But when I think of you all the time... I Cry

Author: MishaV946

Rating: 13...Just to be safe.

Summary: Pretty self explanatory with regards to the title and story content. This is an M/A Fanfic series, with the mention of the main characters from Dark Angel.

Spoilers: Give or take 1 and half years after FN.

Disclaimer: Yes I own Dark Angel. Yes I own all the characters (especially Alec McDowell), motion pictures and photography along with the production set named: "IN MY BIG FAT DREAMS!" ^_o

Feedback: This is my first fan fic that I'm FINALLY POSTING up. My Hard-drive keeps retaliating against my new and 100th story that I keep adding to it…so bottoms up-here's the first one. I aint going to hold your hand and coax you to review; I leave that decision to you. I just want to get this out of my head and hard-drive. If you do decide to review, you can go easy-not go easy-whatever. However; Constructive criticism feeds my enthusiasm.

Status: WIP

A/N 3: This a series based on selective songs that personally mean something to me. If you are not familiar with some of them, I have typed the artist names along with the title-so you can web them. Hope you enjoy reading this series as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Laters

Title: But when I think of you all the time, I cry… (Watershed_ In the meantime)

She was a beautiful girl, no doubt about it. Long glossy hair, dark eyes, fairest of porcelain skin and a body that would make any straight or gay guy fall to his knees. He had noticed that from the first day he had met her. It has been almost two years that they have known one another. She turns around and throws a knowing smirk at him-he'd been staring at her, again. And if he knows himself, he smirks back apologetically. He watches how she pulls her jacket over her shoulder with ease and tips the bar tender just before she makes her way over to him. A huge grin on her beautiful face makes him want to weep. And without warning he grabs hold of her right arm and pulls her onto him, crushing his lips onto hers. He kisses her hard and frowns mentally at the thought that just occurred to him. She pulls away from his warm body noticing how rigid he went all of a sudden.

"Alec?" she sounds her concern.

"Yeah?" he smiles.

"Idiot" she swats his right shoulder lightly and laughs.

Her laugh sends a vibration through him. The chill runs down his spine and he feels like he can no longer stand.

"Let's get out of here." He suggests to her.

Without a word she grabs his hand and exits Crash. They were so oblivious to everything else around them that they fail to see the sad look on the bar tender's face or the sigh that escapes from OC's lips as they leave.

They ran to the beach front, removing their shoes in their path. She gurgles with laughter that makes him halt in his tracks. He watches her in a new perspective. Her hair ripples through the wind with a touch of a luminous silver glow-compliments to the rather bright full moon. This should be perfect but his thoughts don't coincide. He knows that she tries to make him feel better each time. And he does, he keeps Telling her that he's alright, always alright. She stops swaying in the moonlight rather sways her hips provocatively towards him, laces her fingers into his. She looks into his hazel green eyes and kisses him fully. Their first true kiss, he mentally takes note. It's always just been the lips nothing more and he wishes it stayed that way…just the lips. Too late he mentally berates himself.

They walk to her apartment. Standing outside her door she stalls, fumbling with her keys. She turns to him and smiles sweetly.

"Goodnight Alec"

He says nothing instead, he grabs her by her arms and kisses her fully… he knows where this is leading and his heart urges him to stop, but his head doesn't listen. So he gives her what she's wants and two hours later he wakes up in her bed. He looks at her; she looks so peaceful and still beautiful. The tension that she carries with her no longer evident on her forehead, it makes him want to cry even more. But her sweet scent causes his tear to fall, she smells like... He leaves without waking her up. He doesn't give her a second glance;the guilt is just too overwhelming.

He walks from street to street and knows no one will disturb him. Its 2:30am and he knows Crash would still be open. He heads there immediately.

Without a word he sits himself onto the bar stool.

The bar tender sighs deeply and hands him Scotch. Knowing that that's all Alec would order, it's all he's ordered for the past two years since her…

"Thanks Sid." Alec stops the bar tender's thoughts.

"No prob Alec." Sid carefully eyed the man in front of him, "so seriously Alec, what are you doing?"

A defensive glare shot Sid's way.

Stern look with a cocked eyebrow stating his ground was made that NO fear would turn him away.

Alec knew there was no getting away from this one, especially this one. He swirled the glass of Scotch in his right hand, biting on his lower lip while in deep thought.

"Alec!" the angry voice called out to him.

Sighing inwardly in defeat, he turned to the owner's voice.

"OC...How do I owe the pleasure..."

"Save it hot boy. I saw what you did. What the hell are you doing? Go back to her."

"I can't." He simply replied, exasperated.

"She loves you. You love her..."

"I thought I did." He mumbled quietly enough for OC's hearing range.

OC's look sent a shiver down his spine, and knew there was definitely a slap coming. But was surprise that none came.

"She is a friend of mine, a good friend and you're hurting her. I know you're hurting Alec but you got to move on. We all have lost someone we loved but we have to move on. Or else it will eat us."

Alec turned away from both Sid and OC, taking his glass he walked towards the back of Crash were they use to sit together. He hasn't sat there in two years.

Leaning back he thought of the recent events. He and the girl in his life shared some things in common, but it wasn't enough. Not for him anyway. There were no moments of madness or that spark that he wishes he could once again see...when he spends time with her he doesn't feel alone but his heart always is...his thoughts are never on her but of the one he lost...her death was unfair and unjust and the thought alone makes him tear...

Because, When Alec thinks of Max all the time, he cries...

The lean figure sat on the table and watched the man that was indeed adored at, cook a meal. And smirked as the man tossed the vegetables in the frying pan with a bit of a style followed by a roaring laughter as he miss calculated and spilled some vegetables on the floor.

"Crap"eyeing the culprit vegetables on the floor.

Laughing harder as he cussed, she hopped of the table and approached him, "don't worry I'll clean it up."

As she strolled towards him again, a flashback of a pair of green hazel laughing eyes appeared before her. Causing her to stop, the man notices this and approaches her carefully.

"Sweetheart?" he asks nervously.

"..." she whispers inaudibly.

"Huh?" the man looks at her in confusion and does the only thing that he could think of; he kisses her hard on the lips.

"Brian? What do you think you are doing?" she laughed out.

"Just kissing you..." he replies making a mental note to tell him that it has happened yet again, "I love you."

"Of cause you do..." she smirked walking away from him, "who else do you think will clean up after you if they didn't?" She threw him a smirk before leaving the kitchen area.

'She has never once said I Love you back to me. Does this mean...' Brain knew deep down what it meant, he just didn't want to believe it was true. It was time to tell the truth and it was going to take some serious convincing on all parties involved.

'Crap why does this happening to me? Who is this guy in any case? And why do always feel like I should know him better than I do? Why do I always cry when I think of him?

Why do I cry every time I think of Alec?'

The end...