Numb. I didn't feel anything. When they told me, I shut down. Completely. I sort of remember being carried to Anica's car by Adam, and I sort of remember Anica speaking to me in low tones, but the rest is a blur. I do, however, remember waking up after spending the night with Ani.
"Angel? Are you awake?" Anica asked me the next morning. I was snuggled deep in the covers of her huge, soft, expensive bed, thinking that I was in heaven when all of a sudden, all of yesterday's memories came crashing down on me. I began to sob, and my eyes weren't open yet, but I could feel the tears slip through the cracks of my eyes. Suddenly I felt her arms around me and I heard her whispering softly in my ear. "What's going to happen to me?" I croaked out. "I mean
I have no family! No aunts, no uncles, no father.."
"Listen to me," Anica whispered gently. "You have me. You'll always have me. I'm your family now."
"What did I do to deserve you? " I asked softly. "I would love to stay with you forever, but we have to think logically."
She sighed and pushed herself to an upright position "Always the logical Angel. They're not going to do anything for awhile. I mean, there's...you know..stuff to go through and...."She trailed off, wanting to change the subject. "And so, you'll stay here with me and my parents."
"Have you even asked your parents?" I asked.
"Minor details. You get some sleep. I think we may have a long day ahead of us."
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I think I slept for four hours after that. It was late afternoon when I finally pulled myself out of bed. I slowly trudged down the stairs to the kitchen where Anica and her family were situated. From the look on her face I could tell that the news she was about to give me wasn't good. As I had expected, the Harpers didn't think it possible for me to stay with them. But this didn't surprise me. Anica and I were best friends but it didn't change my background, and how important her parents were in our town. They told me that they would let me stay as long as it took to get everything straightened out. I wanted to say thank you, but a knot the size of Texas formed in my throat. I still didn't know what was going to happen to me, I still didn't--
I was thrown from my thoughts by the doorbell ringing. A knot of apprehension formed in my stomach. What if it was them, coming to take me away, put me in some institution? Anica walked over to the door and slowly opened it. Standing there was Adam Kagan. My mind went blank. I didn't know what to do. So I just stood there. "May I come in?" He asked Anica softly. "Sure, whatever." She replied.
"Adam! so good to see you! how are your---" Ani's mother's words were cut off by Adam's brisk stride towards me. He quickly pulled me in a tight hug. "I am so sorry." He whispered in my hair. "Are you okay?"
"As fine as can be expected, when your mother commits suicide." I said pulling away from him. I was aware of Anica's parents looking at both of us in astonishment, but I don't think either one of us cared. I saw the hurt in his eyes at my remark and quickly amended my voice." I'm sorry. I'm just.."
"No, no it's okay." He replied, cutting me off. "It was a stupid question."
"No it wasn't. It was a thoughtful, concerned question. Thank you for asking."
We just kind of stood there uncomfortably until I suggested that we move to another room, leaving Anica's parents still in astonished silence. I told Adam everything and about my entire situation and he looked like he was taking it harder than I was, which made me wonder why I wasn't taking it as hard as I thought I should be. "Where will you go now?" he asked after I had finished.
"Well, I don't know...they may put me away somewhere or something." I said quietly.
"No." Adam replied fiercely.
"Excuse me?"
"No, I said. " Adam replied. "I've finally got you. I'm not going to give you up that easily." He then proceeded to give me one of the warmest, softest hugs I had had in awhle. "Silly boy." I whispered lovingly aginst his shirt. " You don't even know me."
"I've known you for forever." He whispered. We just kinda stood there for awhile. It was really nice, really reassuring. I began to think that there was hope for me. Suddenly Adam's pager went off. "Oh, it's my parents.' He replied sadly, looking at it reluctantly. "I gotta go, but I'll come back, okay?"
"That's fine." I replied softly. He smiled one of his incredible smiles and bent down to place a gentle kiss on my lips. I watched him walk out the door and felt one of those pangs you read about in stories.
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I left Anica's house reluctantly to follow the call of my wonderful parents. I didn't want to leave her. I didn't ever want to. So of course when I arrived at my home I was a little perturbed. It better had been an emergency. My parents were sittiing in the dining room when I came home. "Hello, Adam sweetie." My mother replied when she saw me.
"Hello, mother" I replied less than cordially. "Is there something you wanted?"
"Adam," my father replied, rising from his seat. "We're worried about you."
"Why?"
"Well, we've been hearing from your friends that you've been hanging out with some..unsavory characters."
"You shouldn't listen to everything you hear."
"Don't take that tone with me young man." My father replied sternly. " Are you going to explain this?"
"Explain what?" I exclaimed. "No, dad, I haven't been hanging out with "unsavory" characters as you like to call them. I've been with a girl right now. A girl who just happens to be going through a lot right now, a girl who I happen to care a lot about."
"I should have known." My father replied, a sly grin on his face. "Adam you dog, you."
I rolled my eyes so far I thought they'd get stuck. "Dad, it's so not like that. I really care about this girl. She's...she's so different from any girl I've ever been with. I think I'm.." I didn't want to say it. Not to my father. Not with that ravenous look in his eye. He wouldn't understand.
"So...what's her name?" he asked.
"Angel. Angel Bannen." I replied. I had never seen my father turn so white so fast. "Was she that girl whose mother committed suicide the other day?" He asked finally.
"Um, yeah..." I replied slowly. "Why? did you know her mom or something?"
"Adam, I forbid you to come in contact with that girl ever again." My father commanded in his strongest voice.
"What the hell? what are you talking about? You can't stop me from seeing someone! Times have changed, and I'm getting sick of this can't associate with someone outside of your social status, or someone who doesn't have a father, or whatever the reason may be!" I yelled. My father looked at my mother who was clutching the pearls at her throat nervously.
"Just tell him." She whispered softly. Now I was confused. Who were these people who had replaced my parents? My mother, who was always calm, cool, and collected now just looked...fidgety. My father kept staring at me like he was trying to make me understand something. "That girl," He said quietly. "Already has a father." I stared at him like he was insane. Then it hit me. "No!" I yelled. "No, no no no no no! Angel is not my sister! You lying bastard! You lying, disgusting bastard!" After that, I ran from the house, not seeing anything, not caring about anything except seeing Angel.
