Disclaimer: I do not own warriors. Why would I own warriors? This is a fanfiction website, not a fiction website. If I owned warriors, why would I be here? Would I really be lonely enough to write fanfiction about my own books?

"It's here!" Somecat yowled.

A box arrived with Sandstorm's sugary treats (my tribute to lugirocks, an inspiration for this fanfiction.)

"Those look good," Lionblaze meowed through slobber.

In the queen's den, Poppyfrost was grooming Cherryfrost and Molefrost, even though they were grown warriors.

"Mom! You beotch; stop doing that! It's embarrassing!"

"You have to look nice dear for today's….." Poppyfrost mewed "Today's….."

Outside, Leafpool was having a seizure again. Jayfeather didn't notice, as Leafpool's seizure was quiet and without any smell whatsoever. And Jayfeather couldn't see, after all. Plus, he was too busy receiving a prophecy from starclan.

You must watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey to save the clan…

Dovewing and Bumblestripe were eating mice in a bush. Or atleast, that's what they told everyone.

"May all cats old enough to walk to the highledge walk to the highledge!" Firestar yowled. Dovewing and Bumblestripe emerged from the bush where they were… eating mice, and Leafpool continued to have a seizure.

"Damn, does that bush shake when Bumblestripe and Dovewing eat mice. I don't suspect anything, though." Said Foxleap.

"Okay, Sandstorm is waiting for me, so let's keep this short and sweet." Firestar announced. "It has come to my attention that leafbare is coming. And it looks to be a cold one. So we must prepare!" Firestar brought out two needles and a ball of yarn. "Thunderclan will knit scarves! We can sell the extras to buy a bigger den for all of Dovewing and Bumblestripe's kits. Because they eat so many mice, that is."

A murmur of approval ran through the crowd. But then one cat stood up.

"This is an outrage!" Thornclaw yowled.

"Shaddup Thornclaw, you beotch, your always against everything we decide to do."

Soon, all of the cats in the camp were wearing sweaters. Except Purdy. He was wearing a rainbow sweater-vest, because he was the Thunderclan gay Tom.

Whitewing was on a walk when her paw got stuck in a rabbit hole.

"Help! It's stuck!" She wailed.

"That's what she said." Giggled Toadstep.

"But look at this tunnel!"

"What about it?"

"It's so long!"

"That's what she said."

Lilykit scampered by, and saw a pretty flower. "Can I touch it?"

"That's what she said." Mewed toadstep.

Jayfeather was giving Whitewing a large root to chew on to ease the pain from escaping from the rabbit hole.

"I can't fit my mouth around it, Jayfeather!"

"That's what she said." Piped in Toadstep.

"How'd you even get in here, Toadstep?"

Outside, Brambleclaw was talking to the clan.

"I'll organize the patrols."

"That's what she said." Giggled Toadstep.

"I don't even see how that works…"