Title: Let's Make A Deal
Pairing: Frasier/Roz
Rating: M
Genre: Het
Cat: Episode Tag, Humor, Romance
Spoilers: alternate take on Goodnight, Seattle
Warnings: Sex.
Summary: Frasier's leaving Seattle and his family and Roz are at the airport to see him off. But Roz would rather see him off in another way. Alternate take on the series finale.
Author's Note: I did not lie about writing more of these two, lol. I have a handful of fics in the works, actually, but they're getting lengthy and I'd rather not post until I'm SURE I'm going to finish them. In the meantime, this randomly popped in my head & I knew how I wanted to end it, so I wrote it quick. It could probably have a lower ratings and if I were writing for pretty much any other fandom, I would've rated it a hard T, but there's not really a lot of M-rated fic for Frasier and what I've read has been really mild compared to my other fandoms, so just playing it safe. All that said, I hope you all enjoy!


"I can't believe you're really leaving!" Roz shook Frasier's arm and leaned against him as they walked through the airport. "I'm going to be bothering Niles and Daphne like crazy without you around."

"If that bothering comes with offers to babysit once in a while so Niles and I can have a night off, then by all means, bother away!" Daphne commented from behind them, patting David on the back as she held him against her.

"You know, on second thought, I'm sure I'll be fine on my own," Roz said.

Frasier laughed at their antics, but his laugh quickly turned into a sigh. "I'm really going to miss this."

"Oh, Frasier, stop it. You're going to make me cry!" Daphne said, her voice already cracking.

"You're not the only one," Roz said, still clinging to Frasier.

"Oh, geez, you two." Martin hobbled along on Frasier's other side, rolling his eyes. "You're acting like you're never going to see him again!"

"Dad, please," Frasier insisted, slipping his arm out of Roz's grasp to wrap around her waist. "If they want to express their love and gratitude for me, I think they should be free to do so."

"God forbid you pass up an opportunity for someone to stroke your ego, Frasier," Niles spoke up, and Frasier stopped walking, turning and giving him a sour look.

"If you or Dad don't want to be here, then you can just leave," he said melodramatically. "Roz and Daphne will give me the send-off I deserve."

"Okay, now you're getting on my nerves," Roz muttered. He turned his glare on her and she raised an eyebrow at him, then sighed. She turned to the rest of the group. "Can we have a few minutes alone? I'll get him back before his flight."

"Please," Martin said, and Ronee nudged him in the side. He gave her a dirty look and she slipped her arm through his, which seemed to please him.

Roz thanked them and walked away with Frasier, while the rest of them watched them.

"What do you suppose she wanted to say to him than she couldn't say in front of us?" Ronee asked.

Daphne bounced David in her arms and spoke. "Maybe she's going to tell him she loves him," she suggested, getting a dreamy look on her face. "That would be so romantic!"

"I think Roz is more the type to engage him in more carnal activities," Niles commented, then made a face. "Someone, please, stop me from imagining more."

"I think you two are blowing things way out of proportion," Martin said, still sounding rather surly. "Roz and Frasier are friends. Yeah, they did it that one time," Niles screwed up his face at his father's crass terminology, "and then she gave him that weird ultimatum when he was dating Julia. . ." He trailed off as he realized how all that sounded, then said, "Okay, it's probably a good thing they're alone right now."

"Well, whatever's going on right now," Ronee spoke up, "I'm sure we'll be able to tell what happened once they get back."


"So, Roz, what did you want to talk to me in private about?" Frasier asked as they turned a corner, ending up in a somewhat secluded area of the airport.

"Well, I wanted to give you a going away present," she said, looking slightly embarrassed about it.

Frasier looked surprised, but pleased. "A gift! You didn't have to do that, Roz. Your being here is enough of a gift for me." He gave her an easy smile, then added, "But since you went to the trouble. . ."

Roz glanced around to make sure they were alone, then pushed him through the nearest door, which happened to be a women's bathroom.

"Roz!" Frasier exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

"Something I should have done the moment you said you were leaving," she responded, reaching behind herself to lock the door, then hesitating for only a moment before reaching up and taking Frasier's face in her hands and kissing him.

He was surprised, to say the least, but that surprise gave way to pleasure and he found himself pushing her back against the door and returning the kiss with intensity. Roz moved her hands to his chest and began to unbutton his shirt, breaking away from the kiss long enough to look at her handiwork, and Frasier took the opportunity to speak.

"I thought we decided we weren't doing this again," he said, and Roz struggled with a button before it finally popped out of its hole.

"Yeah, well, I changed my mind," she said, yanking his shirt from his pants once she had it unbuttoned.

"I thought you thought of me like a brother," Frasier commented, helping lift Roz's shirt over her head. Once it was off, he leaned in and assaulted her neck with kisses, causing her to moan.

"And aren't you glad that was something I just said because your family was there?" she managed to say between moans, her hands like claws on his back.

Frasier lifted his lips from her neck long enough to ask, "You couldn't have picked a more comfortable place to do this? Somewhere less public than an airport bathroom?"

"Think of it as an adventure, Frasier," Roz said, gasping as Frasier unzipped her pants and curled his fingers inside the top of her panties. "Besides, I knew I had to do something dramatic to get my point across."

"And what might that point be? That you're so desperate to keep me in Seattle, you'll resort to cheap tactics like sex to get what you want?"

Roz gave him a look. "Are you really complaining, Frasier? I swear to God, I will walk out of this bathroom right now."

"No you won't," Frasier said, sliding his hands around her waist and staring down at her, his solid presence making her feel weak in the knees.

She stared up at him, blinking, then licked her lips. "Only because I'm topless," she murmured, trying to keep her eyes off his lips but failing.

"Can't imagine that's stopped you before," he said, smirking.

"I'm older now, wiser in my ways."

"And that's why we're having sex in an airport bathroom."

"Oh, shut up and kiss me!" Roz pulled him to her by his belt, unable to keep her hands off him any longer. He had no problem fulfilling her request, and felt his belt being pulled from the loops in his pants, then heard the clank of the buckle as it hit the tile floor.

Frasier cringed as he pulled away from Roz, saying, "That belt is Italian leather and was expensive, so please be careful."

"I can buy you a new one," Roz said, yanking his pants down. "I'm station manager now, remember?"

"About that. . ."

Roz growled. "You're really killing the mood, Frasier."

"I just wanted to know. . ." He trailed off as Roz let her hand rest against his crotch, gently massaging him. "On second thought, it's not important."

She grinned. "Thought you might say that."


"They've been gone an awfully long time," Daphne said, shifting David to her opposite arm so she could check her watch. "Perhaps we should ask someone if they've been seen. We wouldn't want Frasier to miss his flight."

Nobody commented on how insincere the last part of her statement sounded, but that was mostly because they all felt the same way. None of them really wanted Frasier to leave, even though he'd promised to visit all the time, and nobody really wanted to interrupt whatever was happening with him and Roz, either. They'd all had the same thought that if anybody could keep him in Washington, it was Roz. Yes, they were his family, but he had a special relationship with Roz that none of them could touch.

Ronee spotted an airport employee coming from the area they'd seen Frasier and Roz head off in and walked up to him. "Excuse me, have you seen a middle-aged couple recently? The man was wearing a gray suit and the woman a green blouse and black pants. They walked toward the bathrooms about 10 minutes ago."

The man grinned at her. "I haven't seen anybody, but I could hear voices coming from the women's bathroom. Sounded like a couple arguing."

Ronee rolled her eyes. "That's them. Thank you." She turned back to Niles, Daphne and Martin. "I think we're just going to have to wait for them to come back," she said, moving to sit next to Martin. "They're in the ladies' room, apparently arguing."

"Why in the world would they be in the women's bathroom?" Daphne asked, then it dawned on her. "Oh. Well, that doesn't explain the arguing."

"Knowing those two?" Martin said. "Yeah, it does."

"Well, this isn't awkward at all," Niles commented. "Are we just supposed to sit around and wait for them to return from playing doctor?"

"We can't just leave!" Daphne chastised him, swatting him softly on the arm. He pouted and she caressed the spot she just hit, turning him toward her for a kiss, while Martin rolled his eyes and Ronee grinned.

"Then we wait," Ronee said. David took that moment as a cue to start crying, and as Daphne soothed him, Martin let out a deep breath. This was turning out to be a very long day.


"Are you sure I look okay?"

"Yes! I wouldn't let you out of the bathroom without making sure you did. Okay, so perhaps I was more concerned about myself being dressed. . ."

"Frasier!"

"Sorry, sorry." He stopped and turned Roz so he could do a once-over, make sure nothing was out of place. He brushed his thumb over the corner of her lip, removing some stray lipstick, and was unable to hold back a smile.

"Don't smile like that when we get back to your family or they're all going to know what we were doing," Roz said, though she had the same smile on her face. She straightened his tie and smoothed out his blazer and he gave her a look that asked if he looked presentable. "There. You look just as good as you did when we got here." She then used his tie to pull herself closer to him and muttered in his ear, "Though not as good as a few minutes ago."

He narrowed his eyes at her in lust and said, "Maybe we can make this a regular thing."

She smirked as she released his tie and turned around. "Why do you think I planned this?" she said, then started walking away without waiting for him.

"Very sly, Ms. Doyle," Frasier muttered to himself, his eyes on her ass as she walked away. It didn't take him long to catch up to her, and the arm he slid around her waist didn't surprise Roz at all.

They managed to look somewhat casual as they reached Frasier's family, and everyone stood to greet them, Niles and Daphne sounding flustered.

"Frasier, your flight!" Daphne said, bouncing David in her arms and trying to keep him from crying again.

"You're certainly going to miss it if you don't hurry," Niles added.

"Well, when I do, I expect Roz will reimburse me," Frasier said, and Roz gave him a look that said they hadn't agreed on that. He grinned. "I'm staying in Seattle."

Everyone exploded into cheers of excitement at the news, giving out hugs to Frasier and each other, and finally Daphne asked the question everyone was thinking.

"What made you change your mind?"

Frasier glanced at Roz as he answered. "Well, Roz is the station manager now. . ."

Roz grinned as she turned back to the group. "What can I say? I made him an offer he couldn't refuse."

THE END!