Serena had been avoiding social media, specifically Bernie's social media, ever since they had gone their separate ways. She had even made it a point to mute Bernie from her Facebook feed, since she didn't want to be reminded of all the things she had lost due to her stupidity. And while she knew that Bernie was being kind by intimating that she had also cheated on Serena, she also knew that there was no way on this earth that Bernie had been as weak as she was, not when she had risked so much by being with Serena in the first place.
That avoidance had ended today, when Cam had come down to talk to her, unloading about how Jac was riding him tighter than a jockey rides a race horse. She had tried to avoid giggling at that description, since it was so fitting, but then he had given her a look so much like the longsuffering looks Bernie had given her once upon a time and she had burst into a gale of laughter. Cameron had let out a huffy breath before turning on his heel and leaving the office and closing the door firmly behind him. Knowing that she had to reach out to Bernie, she had called up her Facebook profile and went to write on her wall, even though she knew Cam would see. Her hands hovered over her keyboard when she saw that Bernie had posted a few new pictures, going so far as to make one her new profile picture.
The mirth that was in her heart crumbled to ashes as she took in the fact that Bernie's new profile picture included a younger brunette woman who was gazing adoringly up at Bernie's face, even though she was looking at the camera. Before the tears could take over her body, though, a flash of white hot jealousy ran through Serena. The suddenness of it took her aback, as she hadn't realized that she could still be so possessive over someone who was no longer a part of her life. Letting out a deep sigh, she quickly closed the tab on her laptop and pulled out her phone instead, bringing up her text messages and writing to her former partner there.
Your son is going to find himself in for a rude awakening if he doesn't stop needling Jac Naylor! Though I am ever so glad that someone can give back to her what she dishes out. Maybe it really does take the courage of the young to truly buck expectations and take risks. Certainly seems to be the case for you! She's lovely, by the by, and you look so happy. Tell me all the details! x
Serena pressed the send button before she could second guess herself, before she let her jealousy get the better of her. As she stared at the screen, she noticed the three bouncing dots appear, and she stared at them, wondering what Bernie was going to write back. They continued on for some time before stopping, with no message forthcoming, and Serena felt her shoulders sag as she exited out of her messages and set her phone aside so that she could focus on end of day admin paperwork and then head home. She had just gotten back into a good rhythm when her phone rang.
Looking at the screen, she felt the blood drain from her face when she saw Bernie's smiling face staring up at her. Drawing in a deep breath, she answered the call, hoping that she sounded a little bit normal. "I was not expecting you to call!"
"You're the one who texted me, Serena."
"Well, yes, but that doesn't necessitate a phone call, you could have texted me back." In two sentences, they were already sniping at each other, and those tears she had been able to hold back earlier started slipping down her face silently. "How are you?"
"Tired. There were a large number of trauma cases brought in today, as a result of the terror attack that took place. The, the young woman in my profile picture was one of my registrars. She was doing everything right, trying to help people, and that didn't seem to matter."
Bernie's voice broke, and Serena felt so guilty for her momentary spark of jealousy. Suddenly, all the miles between them seemed to melt away, and she sighed heartbrokenly as she leaned back in her chair, looking at the ceiling of the office, trying to rein in her emotions, knowing that her focus had to be on Bernie, not on herself. "I am so sorry that you lost her," she murmured as her free hand rubbed her chest absently, trying to soothe herself and Bernie. "Do, do you need any help?"
"We always need help, Serena. Especially now. But I would never ask you to come here again." A part of her bristled at the tone Bernie was taking with her, but she waited to see what she would say next. "We have so much to talk about that I can't tell you over the phone, things I didn't know when I took this dream job, but I cannot ask you to come here. I want you to always be safe."
"Why wouldn't I be safe here?"
A long sigh tripped across her ears and Serena hunched her shoulders together as she waited for Bernie to reply. "I didn't know because I didn't do my research properly, but this is not a safe space for us. Young people know these things, research these things, in a way that I just didn't think of, being in the closet for so much of my life. We're behind the eight ball, and I, I want to be home."
"Oh," she breathed out, a wave of sorrow sweeping over her heart. "Can, can you back out of your contract? Now that I know about your safety concerns, I want to protect you. You said that you'd come back in a heartbeat if anyone even thought about hurting me. Can't it be the same for myself?"
A tiny, watery, chuckle burst from Bernie's mouth, and Serena could just picture how she looked in that moment. "My fierce little Serena. I love that you want to take on this battle. But you're just one person against an entire government."
"I could still try?"
"And I have no doubt that you would do your damnedest to make certain that things changed before you were kicked out of the country or hurt. There is only one of those outcomes that I could live with, so I wouldn't want you taking the risk. I'm a big macho army medic, remember? I can take care of myself, I hope."
"It's that doubt that worries me. Bernie?"
There was a slight pause on the other end of the line, as if she knew what Serena was about to say, and then she heard her beloved's voice once more. "Yeah?"
"I love you. But that was never the problem between us, was it?"
"No. Hearing you say that, though, will help me make it through the next few weeks, as we try to recover from this devastation. You just, you don't think that such things are going to happen until they do. Since I have you on the line, would you mind telling me about what's happening at Holby?"
"If you have the time, I have to voice," she replied. There was something so lovely about being able to talk to Bernie, to fill her in on the workings of the hospital, since she knew that that would take her mind off what was happening in Nairobi. "So, we have a new ward. The Trust decided that Holby needs an image makeover, so we have this woman, Ange Godard, running a young adult unit, taking over half of Keller. She's friends with Tom Campbell Gore, who seems to know you quite well. According to him, I'm not enough lipstick for you, to be your arm candy."
"He said that?"
"Yes. I made certain to put him in his place, though. Small man syndrome never suits anyone well."
That sweet bark of a laugh erupted from Bernie's lips, causing her to giggle along with her. "I can see him saying that, honestly. How did he react to your verbal dressing down?"
"He had a heart attack!"
"No!"
"Honest. He was in the middle of surgery with Mister Copeland and Henrik, and just fell back onto the floor. He's doing better now, but let me tell you, I felt really guilty for straining his heart so."
"You had no way of knowing the state of his heart, Serena, and he's alive. There's nothing to feel guilty of. How's Cameron fitting in on Keller?"
"Like I texted, he's giving Jac a run for her money. He has a nickname that he can't stand, which is par for the course with Jac, but means that he's fitting in. I think that she's going to make a great doctor out of him yet. You'd be so proud of him, Bernie! And…thank you for not running me down with him or Charlotte. I know that I was the one who destroyed things between us, and that you had every right to tell them the entire truth, but the fact that you spared me of that means the world."
"We'll always be a family of sorts, so I would never think about airing our dirty laundry. The full truth of everything deserves to be ours and ours alone. Because it doesn't influence how I feel about you, in the end." There was another pause, and then Serena heard a slight sniffle that told her Bernie was crying again. "I love you, Campbell. I don't think I'm quite as tough as I make myself out to be, but still, I love you. Thank you for texting me tonight. I really needed a friend to talk to."
"Thank Cameron, he was the one who came in here ranting. Now, tell me all about your friend who passed. She truly did look like a lovely young woman."
"Okay," Bernie whispered, and Serena smiled sadly as she got up from her desk and made her way over to the sofa, settling in to listen to Bernie talk about the person she had just lost, grateful that her jealous heart had resulted in something so lovely happening between Bernie and herself on a night when there had been such tragedy in her life.
