had this idea in my head ever since I went to Disney World for the second time, and I just had to write it. The story is TYL Varia so Fran could be here.
Warning: If you are a small, innocent child who wishes to go to Disney World and don't want your dreams crushed, turn away now. If you are not, then other warnings include: Foul language, many crack moments and ideas,and the craziness of the Varia.
Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn, the Varia, Disney World, Disney, or anything here that I clearly can't afford. All rights go to their respective owners.
Oh! And na-chanzz on DeviantArt gave me permission to use her wonderful drawing for the cover. Visit her gallery, it's well worth it! Her PenName on this site is Kernel_Pult.
Chapter One: Takeoff
"Everyone! Everyone!" Lussuria called and smiled as he held up a brochure in the air: A Disney World brochure, to be precise. The ecstatic man was trying hard to hold in his excitement.
"Eh?" Bel looked up from his plate of pancakes. "Lussuria, what's that?"
"What else? It's a travel brochure! We're going to be leaving next week!" Lussuria squealed happily. He waved the brochure in the air excitedly and looked at the rest of the squad. All of them looked clueless, or in some cases, careless. Levi stood up and gasped.
"We? Huh? Next week? And you decided to tell us just now?" Levi asked as Lussuria handed him the colorful and detailed handout. Levi thumbed through the brochure and skimmed through the details provided.
"Yes; exactly seven days! I had to order the plane tickets, they were selling out quickly," Lussuria explained, "But even the boss approved!" This time, Squalo was the one who plucked himself upwards.
"What? You approved?" Squalo gawked out of shock. Xanxus shot a dark glare at him and threw his glass chalice on the white-haired commander's head. "VOI! What the fuck was that for? It was just a fucking question!"
"Shut up, trash. The activity has been quiet lately, and I heard there is good quality meat in this so called "Place where dreams come true," so we're going, whether you like it, or not." Before Squalo could argue, Levi beat him into adding his own input.
"Don't you think it's a bit too childish?" Levi questioned and sighed as he flipped the brochure to the back before continuing. "I mean…all there are in here are pictures of little children holding balloons and wearing Mickey Mouse hats."
"Of course you would notice that, you sick pedophile." Fran said nonchalantly, taking a sip of his orange juice.
"Oi! Fran! You better watch your little mouth!" Levi growled.
"What should I be scared about? You sick pedophile…" Fran repeated.
"Don't call me that again!"
"Shut up!" Squalo yelled at Levi, and Levi, as expected of Squalo, instantly shut up when he saw Xanxus glare at him.
"Ushishishi~I want to go to the roller coasters. Each and every single one of them!" Bel stated and grinned.
"Oh, but sempai, you do know that they have lines, right?"
"Lines? Oh, those things where peasants take turns? I'm a prince; they will have to let me go first. Ushishishi! After all, it's only fair."
"I'm just scared of what you are going to do to those poor, innocent people when they tremble in fear because of you…fake prince. Like hell anyone is going to believe you. They'd rather believe the princes in those costumes with girly makeup on. They would be the princes that have rights to skip, you know."
"Those wannabe princes are all poor peasants, every single one of them. And their castles aren't real. Plus, they're all weak," Bel snickered. "But if that's how things will be…you know, some children are just so easy to fool."
Fran let out a sigh as Bel continued to daydream about his plan.
"So, pack your bags, everyone! We're going to go! We will spend exactly seven days there! One day for each park, and the last for resting or buying souvenirs! We're booked for a very nice hotel, but we have to share three rooms!" Lussuria said enthusiastically as he skipped up the stairs to his own room, humming a tune cheerfully. The "mother" of the Varia could be heard trying to decide his vacation wardrobe, as he had left the door open, and was talking to himself as well, evaluating his choices.
"Hm? Should I bring this? Or this? No~ this is for the autumn season! Oh! Why this is perfect for someone like me!"
Bel gave Fran his signature grin as he pulled the teal-haired member up the stairs and into his own room. When they arrived, he settled Fran on the floor rather carelessly and headed to his closet.
"Bel-sempai? Why am I in your room?" Fran questioned.
"Why? To tell the prince which pieces of clothing he should bring, of course! It's too hot to bring our uniforms after all, Ushishishi~! How is this one?" Bel grinned as he held up a striped red shirt with some white clawed designs.
"Ugly." Fran said without looking.
"Alright, what about this one?" Bel held up a pair of black skinny jeans.
"Plain out hideous."
Bel realized that Fran wasn't looking at his clothes, and his anger was clear from his tone of voice as he asked, "Are you asking to get killed, frog?" The Varia prince snickered as he took a spare knife from his dart board and threw it onto Fran's hat. It hit perfectly and cleanly, but Fran didn't complain. He looked up from the floor and stared straight into Bel's hair covered eyes. Fran stood up slowly, took the knife from his hat, and tossed it sloppily onto the floor.
"I know what would look absolutely perfect on you, though," Fran pointed his finger upward. "Let me go get it."
"You better come back in ten seconds!" Bel called, and Fran came back in exactly six, holding a pink boa and tutu.
"This," Fran held up the articles. Bel's forehead popped a vein and Fran held it up higher. "Isn't it fitting, or what? Your tiara would surely match with this." Bel kicked him, but Fran only made so much as an "oomph" noise.
"…Where the hell did you get this from?" Bel asked and then cackled, "Lussuria's cosplay closet? And it's NOT a tiara, stupid frog!" and with that, Fran earned another knife to his hat. Fran crouched down on Bel's floor and nodded.
"Actually, it was, in fact, from Lussuria-san." Fran pointed out and shrugged.
"Alright, get out of my room." Bel barked.
"My pleasure, stupid sempai. You forced me to come here against my will, and I did. I did exactly what you asked; I evaluated your hideous fashion sense. I brought you something very fitting on you, but you did not appreciate it."
"…Do you really think every piece of clothing I own looks bad?" Bel grinned out of annoyance.
"No; I think that every piece of clothing you own just looks even worse on you." Fran replied, and with that, he received a kick straight out of Bel's room and headfirst onto the cold wooden floor.
Levi had finished packing earlier than the rest of the squad due to his zealous nature, so he went downstairs to see if the boss he had an unhealthy obsession for had finished packing, or if he needed assistance. Another reason he finished so quickly other than finding pretty much every event in his life as a timed priority was because he really did not have much of a variety in clothes. It wasn't entirely his fault, but he thought of the task of choosing different outfits for different days and occasions for all three-hundred-and-sixty-five or six days a year would add on time to his "busy" schedule.
"Boss?" He called at Xanxus's door, but he heard a glass shatter and scampered away in fear of what was happening.
"Xanxus-sama! What kind of clothes do you even want?" One of the lower cooks cried on the Varia Boss's floor.
"I told you, trash, my white polo, all of my black pants, red shirt, black short sleeved shirt, my button down, and my white V-neck muscle shirt in case it is really hot. Get off of my floor. Clean it later, too."
"You said it all too fast!" The poor underpaid chef cowered.
"You didn't listen well…just like how you prepare my meat…" Xanxus replied coldly and bluntly. The door was opened violently, earning a loud "thud" from the wall, and the cook took his chance and ran away quickly. Squalo marched in angrily and pointed at Xanxus accusingly.
"VOI! Xanxus! We're going to lose all of our employees because of you! What the fuck happened this time?" Squalo yelled loud enough for the castle to rumble.
"Stupid useless trash can't listen to the list of clothing I gave him." Xanxus yawned. With that, Squalo's eyes widened to his annoyance, and he started flailing his arms around, accidentally cutting some of the mattress material and scratching the dark cherry wood floor with his mechanized sword.
"VOI! THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY! If you keep scaring them off, then you will have no meat! IT'S YOUR CHOICE!" Squalo continued, but Xanxus shrugged.
"There are more men in this world we can hire."
"VOI!"
Exactly one week later, Lussuria called for the whole Varia to assemble.
"Everyone!" Lussuria waved the printed airline tickets in the air. "Here are your tickets! I already checked us in! We have to go, now! It's on the other side of the world! Bye bye, Italy!"
The six men all placed their bags in their trunk and entered into the rental car Lussuria borrowed from the airport to get to the airport. If they didn't have their baggage with them, they would have surely just traveled to the airport by foot, but of course they couldn't.
"Everyone ready?" Squalo asked, and every member nodded in response. Squalo was about to put his seatbelt on, but Xanxus had already started speeding. Luckily, Squalo's head did not crash into the window, but being thrown almost to it was just as bad. He quickly placed his seatbelt over his body and started to scold his boss.
"I WAS NOT READY! WHY DO YOU DO THIS EVERY FUCKING TIME? I SWEAR, IT'S ON PURPOSE, ISN'T IT?" he yelled. Luckily, everyone in the Varia was so used to this, that they always brought earplugs with them if they had to use a car.
"It's not on purpose, trash. It's because you place your seatbelt on too damn slow." Xanxus growled.
"Don't give me that crap! You don't even have yours ON!" Squalo shouted.
"Nobody lives anywhere near headquarters anyway. We can get through."
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! THE LAW IS NOT THE POINT! KILLING ME IS!"
"Shut up."
When the group arrived at the airport, they received weird looks from everyone. Maybe it was because they all decided to wear their uniforms to keep warm in the airplane, Levi's hair, Lussuria's hair, Fran's hat, Bel's crown, Squalo's long silver hair and him being a male, or because Xanxus was wearing too much metal.
But then again, it was probably all of it.
They all walked through the baggage check line casually; aware of the strange looks they were receiving.
When the group entered the security check, everyone in their group had difficulty. They had to remove their jackets and place their shoes inside of the grey boxes. To make things worse, they had so many miscellaneous things inside of their pockets that it took a while emptying them out, and every single member was being selfish and decided to hoard their own grey bucket so that nobody in their group would steal their belongings.
"Excuse me, sir, but please remove all metal and place them into the buckets…and your shoes." An employee said to Xanxus. Xanxus grumbled and did as told. He walked through the gate, and the alarm beeped again.
"Any more metal?" she asked, tired. Xanxus groaned as he looked around his body. He took off his ring and put it into the bucket. He tried one more time, and the alarm beeped again.
"VOI! HOW MUCH METAL DID YOU FUCKING BRING? I SAID ONLY TO BRING THE BOXES AND RINGS!"
"Tch, shut up." Xanxus shot Squalo a glare and realized there was still a chain on his pants, and he took that off as well. When he passed through the metal detector the third time, he was clear.
"Excuse me, miss, but you need to remove that hat." Another employee said to Fran, who was slightly irritated by being called a girl. Much to Bel's dismay, he was about to take it off until Bel held his arms from doing so.
"Sorry, but my froggy can't do." He glared.
"Why not?" the employee asked, and then Bel whispered something in his ear. "Oh, I see. You may keep it on. I apologize."
Levi had to squat through the metal detector, much to his annoyance. Lussuria had to argue with the employees to keep his sunglasses on, but they made him take them off. When he did, his comrades all "oh'd" at the sight. He touched every single bucket to feel for his glasses, and when he did so, he happily squealed.
"I can see!"
Xanxus took all the metal he gave up and put it back in the places where they should've been. His belt through the belt loop, his ring on his finger, the chain on his pants, other random scraps of metal he kept, and his shoes back on.
"Sempai, what did you tell the guy?" Fran asked. Bel leaned in closer and whispered in his ear softly.
"I told him…that you were completely bald."
"…You suck, fake prince."
"Ushishishi~ At least you have your hat on. Wear it through the day you die!"
"I know, I know. You tell me that every time I attempt to take it off…"
"Stupid people can't appreciate fine swordsmanship." Squalo glared at the unaware employee behind him and glared. He was told to take his sword off, but the employee stopped trying after he realized Squalo simply couldn't take it off, despite Squalo repeating that fact at least twenty times.
"Well, now we just have to board the plane!" Lussuria smiled.
"Terminal A9 will be leaving in two minutes. Last call for: Fran, Belphegor, Xanxus, Leviathan, and Lussuria no-last-name-given, and Superbi Squalo." A woman's voice echoed throughout the airport. The Varia all gasped except for Xanxus, who stayed calm, and of course, Fran.
"We have to hurry!" Lussuria squealed, and that's exactly what they did. With their luggage already checked in, they ran as fast as they could to their terminal, and made it just in time.
"We're here! Ushishishi!" Bel cheered and then laughed as they all gave their tickets to the person entering and ran to the airplane. They quickly put on their seatbelts and were seated accordingly: Bel and Fran in one row, Levi and Lussuria in another, and finally, Squalo and Xanxus behind them all. Fran didn't want Bel sitting next to him, but the prince abided to his own decisions, as usual. Lussuria didn't want Levi sitting alone, so he kindly took the seat next to him. Squalo was worried about what Xanxus would do if he had to sit next to a normal person, so he sat next to his boss. The airplane took off, and they were in the air.
"I'm hungry…" Bel sighed, "Even with us in first class, I think that airline food is totally gross."
"Deal with it. Oh, look, here they come," Fran said, and a lady gave Bel a tray of an ugly low quality hamburger patty and pasta on the side.
"What the hell is this?" Bel asked, and then laughed nervously.
"Hamburger patty with alfredo pasta," The lady replied with a forced smile. "Enjoy."
"Who the hell can enjoy this crap?" Bel glared. He turned and saw Fran eating it with no problem. He looked behind him and realized Levi and Lussuria were eating it against their will. Xanxus refused to eat low-quality meat, and was only willing to drink the champagne infront of him, thanks to Squalo's credit card, of course, and Squalo was just glaring at his meal. They had one stop until they were supposed to be in Florida, and that was New York.
"This is going to be a long flight." Bel decided as he pushed his food away.
A/N: So how was it? (: I've decided that I will make this story's chapters progress by each day that the Varia are on vacation.
I'll try to update as much as I can; after all, it is summer!
