Hi loves!
I haven't been on here in a year or so… wow. I am so sorry! I've just been really busy with school and dance and personal issues.
So I'm putting this story on trigger warning, because it deals with self harm/depression. I myself have some personal experience with this, and I want you guys to know that I'm here if you want to talk. Please message me. You are not alone… *giggles* But in all seriousness I love you guys. And I care more than anything. :3
Please review! ;)
***TRIGGER WARNING***
"Beneath a moonless sky…"
Neither of them knew what to say next. There was nothing to be said anyway, and even if one of them were to say anything the words would be swallowed by the emptiness and loneliness of the drafty room. Erik continued to hold Christine in a tight embrace, mentally deciding whether or not he should let her go. He knew too well what had happened the last time he let her go…
They were both overcome with emotion, regret, anger, and affection. Nothing either one of them could say would undo the events that occurred in the past ten years. Christine had secrets that she knew Erik would murder her had she told him them, and yet, she wanted to tell him everything. She wanted to collapse in his arm and release everything to him: Gustave, Raoul's abuse, her own struggles…
But she knew that wouldn't be right.
Christine broke from Erik's embrace and sat herself down on the piano bench. She sighed loudly, letting her head hang, her arms falling to the ground.
Erik rested his arms on the piano, almost too close to her, but not close enough. His head rested in his palms and his eyes squinted shut. He couldn't cry anymore, he had ran out of tears. He was thankful for this at this moment; he wouldn't want Christine to see him cry again.
He lifted his head and stared at the ground where Christine's arms were still dangling, noticing something that he passed off for a few seconds.
He looked down once more, just to be sure that what he saw weren't what he thought they were.
They were what he thought they were.
"Christine…" He whispered, eyeing her arms again.
"Yes?" She looked up, her eyes red and her cheeks tear stained.
"I-I…" He stuttered, sitting down beside her.
"Erik, what is it?" She asked harshly, looking away from him and crossing her arms over her waist. My sleeves must've slipped up, she thought, mentally cursing herself. He was the last person she wanted finding out about this.
"Christine, give me your arms."
Her eyes widened, looking right into his worried ones. She knew what he was talking about. Her stomach dropped and she instantly felt ill.
"W-Why…" She innocently lied.
"Now, Christine." He ordered loudly, making her flinch a little.
She obeyed, hanging her head and holding her arms outstretched to him. He rolled up both of her sleeves and ran his long fingers over the scars: the new, the old, and the in between.
"Christine…" His voice was stern, it wasn't the caring voice that she had expected.
She looked up, meeting his angry eyes with her own.
"Why on Earth would you do this to yourself?!" He growled, standing up and running his fingers through his hair.
"Erik I-"
"Christine, do you even understand what you've done? There's so many… They're so deep… Do you know how long it will take for them to heal? God… Why didn't you talk to somebody?" He ranted, yelling and pacing.
"Well, I didn't exactly have anyone to turn to, including you."
He looked up and glanced at her with pain in his eyes, realizing that it was his fault.
"Christine, I'm so sorry…" He barely whispered, sitting beside her again.
She sobbed loudly, pulling into his chest. He held her tight and whispered sweet things into her ear, not that she was listening.
"I-It's just Raoul and Gustave and you and my father and-"
"Christine, shh, it's going to be okay. I promise…"
Eventually her sobs died down and she loosened her grip on the phantom. He carried her bridal style to the chair and sat her down, sitting himself across from her on the footstool.
"Christine…" He sighed, taking her hands in his. "I want you to explain. From the very beginning. Everything."
"Alright," She paused for a while, creating what she would say.
"I guess it started when I was young, after my father passed. I never fully adapted to the feeling of being alone, it left me depressed and hopeless. When you came into my life, I went through even more stress. I loved you, but I was afraid of you, and having Raoul in the mix didn't help. I was confused and frightened… That's when I had my first suicidal thoughts. I knew that everyone would be better off without me, I hated myself, I just didn't see the point of living anymore. I always considered self harming, but I didn't do it then, because the scars would show in my ballerina outfit. I starved myself when I was younger, and I still do sometimes today. Whenever I left you and chose Raoul, I only did so because I thought it would make me happy. But I was wrong. He's abused me, come home drunk, on the nights where he actually did come home He hates Gustave, and I'm beginning to think that he hates me. He cheats on me, beats me, screams at me… I blamed myself for your death… I hated myself for leaving you… That's when I started. About five years ago, I think. I only keep myself alive for Gustave. Nobody's ever noticed, except for Raoul, and he scolded me for it. I usually only cut my legs and hips, but my wrists seem to be so satisfying. I'm a mess Erik, I'm so sorry…" She started crying again.
"Shh… Christine… Don't apologize to me. You did nothing wrong. You're absolutely gorgeous, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I'm so sorry for leaving you, I regret that every single day of my life. We'll take care of Raoul… I promise. I'm close with the police here… Perhaps they could do something about him. Christine I cannot let him do that to you. You're the only person in this world that I love and care about. I can't stand to see you in this pain… I can't stand to here that you've been suicidal. I know how it is Christine… I've been down that path as well. It's going to get better. I love you, and I love Gustave, and no matter what happens, I will be here for you. Okay?"
She looked up and starred deep into his eyes once more. They were so caring, so sincere. He pushed her sleeves back again, lowering his lips to each and every scar that littered her arms. He pressed a kiss to each one slowly, reminding her of how much she meant to him.
He finished and rolled her sleeves down, squeezing her hands in his.
"Christine, I love you. No matter what."
"I love you too." She smiled brightly.
He grabbed her neck and kissed her lips softly, slowly. He rested his other arm around her waist as she snaked his arms around his neck.
"You have no idea how much I've missed you, Erik." She whispered, her mouth inches away from his.
"Oh, Christine…"
She kissed him again, but this time with passion. She knew she finally hand someone who truly cared for her, and she couldn't be happier.
"Never again, Christine. Promise me." He stated boldly, his smile fading.
"I promise."
"Thank you so much, Christine."
"No Erik, thank you."
Thank you so much for reading!
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:3
~Ness
