I was just looking around youtube a few days ago, trying to look for a song to listen to when I ran into this French Band "Kyo". The song that got my attention was "Dernière Danse". Thank goodness for google and babelfish, I managed to understand a bit of it... Last dance, I think it means... While listening to it, the last line of this fic suddenly slapped me in the face and I had to write it. Please forgive my impulsiveness...
Just a small note, Joshua has a very interesting name. I just found out a few days ago. The Kanji for Yoshiya means "Justice will prevail" or something like that. And Kiryuu means "Living Paulownia Tree." Heehee... Just a random thing.
This is a JoshuaxNeku fic. Maa... with slight spoilers, I guess... errr...
Thank you very much for reading.
"Dernière Danse"
"It was always you." You said. "It was always been only you."
Even though you said those words, even though I knew it was going to happen at one point or the other, I couldn't accept it. But you looked at me with those tired, ageless eyes; I had no choice but to accept it.
"Why me?" I asked.
"Because." you replied.
"That's not answer." I replied back. Though, I knew what you meant and you also knew that I knew the reasons.
The Room of Reckoning was cold and empty and strangely dark to my eyes and you shone like white light against the darkness of this hall. You just sat there on the floor in front of me, smiling in the only way you can. There was pain in your eyes. I knew you did not want me to go and do this if it could have been avoided but it can't. The weaving of Shibuya has become weak and if it broke...
...Your world and mine, the world that allowed us to meet, would disappear.
And your memory... My memories of you would disappear...
To be forgotten is a fate worst than death, someone once said. And I would never allow you to be forgotten.
Slowly, I let out a trembling sigh as I looked down at my hands that held the gun. It was the same gun that took my life twice and it was the same gun with the bullet that would pierce your heart. You smiled because you knew I understood, somehow, what had to be done. It was bitter-sweet release…. But you couldn't just up and leave. Shibuya must have a new Composer. And that Composer had to be me.
You took both my hands in yours and held them steady for what was to come. Your hands were very warm but the frigid metal chilled me to the bones and I shivered.
"Hush now..." You whispered to my crying self. "You'll be alright..."
"I'm not so sure about that..." My hands were usually very steady but now they shook and trembled as I gripped the gun. The one that would end your existence.
"Don't you trust me?" You asked with that familiar smug grin on your face. You looked young when you smiled. And it reminded me of our days of long ago.
"I do…" I whispered. "I do…"
You continued to smile. There was more truth to those words than anything else I have ever uttered in my life. I trusted you with my life even though you took it twice but you gave it back and much, much more…
"I will miss you…" I confessed.
You laughed sweet laughter that rang in my ears. I smiled but my lips trembled when I did so. I silently prayed that moment to stretch on but it was not meant to be so. Finally, you raised my hand that held the cold, cold metal.
Don't make me do this… I pleaded though the words did not escape my lips. "Please…" My voiced worked.
"Hush, now… Don't worry…" You whispered as if that could comfort me. Nothing would comfort me now. "Don't worry… We'll be alright…"
It was over in an instant. The sound of the gun echoed across the walls of this empty room, it deafened my ears and you bled, sweet, red blood… I didn't even know you could bleed. But you bled; red stained the cold floor and my hands as I held you.
You didn't even cry out in pain.
You only smiled and I sat there as I held you one last time. How can you be so strong at a time like this? Never before had you resembled your namesake more than now. Paulownia Tree… Where the phoenix drinks dews of immortality from… Someone with a tender heart and a strong character… I wondered if we drank your tears, would we become immortal too?
"Hush now…" You said again.
You held on for a while and whispered words into my ear as my heart both soared and broke. Words I longed to hear finally uttered by your dying self. Why did we wait this long before mentioning them? But were those words really so surprising?
I supposed not. Because we always knew one way or the other. We just never said them out loud.
I helped you up. Your body was light against mine as I felt the strength ebb away from you. Your white form slowly dissolving into lights and even as you died, you were beautiful still. You are no angel; otherwise, you would have ascended to the Higher Plane… Somewhere I could never hope to reach as I once was... But still, I cannot help but think that maybe you had been one at one time or the other…
"Joshua…" I whispered your name.
You smiled. You wanted to die standing and I watched you as you tried to be strong and I wished that I had been able to prevent it. But then, if I did, would you have been happy?
No sense in regretting now. The deed was done and now this was all that remained.
"Thank you, Neku…" You whispered, smiling, content.
Bitter-sweet release for you. All I wanted was for you to be happy. Even at the cost of my own. You said we would be alright, and I trust you. I trust your words. I hung onto them as I watched you.
"Wait a few years…" I told you. "One day, I will rejoin you…"
It may not happen and maybe we would never meet but I can wish for it, can't I?
You shone like little, glittering lights as you faded away and I...
...I stood there, lonely tears stained my cheeks as I bathed in the shinning pieces of you…
END
Random trivia...
It was once customary to plant a Paulownia tree when a girl in born and to cut it down and turn it into a dresser to give it to the girl on her wedding day. For the Chinese, as far as I know, the phoenix gets its immortality from drinking on the dews that collect on the leaves of the Paulownia. It's soft and tender but it's also firm and strong so I think it's pretty good for making the dresser... It's also the symbol of a virtuous man. One who is strong and steady in character but with a tender heart.
Sorry... I'm rambling again. Just some random stuff. Please forgive me... Thank you for reading.
